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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104823">Flame and Dagger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smediterranea/pseuds/Smediterranea'>Smediterranea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Trust and relationship building, Violence, hella consent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:34:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>60,933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smediterranea/pseuds/Smediterranea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mai supposes it isn’t quite fair to heap all of the blame on Ty Lee. After all, Ty Lee likely had no idea what her actions had led to. Mai couldn’t entirely fault her for running off to the circus. What Mai <i>could</i> fault Ty Lee for was leaving without telling her. Mai would have understood. More than understood, Mai would have gone with her. Instead, Mai is trapped as an army of servants prepare her for her moment of reckoning.</p>
<p>Today is her wedding day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An alternate-universe Maiko adventure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>311</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Union of Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is all Ty Lee’s fault.</p>
<p>Mai supposes it isn’t quite fair to heap <i>all</i> of the blame on Ty Lee. After all, Ty Lee likely had no idea what her actions had led to. Mai couldn’t entirely fault her for running off to the circus. She was probably having a wonderful time wherever she was, traipsing about like she was born to do.</p>
<p>What Mai <i>could</i> fault Ty Lee for was leaving without telling her. Mai would have understood. More than understood, Mai would have gone with her. Sure, becoming a circus performer wasn’t very high on Mai’s life ambitions, but it would have been better than this.</p>
<p>Alas, Ty Lee had disappeared without a word, and Mai had learned about it too late. By the time Ty Lee’s escape had reached Mai’s ears, Mai’s mother had already been alerted. Mai was trapped before she, too, could escape.</p>
<p>Now, Mai is sitting stone-faced before an army of servants, a dozen of whom are stabbing her in the head with pins to keep her long hair in place. She cannot flinch even in the slightest. There are a handful of seamstresses finishing hems and two eagle-eyed women painting Mai’s face with what feels like pounds of makeup. Mai doesn’t move, but her heart races faster with each passing minute. Her moment of reckoning is coming. </p>
<p>Today is her wedding day.</p>
<p>Mai’s mother stands on the periphery of the chaos. She looks, if not satisfied, then at least relieved. She had managed to arrange this match just in time. Mai had resisted any hint of an arranged match for years, but Ty Lee’s departure had been the final straw for Mai’s mother. She had known that had she not secured this contract, Mai would run away, too. The family name would have fallen into ruin. Certainly, this was not the match Mai’s mother had wanted for her only daughter, but a lopsided match was better than none.</p>
<p>Mai had had her chance to flee. Even in the final few days, when her mother had been in a frenzy of negotiation, Mai could have run away. It would have hurt to leave behind her little brother, Tom-Tom, but she would have been glad to be rid of her parents and her stifling life. Had the match been with anyone else, Mai certainly would have tried to escape. She still isn’t sure what made her stay — pity? Hope? She tries to keep this thought at bay; the idea that she could have any hope for her future is a set up for a grim disappointment.</p>
<p>After hours of preparation, Mai is turned out in front of the crowd of noblemen and women waiting for her under the blazing midday sun. Their eyes bore into her, but she pays them no mind. With all the work of the handmaidens, she is nothing short of perfection. With the elegant poise that has been trained into her every day of her eighteen years, Mai glides towards her husband-to-be.</p>
<p>She had been warned, of course, that he was very ugly. At least, that had been what Azula described; Mai had been stuck in Omashu with her family for the past several years since her father was awarded the governorship. Mai knew little of the Caldera City nobility now. She recognized some of them, but she remembered them as a child would: who would turn a blind eye when they were stealing sweets, and who would chastise them. Mai had not wanted to appear weak by asking too many details about her new husband. After all, she was going to be bound to him forever no matter what. She didn’t want Azula to poison her marriage before it even began.</p>
<p>Mai is surprised to find that her husband-to-be is <i>not</i> ugly, although the expression on his face is. There is anger there, deep and wild, and Mai feels uneasy to see it. She remembers him, of course, but the anger wasn’t there when she left. He had had a temper — all firebenders were a little hot-headed in Mai’s opinion — but it was all flash without heat. Now though… now a sense of trepidation blooms in Mai’s gut. She had not expected his fury.</p>
<p>She draws close to the altar. She pauses when she reaches the three stairs up to the dais where her groom and several Fire Sages preside. The volume of her skirts makes it difficult to see the stairs beneath her, and when her gaze drops to double-check her footing, a hand appears. She looks up; her husband-to-be has extended his arm to steady her. Her first instinct is to reject it — she is not some damsel in distress, she is perfectly capable of walking up some steps — but she delicately places her hand on top of his. There is a slight twittering in the crowd — how gallant the groom’s actions, how delicate the bride — and Mai knows that this was the right choice. She steals a glance up at him and her chest grows tight.</p>
<p>Most women of Mai’s social standing would be appalled to marry him. Mai knows her mother once tried to negotiate a match with his family long ago, but she withdrew Mai’s name after the scandal that had befallen him. It was truly an act of desperation that Mai’s mother had gone through with this deal. Mai knew that many in the crowd pitied her for having to marry such a disgraced man.</p>
<p>Mai, however, doesn’t hold much stock in so-called ‘honor.’ She had met plenty of her parent’s honored guests as they traveled through Omashu: generals who ruthlessly demolished villages in their path, merchants who manipulated markets for their own gain, socialites who did nothing but scheme to harm those who threatened their perceived power. Mai knew that the honor of the Fire Nation wasn’t something to be respected, although she was smart enough to never say this out loud.</p>
<p>If it weren’t for the scandal looming over him like a cloud, Mai knew that every woman her age would be champing at the bit to stand in her place. Azula had been dead wrong — he was not ugly at all. He was tall and angular, his features chiseled like marble. He held himself with pride despite his tarnished reputation. Now that he looked upon her with concern rather than anger, Mai wondered why anyone would be bothered by his looks. There was, of course, the scar, but Mai had seen worse. Not much worse, but still. </p>
<p>Prince Zuko was a sight to behold.</p>
<p>The Fire Sages begin, and Mai is immediately bored. She had been warned that the ceremony would be ‘traditional,’ but it seems to stretch on into eternity. The first two hours are just to commune with the spirits. There are spirits to thank, spirits to ward off, spirits to be summoned to grant blessings onto the new couple. Mai tries not to grind her teeth. There are many special blessings for her, all of them in regards to her fertility. The spirits are asked to provide her with hordes of royal babies — all prodigious firebenders, as if Mai’s lack of firebending was something to be ashamed of — and to provide Mai with the graceful, gentle countenance of a royal princess. Mai remains silent through all of this, staring ahead and thinking wistfully of stabbing each and every one of these old doddering fools.</p>
<p>Beyond her brief interaction with Zuko on the stairs, there is no hint of romance in the rest of the ceremony. There is much discussion of duty and loyalty and obedience, but no mention of love or even partnership. Mai is mildly relieved by this. She can keep a straight face through almost anything, but it hurts to realize she will never love or be loved by her husband. She had accepted long ago that her parents would one day marry her off — that was the fate of all noblemen and women — but there had already been a secret part of her that had wished for love. It would be nice, for once, to have someone who knew who she <i>really</i> was and loved her anyway.</p>
<p>The ceremony lasts until dusk, by which point Mai is feeling quite faint from lack of hydration and from the weight of the heavy ornaments pinned into her hair. She and Zuko light the traditional flame together — Zuko sets it alight with his hands, while Mai uses a long, dainty match — which will burn through the first night of their marriage. Tradition stated that if it blew out before the morning, the marriage could be annulled, as it was a sign that the couple would not produce any firebending children. Mai tries not to show her annoyance at this. She knows the Fire Nation values firebending over everything else, but she would like to think that her worth is more than just the ability to reheat cold tea cups.</p>
<p>The crowd claps politely, although it is more muted than any wedding Mai has ever attended. As she and Zuko walk in step down the aisle, Mai catches glimpses of the guests. Some look merely exhausted by the length of the spectacle, but several look pitying or smug. They feel bad for her, or they are amused by her predicament. Mai tries to ignore them, but she thinks, for the first time, she might understand the anger on Zuko’s face earlier. If this was how everyone treated him, his anger would be more than justified.</p>
<p>The feast is a surreal event. It’s a bit dizzying to realize that she has a <i>husband</i> now, but perhaps it is just lack of food that is making her feel faint. She can barely eat a single bite with the long line of nobility coming to offer their congratulations. She watches Zuko’s jaw grind furiously with each veiled remark. Most of these slights come from the fact that Azula and Ozai are circling close by. No one wants to be in trouble with the temperamental Fire Lord and Fire Princess, the former who openly loathes his son, and latter who loves to torture him. Mai knows she shouldn’t fidget, but by the tenth mocking congratulations, she is making stabbing motions under the table at each person who approaches them.</p>
<p>The Fire Sages call the room to attention again, this time to sing Fire Lord Ozai’s praises. The crowd ignores Mai and Zuko entirely while Ozai preens at the front of the hall. It is not lost on Mai that the two of them have been seated far from the place of honored guests, much less a newly-married couple. It works to their advantage now, both of them shoveling in as much food and drink as they can before anyone notices. It’s not very lady-like of her, but Zuko doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, he retains his manners by refilling her drink and plate. When, finally, Ozai releases the crowd from his attentions, Mai’s plate looks relatively untouched. The guests comment on what a proper lady she is for this, and Mai resumes her discreet stabbing thrusts. Zuko finally seems to notice and, when no one is looking, gives her the ghost of a smile. Mai curses her weakness; a mere smile and she is blushing, although thankfully her makeup is too thick for anyone to notice.</p>
<p>Fortunately, firebenders are the early-to-bed sort, and the feast does not rage long into the night. Perhaps the brevity of the party is supposed to be another insult towards Zuko, but Mai cannot bring herself to care. She is exhausted, and she lets the ladies in waiting whisk her away without complaint. It is a relief to rid herself of the restrictive wedding garb and heavy jewelry. They swipe furiously at her face to remove her makeup. </p>
<p>Mai sighs in relief, slowly relaxing until she realizes her hair is being pinned again. Fine brushes swipe across her cheeks to add a hint of rouge to her pale skin. The handmaids start squeezing her limbs into another tight dress, this one with small ties that curve around her frame. Her stomach knots.</p>
<p>Her mother arrives to give her a once over.</p>
<p>“Do your duty, Mai,” she says.</p>
<p>She sweeps out of the room without a backwards glance. Mai thinks she might be sick. In her anxiety about the ceremony, she had forgotten about the wedding night. She realizes now that she has very little idea of what her ‘duty’ entails. Her mother had told her once that it would be painful, but that it happened to all women and it was necessary to submit. Mai could not think of anything more repugnant. </p>
<p>Her limbs grow heavy, and the ladies-in-waiting have to shove her towards the door. Like an armed guard, they escort her to Zuko’s chambers. She is told her own chambers are sealed for a week, as it is tradition that the new couple spend this early period together. Without much fanfare, she is shunted through a door and it is sealed behind her with a sinister click. She stares back at it, horror mounting with each passing second.</p>
<p>“Do you want some tea?”</p>
<p>Mai whirls around. She feels naked. She hadn’t had time to grab even the smallest of her daggers.</p>
<p>Zuko stands stiffly in a far corner of the room. There is a huge canopied bed at the center that Zuko seems to be pointedly avoiding. Instead, he keeps his eyes on the table before him where a steaming teapot waits.</p>
<p>“My uncle could not come to the wedding, but before he left, he gave me this tea,” Zuko explains, not meeting Mai’s eyes. “He said… he said it would be a good idea. To have tea with you, I mean.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Mai asks, failing to hide the suspicion in her voice.</p>
<p>Zuko flinches.</p>
<p>“I’m not a monster,” he says petulantly. “No matter what everyone else says. I can do things just to be nice. It’s not unheard of —“</p>
<p>Mai watches as his chest rises and falls more rapidly. She can hear the hurt and anger in his voice. It feels familiar to her and, without thinking, she walks towards him.</p>
<p>Zuko seems surprised at the movement, and finally looks up at her. He flushes slightly and quickly busies himself with pouring the tea. He serves her without looking up again.</p>
<p>“That bad?” she asks resignedly.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“You won’t look at me,” Mai points out. “I didn’t get to see what they did to me before they shoved me in here. I know they put on makeup. I look ridiculous, don’t I?”</p>
<p>Zuko meets her eyes again, blinking in confusion.</p>
<p>“No, you look… you look nice.”</p>
<p>Mai raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“You don’t look like how I remembered,” he says with a frown.</p>
<p>“You haven’t seen me since I was eleven,” she points out. “You don’t exactly look the same either.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s hand flies to his cheek. There is a look of bitterness in his scowl.</p>
<p>“Not your scar,” she says, rolling her eyes in annoyance. </p>
<p>Zuko gives her a look of disbelief.</p>
<p>“You’re a lot taller now,” she shrugs.</p>
<p>“That’s not usually the first thing people notice about me,” Zuko says, still sounding doubtful.</p>
<p>“It’s not the first thing I noticed either.”</p>
<p>“So it <i>was</i> my scar —“</p>
<p>“You looked angry,” Mai interrupts. “That’s what I noticed first.”</p>
<p>There is an awkward pause.</p>
<p>“Aren't <i>you</i> angry?” Zuko asks with some hesitation. “You were forced to marry me, weren’t you? Your mother was very… <i>insistent</i>, according to my uncle.”</p>
<p>“Your uncle? Didn’t your father arrange the match?”</p>
<p>Zuko flushes.</p>
<p>“Uncle Iroh has been minding me since I lost my honor. I am not worthy to have my match set by the Firelord himself.”</p>
<p>“But you’re his first born,” Mai says, slightly confused. “His only son.”</p>
<p>She knew Zuko had gotten in trouble several years ago. There had been a rumor that Ozai had wanted to exile him, but he had been wise enough to see that banishing a thirteen year-old was bad for his image as the protector of the great Fire Nation. Zuko had, however, lost his honor and disgraced himself in Agni Kai. Mai knew more details than most — Azula had boasted about <i>why</i> Zuko had gotten into trouble. <i>What a dumb-dumb, running his mouth</i>, she had laughed.</p>
<p>In the end, it was probably why Mai hadn’t run away from this marriage. Zuko had had more courage at thirteen than Mai possessed now at eighteen. He was certainly braver than anyone else in that war room, who led their men to slaughter rather than speak up. If she had to marry anyone, she wanted it to be someone who wasn’t afraid of the truth. </p>
<p>Now that she sees Zuko, she realizes that everyone in the Royal Palace has spent the last seven years trying to beat his courage out of him. His father had tried it physically with the Agni Kai, and Azula had delighted in doing it psychologically. Mai had thought she would be marrying the last good man in the Fire Nation. Now he looked like just another broken one.</p>
<p>“I am without honor,” Zuko says dully, as if he has repeated this many times. “I disgraced myself and I am not worthy of the throne. But…”</p>
<p>Zuko’s golden eyes blaze in the dim firelight. Mai holds her breath.</p>
<p>“I will regain my honor,” Zuko continues with spellbinding conviction. “I will set right what I have done, and I will do my duty to the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>Mai stares at him.</p>
<p>“How does a person regain their honor?” she asks finally.</p>
<p>Zuko looks suddenly shame-faced.</p>
<p>“I had hoped that perhaps our union… My father says if I… if we…”</p>
<p>Mai shoves away her tea. She stands so quickly, her chair clatters behind her.</p>
<p>“You’ve brought me here to be a… a <i>brood mare</i>,” she spits. “That’s what the Fire Sages kept talking about — I’m supposed to give you firebending babies, is that it? And then what, they have to duel Azula for your place on the throne?”</p>
<p>“No!” Zuko says, standing just as suddenly. “No, Mai. Let me explain.”</p>
<p>Mai crosses her arms defensively, wishing for the thousandth time that she could stab something.</p>
<p>“That <i>is</i> what my father suggested,” Zuko admits. “But I don’t think… well, you’re right. Even if we <i>did</i> have a child, it would take ages before they would bend fire. My father would probably say they weren’t good enough, though. It’s what he always told me, even before…”</p>
<p>Zuko rubs absent-mindedly at his scar. Mai supposes she should extend some sympathy to him, but she is still too furious.</p>
<p>“I’ve tried to regain my honor many times,” Zuko says, staring off into memories only he can see. “My father wanted me to search for the Avatar.”</p>
<p>“The Avatar disappeared a hundred years ago,” Mai says frostily.</p>
<p>“Yes, but I was still determined to go… but Azula said that if I left, my father would never let me return until I found the Avatar. I thought it better to stay here to regain my honor. I thought there would be something here to clear my shame,” he says bitterly, darkness hanging over him like a cloud. “So I stayed. I was given the most menial of projects, but I knew I would never prove myself unless I embarked on something great. I wanted to volunteer to go to the battlefront, but my uncle stopped me.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Mai asks. </p>
<p>Everything she knows about the Dragon of the West is from Azula. Iroh may have once been a powerful general, but the loss of his son had changed things. Azula mocked him for it, but it made Mai feel a little queasy imagining what it would be like to lose someone she loved like that. The only person who came close in her life was Tom-Tom, and she would have slit the throat of every person in Omashu if a single hair on his head came to harm.</p>
<p>Zuko looks back at his tea with a forlorn expression.</p>
<p>“My uncle is… unconventional. For a long time, I thought he was holding me back. If only he had let me go to war, I could have proved what I was made of… I wasn’t afraid of dying, so long as I didn’t die without honor.”</p>
<p>“So why didn’t you go?”</p>
<p>Zuko is quiet for a long time.</p>
<p>“You’re my wife now. You can’t tell Azula everything I say,” Zuko says finally.</p>
<p>Mai crosses her arm, her annoyance flaring again.</p>
<p>“I don’t tell Azula everything.”</p>
<p>“She’ll get it out of you,” he warns.</p>
<p>“Maybe she can get things out of <i>you</i>. Trust me, I’m harder to crack.”</p>
<p>“That’s probably true,” Zuko sighs.</p>
<p>“So tell me.”</p>
<p>Zuko gives her a long, evaluating look before sighing again.</p>
<p>“The truth is, I waited too long. My uncle kept trying to persuade me not to go, and because I… I <i>care<i> about him —” Zuko says this as if it were shameful — “I waited. I wanted to go, but the regiment left without me. It was the 32nd Naval Brigade.”</i></i></p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai waits for an explanation, but none comes.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m not privy to Fire Nation war meetings,” she reminds him. “What’s the 32nd Naval Brigade?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, right. Well, they were tasked with the latest assault on the Northern Water Tribe.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I didn’t hear about that,” she frowns.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Of course you didn’t,” Zuko says grimly. “If the rumors are to be believed, they were attacked by a giant water spirit. There were no survivors.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai feels cold despite the warmth of the summer evening. Zuko slumps back into his seat.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“All I’ve wanted for years is to regain my honor. I don’t think siring a firebending prodigy will be the way to do it,” he adds quickly, “but I’m not giving up.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai worries that her new husband is an idiot. Seven years of fruitlessly chasing after something Mai knew his father would never grant him… perhaps Zuko was as sentimental as Azula had said. Feelings were very foolish in Mai’s opinion. It was best to suppress them as much as possible.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>However, she decides it is best not to cause too much friction the very first night of their marriage. She <i>had</i> promised subservience — albeit very begrudgingly — so this was probably the first of many times she should have to nod along and swallow her response.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>After a long silence, Zuko sighs again.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“We should go to bed.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai stiffens. It was one thing to submit to her husband’s opinions, but this…</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko seems to realize what he has said and flushes.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“We don’t have to… I mean, if you want…” he starts uncomfortably.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“We might as well get it over with,” Mai says with a neutrality that she most certainly does not feel.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>This is clearly the wrong thing to say. Zuko’s face falls.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Mai…”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai fumbles at the ties on her dress. They start at her shoulder, dozens of little bows parading in a curved line across her back to her hips. She can barely reach them, but she does her best to hurry. The sooner this is over, the better.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko crosses the length of the table to rest his hand on her shoulder. She goes still, waiting for him to loosen the ties. She tries not to breathe — she feels on the verge of tears, and she refuses to cry in front of him. She will master her emotions and do what it takes to survive this.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>To her surprise, Zuko does not move to unlace her. She can feel the heat of his palm against the small patch of exposed skin, but he makes no movement to caress or touch her in any way. He just stands there. After a moment, she realizes that he, too, is breathing rather unsteadily.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“We don’t have to do anything,” Zuko repeats, this time with conviction. “I’m not going to force you to do anything against your will.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I agreed though” Mai says mechanically. “I said I would obey.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko’s hand flies away from her skin as if it had burned him.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m not… I won’t <i>order</i> you to do anything,” Zuko says indignantly.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Why not? You’re my husband now.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I told you, I’m not a monster.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“This is what noblemen do to their wives.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well, it’s not what <i>I</i> do.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh,” Mai says slowly. “Do you not… <i>prefer</i> women?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“What?” Zuko says, startled. “No! Nothing like that.” He scowls, looking as angry as ever. “Did you really think I would just force myself on you? That I just couldn’t help it?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Yes,” Mai admits. “My mother told me that any husband would take what was his.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko swears colorfully.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“You’re not a <i>thing</i> I <i>own</i>,” Zuko snarls. “And I’m not going to force you. Not ever.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“We’ll need an heir eventually.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I don’t care. You know my family — everyone is crazy. It might be for the best if our bloodline ends anyway.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai cannot hide her surprise any more. Zuko, however, is too busy glaring at the wall to notice.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Alright,” Mai says finally. “But someone will inspect the sheets in the morning. Azula wouldn’t shut up about it.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko frowns, but he looks more worried than angry.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“The sheets?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“For blood,” Mai clarifies, embarrassment washing over her. “To make sure we consummated our marriage.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko’s expression morphs into confusion.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“Oh, are you… is it your… womanly time?”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Mai goggles at him.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I’m not menstruating,” she says slowly. “But that’s not why there would be blood.”</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>Zuko looks affronted.</i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>“I would <i>never</i>…. even if you <i>wanted<i> to be with me, I would never hurt you.”</i></i></i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“It always hurts the first time,” Mai says with a shrug. “That’s what everyone says.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko shuffles uncomfortably.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I heard that, too,” he admits. “But, uh… I also heard it doesn’t have to. If you do it properly, I mean.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“What’s the ‘proper’ way?” Mai asks skeptically.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You know,” Zuko says, going red. “If the woman is, ah… <i>satisfied</i> first. And you’re gentle during. Then it shouldn’t hurt.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai can’t quite believe her ears. She had grown up in a sheltered environment and had admittedly not learned much about this topic. She had heard enough to learn that commoners enjoyed sex, but every euphemism the nobility used made it sound like a chore to be borne without complaint. It had not occurred to her that anyone would ever try to <i>satisfy</i> her. The room feels warm, much warmer than it has all evening. She is sure now that the rouge on her cheeks is entirely unnecessary.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“How… who told you that?” she stammers.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko looks, if possible, even more embarrassed.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“My uncle.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai suppresses a laugh.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Well, you did say he was unconventional.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko looks at her and gives another ghost of a smile. Mai feels gooseflesh rise up her arms at the sight. Suddenly, the idea of getting into bed is, while still terrifying, at least not entirely repugnant.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko’s face grows serious again as he frowns at the enormous bed.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“How much blood is it?” he asks. “You know, if it’s, uh… conventional.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“How should I know?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“No one ever told you?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“No,” she says, irritated. “How much was there when you slept with other women?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko goes red again.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I haven’t…”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>He trails off, looking embarrassed. Mai’s brow furrows.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You’ve never been with a woman?” she asks slightly incredulous. “But you’re…”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>She makes a vague gesture towards him. Zuko turns away.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I am without honor,” Zuko says darkly.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai rolls her eyes.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Who cares about honor? You’re a handsome prince, aren’t you?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko turns to look back at her, confused.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I’m not handsome.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai can feel herself flush and avoids his gaze.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“How would you know?” she says as evenly as she can. “There aren’t any mirrors in here.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>There is a long silence again. Neither of them look at each other.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“It’s probably just a few drops of blood, isn’t it?” Zuko says finally.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Probably,” she agrees, unsure of why he is so fixed upon this idea. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko walks over to the small wooden table next to the bed. He opens the drawer and removes something. Mai doesn’t have to see it to recognize the sound of a dagger being drawn from its sheath.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>She watches in astonishment as Zuko pulls back the thin blanket to expose the sheet. Taking careful aim with his dagger, he pricks the tip of his smallest finger and squeezes a few drops of blood onto the fabric below. Mai watches, mesmerized as it spreads, staining the silk red.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko pulls back to critique his work. He looks satisfied, and walks off to what Mai assumes is an adjacent washroom. There is the sound of splashing water, and Zuko returns, looking drawn.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I know we’re locked in here together,” he says wearily. “I can sleep on the chaise if you want.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai hesitates.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“It’s a big bed,” she says finally. “You must be as tired as I am.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko looks relieved.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Do you care which side…?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“No.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai takes a few steps towards the bed and freezes.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“What?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai rubs her face. She’s so frustrated with all of this nonsense, she could scream. She doesn’t, off course — she’s been trained better than that — but she lets out a small huff of irritation.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I can’t take off this nightgown by myself,” she says, anger and mortification stewing in her gut. “If any servant catches me wearing this tomorrow morning, they’ll know we didn’t…”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Her clothes are confining and tight. Calling it a ‘nightgown’ is a bit of a stretch — clearly, this is something meant to seduce, not to sleep. There is no way the fabric could be hoisted up to the right spot if they had tried to consummate their marriage. Their ruse would fail if Mai couldn’t get free.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko is quiet for a long moment.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I can help,” Zuko says quietly. “I won’t look.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai’s every nerve feels electrified as Zuko’s hands work slowly down her back. She guesses that his eyes really <i>are</i> closed, but it makes things worse. Because he cannot see where the next tie is, he has to slowly trace his fingers down along the undulating seam, crossing the plane of her back and the curve near her hip. When he gets low enough, she steps away.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I can do the rest,” she whispers.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko steps away and Mai quickly strips off the offending fabric. She slides into bed without a stitch on, unsure of what is happening inside of her. Terror and embarrassment are winning the fight, but there is something else lingering, too. The feel of Zuko’s hands against her back had not inspired fear at all. If anything, it had inspired curiosity. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>She wonders if Zuko’s uncle could be right, if there could be a way to consummate their union without pain. That wouldn’t be so bad. They could do what they were supposed to, and maybe… maybe it would even be nice.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Then, the idea of falling pregnant pops into her head, and she shudders. No, there would be no exploring that idea further for a while.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko mistakes her shiver for cold and looks stricken.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Oh, I guess they didn’t give you anything else, did they?” he asks. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai shakes her head, careful to keep the blanket pulled up to her chin. Zuko, who has yet to disrobe, strips off his tunic and hands it to her. Mai stares.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I know it’s not great,” Zuko says, looking embarrassed. “But I can’t go back into my chambers, either. They were walled off so we would be forced in here. This was laundered this morning, so it shouldn’t be too bad… Never mind, this was a bad idea. I’ll just —“</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai reaches out a lightning fast hand and snatches the tunic. Zuko’s mouth drops open and quickly snaps shut. He turns around stiffly and Mai hastily shoves the tunic over her head.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I’m decent.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko turns back and they stare at each other for a long moment. Faintly, Mai wonders what has captured his attention. Hers is drawn to the smooth plane of his chest. She had heard that Prince Zuko’s firebending was far beneath his prodigy sister, but he certainly kept in excellent physical condition. Again, Mai is struck by just how odd it is that the nobility deemed him such a poor prospect to marry. As far as Mai was concerned, Zuko was the picture of health. His physique was quite… stirring.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>At almost precisely the same time, they both seem to realize they have been caught staring. Zuko slides silently into bed, extinguishing the candles. Mai stares up at the ceiling. The bed <i>is</i> enormous. The stain of blood in the center of the bed is more than a foot away from each of them, and yet Mai cannot stop thinking about it.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>The day replays in her head at rapid speed, intercut with moments from the evening — Zuko with the dagger, Zuko serving her tea, Zuko stripping off his tunic. When she moves her head, she can smell him on the fabric of the shirt. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>A rather strange feeling comes over her. She wasn’t made of stone, despite what everyone thought. But she wasn’t as prone to flights of fancy as much as most women she knew — Ty Lee had had a new crush every other week, it had seemed. Mai was different. She could appreciate a handsome face or a fit body, but the feeling was clinical and detached. </i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Why, then, when she pictured Zuko before her could she feel a wetness between her legs? Why did her heart pound in her chest as the heady scent of his clothing washed over her?</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Mai?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai jerks, fearing for a moment that Zuko could read her thoughts. She turns to look at him. There is just enough moonlight to make out the profile of his face as he stares upwards.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Yes?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I’m sorry.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“For what?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“That you had to marry me,” he says. His voice sounds tight, like it wounds him to speak.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai, a thrill of fear shooting through her, extends her hand across the gap between them. She is enormously relieved that she finds his hand and not something else, although Zuko jumps as if she had stabbed him. After a moment, he relaxes, holding her hand uncertainly in his.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You don’t have to be sorry,” Mai says finally. “I could have run away.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“That’s not much of a choice,” Zuko points out.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Mai shrugs.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“I would have been fine. Better than married off to some old pervert who just wants a young wife to keep his household.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko waits a minute before he speaks again.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Why <i>didn’t</i> you run away?” he asks. “I might not be old, but this… this is worse than anything, Mai.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“No, it’s not.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You don’t understand,” Zuko says, his voice heating. “You’re trapped. My dishonor is yours now, too. You’re tainted by association.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“You haven’t spent much time with the nobility recently, have you?”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Zuko pauses.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“My father has not seen fit to give me duties that involve interacting with those of high rank,” Zuko says stiffly.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“So you don’t know,” Mai continues calmly, “that you are not the dishonorable one, Zuko. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the only person in world I could marry who wouldn’t ‘taint’ me. You’ve already proven it tonight.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>Her voice stays steady, but she curses the slight trembling in her hand. Zuko squeezes it tightly. She hears him heave several deep breaths.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Good night, Zuko,” she says finally.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>“Good night, Mai.”</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>
    <i>
      <i>
        <i>She pulls her hand back and curls away, adopting her usual sleeping position. Zuko’s tunic is too big for her, and the collar flops down towards her face. His scent fills her nose again, but there are no lustful thoughts this time. With each breath, she thinks of the feel of her hand in his until, finally, sleep comes for her.</i>
      </i>
    </i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Scrolls and Swords</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As usual, I'm going for the Super Long Chapters mode of content delivery and I make no apologies for it. Enjoy the brewing Maiko ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning is an exercise in patience, and Zuko has very little. Mai isn’t much more tolerant, but she’s better at hiding it. She knows what to say to the sniveling nobles who offer their insincere congratulations to the bride and groom.</p>
<p>Zuko and Mai are hustled out of their chamber just after dawn. Zuko is deeply annoyed — he had been going through his morning firebending exercises — but Mai is too tired to feel anything. The ladies in waiting usher her away to be washed, combed, and robed to meet her new in-laws for breakfast.</p>
<p>Zuko is dressed to perfection, but he looks as uncomfortable as Mai feels. The two of them are seated at a long table with Ozai and Azula. Tradition dictates that the happy couple should be front and center, but Ozai dominates, his chair lifted a foot above everyone else. Azula sits at his right hand, while Mai and Zuko are shunted off to a corner. A long line of well-wishers forms, but most of their time is spent bowing and praising Ozai. Mai and Zuko are an afterthought. People bring them goshugi-bukuro, but Mai can feel how thin the envelopes are. She doesn’t want their money, of course, but  the disrespect is clear. She and Zuko are not worth very much to these people. Princess Azula, on the other hand, is offered trinkets and well-wishes. Her pile of gifts is much higher than Mai and Zuko’s.</p>
<p>“You’re the bride,” Zuko mutters angrily under his breath. “They shouldn’t treat you like this.”</p>
<p>“You mean <i>us</i>,” Mai says dully. “We’re a unit now.”</p>
<p>“They always treat me like this,” Zuko fumes. “But they can’t do this to you.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s indignation on her behalf makes her heart twist. Her exterior, however, remains politely neutral.</p>
<p>“They can and they will,” she says evenly. “Ignore them.”</p>
<p>Zuko, however, seems incapable of doing so. She wonders how he has managed to survive seven years of these indignities if this was his reaction every time.</p>
<p>By the time the sun has reached its midpoint in the sky, even Ozai has had enough flattery for the day. He sweeps off without a word. Mai and Zuko, still seated, bow so low their foreheads touch the ground. When he is gone, they sit back up, only to face Azula’s cruel smile. Mai braces herself, and she feels Zuko do the same behind her.</p>
<p>“Mai, isn’t it wonderful? We’re <i>sisters</i> now,” Azula says sarcastically. “Although you did get the short end of this deal, I must say. I suppose your mother was worried you’d go join Ty Lee. Where do you think she is?”</p>
<p>“She joined a circus,” Mai says flatly, knowing full well that Azula is already informed of this.</p>
<p>To Mai’s surprise, Azula frowns.</p>
<p>“That <i>is</i> what she said,” Azula says slowly. “Only I can’t find any trace of her, not with any circus in the Fire Nation or Earth Kingdoms. And she’s not stupid enough to look for work with the Water Tribes — they’d eat her alive.”</p>
<p>This is news to Mai. She does her best to keep the bored expression on her face. Azula’s smirk returns when she sets her sights on the small pile of envelopes before them.</p>
<p>“Looks like people weren’t feeling generous today,” she mocks. “But don’t worry, I have a gift for you.”</p>
<p>Mai runs through every possible way to turn it down, but none feels safe. She and Zuko must sit and take whatever humiliation is about to happen.</p>
<p>“Here,” Azula says, handing them a large scroll. “To help you regain your honor,” she adds in a sneer to Zuko.</p>
<p>Zuko gingerly opens the scroll and quickly snaps it shut, looking furious. Mai gives him an inquiring look, but he shoves the scroll deep into his pocket before she can get a good look.</p>
<p>“Well?” Azula asks expectantly. “Aren’t you going to thank me for my gift?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks too angry to speak. Mai decides to take the easy way out.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Fire Princess Azula,” Mai says, bowing low. “I hope that you might grant us leave. We have many letters to write to thank people for these generous gifts.”</p>
<p>Azula looks positively bursting to make fun of her, especially given how red Zuko is turning, but Mai yields no reaction. This is the only way to take the wind out of Azula’s sails. Mai will pay for it later — there will be some other way Azula will humiliate her — but perhaps she can spare Zuko some of the worst of it. It seems things have been worse for him these past few years than Mai had realized.</p>
<p>“Very well,” Azula sighs, annoyed. “Leave.”</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko rise quickly, and a servant swoops in to gather the envelopes. Mai nudges Zuko so he extends his arm as is expected — he really doesn’t seem to know how high society is supposed to operate at all — and he escorts her back to their shared chambers. Mai should comment idly on who they will write to first in case there are any eavesdropping servants, but she just wants to focus on getting back to their rooms as soon as possible.</p>
<p>The moment the doors close behind them, Zuko grabs the scroll from his robes and throws it angrily on the bed.</p>
<p>“I’m going to train,” he says tightly.</p>
<p>“Swords or fire?” she asks.</p>
<p>Zuko’s expression shifts.</p>
<p>“I was going to firebend.”</p>
<p>“I’ll come with you,” Mai says evenly. “I can spend some time in the weapons room.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t think…” Zuko hesitates. “Do you really still use knives?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do,” Mai says, arching a brow. “Why wouldn’t I?”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t think it was something your mother would approve of.”</p>
<p>“She doesn’t.”</p>
<p>“But you still do it?”</p>
<p>“I like it. I don’t care what she thinks of it.”</p>
<p>Zuko ponders this for a moment.</p>
<p>“I’ll train with you,” he says decisively. “I could use some time with my dao swords.”</p>
<p>It rests unspoken between them just how Mai came to the art of the blade. When she was a girl and her parents were still climbing up the social ladder, she had spent a lot of time in the Royal Palace with Azula. She had been told by her parents that she was to do whatever the Fire Princess wanted, which was how Mai had ended up learning all the best hiding spots in the palace. Azula pretended it was a game of hide and seek, but for Mai, it was the only way to seek refuge. If she was alone, finally her thoughts were her own.</p>
<p>She had found a thirteen year-old Zuko slashing a sword around the weapons room, oblivious to his surroundings. Or rather, he seemed to be imagining things Mai could not see: great dragons to slay, enemies of the Fire Nation to subdue. She watched him and admired how freely he laughed, how he boasted to his imaginary enemies that he, Zuko, Prince of the Fire Nation, would win this fight.</p>
<p>He had spotted her after a while and his wrath was immediate.</p>
<p>“Were you spying on me?” he shouted, indignant.</p>
<p>“No,” Mai lied.</p>
<p>“Then what are you doing here? You’re not allowed!”</p>
<p>“I’m hiding from Azula.”</p>
<p>Zuko had lowered his blade.</p>
<p>“Oh. I guess you can stay if you want. Here,” he said, handing her a dagger. “These are easier to hold. Your arms will get really tired if you try a sword on your first day.”</p>
<p>Mai tossed the dagger without thinking and it had sailed straight into a tapestry on the wall. She had been horrified, but Zuko burst into laughter.</p>
<p>“You hit that ostrich horse in the butt!” he yelled, delighted.</p>
<p>Indeed, Mai’s dagger had pierced the woven animal in a most amusing position. Even she giggled, albeit nervously. Zuko had pulled out the dagger and handed it back to her.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about the tapestry,” he said. “No one comes in here. They won’t notice. But the actual target for practice is over there.”</p>
<p>Mai had thrown her dagger until it felt like her arm was going to fall off. She had liked it: the sound of the metal swishing through the air, the sharp noise it made when it sank into the target. Zuko had let her keep the dagger, promising they would practice again.</p>
<p>They never did. Two weeks later, Mai’s father was given the governorship in Omashu and Mai had not set foot in the Royal Palace since.</p>
<p>Now they enter the weapons room together for the first time in seven years. She paces around the room, noting it looks a bit dingier than before.</p>
<p>“I’m still the only one who uses it," Zuko says. “It’s not in great shape, but no one will ever bother you here.”</p>
<p>“That’s nice,” Mai says. Even though her tone is neutral, she really does mean it.</p>
<p>Without speaking, they each go through their own routines. Mai stops to watch Zuko with his swords for a moment, noting that his motions are more precise, more deadly than they had been years ago. She feels Zuko’s eyes on her, too, when she starts target practice. She doesn’t bother with the soft target. Instead, she goes over to the same tapestry and, from a dozen paces, strikes a blade into the rear end of every single ostrich horse depicted.</p>
<p>Zuko wanders over to admire her handiwork. He turns to her and smiles. It is not a faint smile, or a half smile; this is full and bright and makes Mai feel suddenly off-kilter.</p>
<p>“You’re good,” he says.</p>
<p>“You sounds surprised.”</p>
<p>“I guess I’m surprised you kept it up,” he admits. “But I’m not surprised you’re good. I remember you getting the tapestry the first time.”</p>
<p>“That was an accident.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but then you did target practice for two hours after. That kind of focus isn’t an accident.”</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko make their way back to their rooms. Mai entertains a brief fantasy that perhaps married life won’t be so bad. Sure, breakfast had been terrible, but they wouldn’t receive gifts forever. They would just have to sit through some awkward meals and then they could practice swordsmanship together. That was nice. She could get used to that.</p>
<p>The good mood evaporates when they return to their chambers. They are greeted by annoyed servants who prepare them for yet another audience with the Fire Lord and the court. Mai is aggressively shoved into a complicated cocoon of fabric before she and Zuko are paraded out again. It’s just as awful as breakfast, only now it lasts even longer. There is a feast and dancing, but Mai and Zuko are trapped at their place of ‘honor,’ receiving half-hearted well-wishes. Mai doesn’t particularly like dancing, but for the first time, she wishes she could be out on the floor, avoiding all of these boring conversations. From the way Zuko glances out into the crowd, she thinks he feels the same.</p>
<p>At least this evening, her servants dispense with the need to dress her in another seductive ensemble. Instead, she is given a soft, thin robe. She walks into the chamber, which is well-lit with torches this evening — less romantic, but easier to see her way around — and realizes too late that her robe is a trap.</p>
<p>Zuko, who is dressed in a simple red tunic and soft-looking trousers, takes one look at her and goes beet red. Mai, confused, looks down and is mortified to find that the softness of the robe comes with a disastrous side effect: under the bright lights, it is very, very sheer.</p>
<p>She whirls around before realizing that now a different part of her is on display.</p>
<p>“Lower the lights,” she croaks.</p>
<p>“Uh…”</p>
<p>“I’m not trying to seduce you,” she says, feeling more embarrassed than she ever has before. “I didn’t know this robe was see-through. If you turn down the lights…”</p>
<p>“I won’t see through it,” Zuko finishes, sounding relieved. “Okay.”</p>
<p>The torches go out. There are only a few candles remaining, but a quick check shows that Mai’s modesty is now preserved.</p>
<p>“What is the point,” Mai grumbles, “of see-through clothing?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Zuko agrees. “They didn’t tell you it was see-through?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Zuko makes a sound of disapproval.</p>
<p>“Figures.”</p>
<p>“Should we just go to bed?” Mai asks.</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>Mai goes to adjust the blanket and Azula’s gift rolls towards her. Mai picks it up and starts to unfurl it. Too late, Zuko notices her movements.</p>
<p>“Don’t!”</p>
<p>He reaches a hand out, but Mai easily bats it away. Her eyes widen as she takes in the scroll.</p>
<p>“What is this?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Some sort of prank,” Zuko says, trying again to grab at the scroll. </p>
<p>Mai refuses to give it to him. Instead, she unfurls it further, her eyes roving down.</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t read it,” Zuko says tightly. “She was trying to insult us. You know, about…”</p>
<p>He doesn’t need to finish his sentence. Along with the charade of well-wishes today had come several cruel compliments to Zuko. It seemed that word of the consummation of their marriage had made the rounds. It was the only thing Ozai had remarked upon seeing them that morning before guests were let in.</p>
<p>“I heard you did your duty last night,” Ozai had said in a low tone to Zuko, still loud enough for Mai to hear. “I am pleased to hear it. It is best to subdue a woman on the first night. She will learn not to resist that way.”</p>
<p>Zuko had gone green. Ozai shifted his gaze to Mai and gave a smile that was nothing but teeth. She trembled to think what his poor wife had gone through, and she imagined that Zuko was thinking the same thing. She had held his hand for a bit under the table when Ozai wasn’t looking.</p>
<p>Now, Mai peruses the scroll Azula had given them and she can see why Zuko assumes it is an insult. It <i>is</i> an insult, but it is also an opportunity.</p>
<p>“I’ve heard of these scrolls before,” she says idly, flipping the scroll open on the bed. “But I’ve never seen one."</p>
<p>Zuko gives a groan of frustration. Mai ignores him. </p>
<p>“You shouldn’t read it,” he chokes out.</p>
<p>“Have you read it before?”</p>
<p>“…No.”</p>
<p>“Is there one in the Royal Library?”</p>
<p>“Why would there be one in the library? It’s some sort of… sex manual, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“I think so,” Mai agrees. “It seems pretty instructive.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks scandalized. Mai rolls her eyes.</p>
<p>“Azula is obviously trying to get a rise out of you,” Mai points out. “The only way to beat her at her own game is not to play it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, so you shouldn’t read it!”</p>
<p>“No,” Mai shakes her head. “Do you think Azula has read this?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Zuko admits. “She probably just got it to embarrass us.”</p>
<p>“So she doesn’t know what’s in it. But now we do.”</p>
<p>Zuko still looks lost. Mai sits up, careful that her robe stay tightly closed. On top of being sheer, it’s rather slippery. She curses the servant who helped her into it.</p>
<p>“Look, Azula wants us to get all bent out of shape over this,” Mai explains. “Unlike your father, I doubt she buys the idea that you… I don’t know, <i>had your way with me</i> last night. She assumes that we’re both too embarrassed to talk about… sex.”</p>
<p>Zuko raises an eyebrow at her hesitation to say the last word.</p>
<p>“If we want to beat her,” Mai hurries on, “we have to make <i>her</i> embarrassed.”</p>
<p>“Azula is never embarrassed.”</p>
<p>“She is about this stuff,” Mai says, holding up the scroll. “Ty Lee always wrote to me about boys and girls she thought were cute. I mentioned it once in a letter to Azula and she was really prudish about it. She told me she <i>didn’t talk about that smut</i> with people. And it was just stuff about kissing. It was hardly…this.”</p>
<p>Mai gestures down to an illustration of a man with his face buried between a woman’s legs. Both Mai and Zuko go pink, but Zuko looks more determined to listen to her now.</p>
<p>“Okay, so Azula is squeamish about this stuff. So we have to be… not squeamish?”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p>“I am <i>not</i> going around telling lewd stories,” Zuko insists. “I’m not talking about you like that. We haven’t even…”</p>
<p>They both go pink again as he trails off. Mai gathers her wits first.</p>
<p>“Look, everything in this… guide, I guess, has a funny name. We just have to invent some stuff. She’ll have no idea what it is, but she’ll hate it. And when she figures out it was all nonsense, she’ll be doubly embarrassed.”</p>
<p>“She’ll get really angry,” Zuko points out.</p>
<p>“Yes, but in order to get revenge, she’d have to admit she didn’t know what we were talking about.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing Azula hates more than not knowing something,” Zuko says, his eyes blazing. “Mai, that’s a really good plan. Well, except for the fact that she’ll probably do something even nastier to us when she finds out.”</p>
<p>“She’ll do a bunch of terrible stuff in the meantime anyway,” Mai shrugs. “This way we get to have some fun.”</p>
<p>“How are you friends with her?” Zuko asks in disbelief.</p>
<p>“‘Friends’ is a strong word,” Mai says, but she can’t hide the hint of sadness in her voice. “I guess we were friends when we were kids. But my parents told me to do whatever Azula wanted to make her happy, and now that’s how our whole friendship works. We’re sort of… stuck.”</p>
<p>Zuko sighs.</p>
<p>“I get it.”</p>
<p>Mai nods. They sit in silence, looking down at their hands. Finally, they both look back to the scroll.</p>
<p>“So, uh,” Zuko says awkwardly. “Should we actually read it?”</p>
<p>“I guess we could read part of it,” Mai says slowly. “You know, just to have enough information to mess with Azula.”</p>
<p>“Right.”</p>
<p>They arrange the scroll in the center of the bed. Zuko lights the torches on either side just enough to see, but not enough for Mai’s robe to lose its opacity. They each lie on their stomachs and start to read.</p>
<p>Mai quickly realizes this is a deeply flawed plan. For one thing, the sash of her robe is caught between her legs, and it presses against her as she lies on the bed. The pressure becomes more and more distracting as she reads. The opening passage is alright — just something cheesy about the union of spirits — but quickly words like <i>pleasure</i>, <i>release</i>, and <i>ecstasy</i> fill the page. Mai tries not to fidget and focus on the words, but soon there are images that join the text. These are even more distracting. She glances at them obliquely — she doesn’t want to be caught openly staring — but she wants to take a closer look, too. What <i>did</i> a manhood look up close? And those two figures lower down, what were the man’s hands doing? Were the looks of wanton pleasure on the figure’s faces <i>really</i> what they would look like in real life?</p>
<p>Finally, Mai reaches her breaking point. Abruptly, she rolls over and yanks up the sheet.</p>
<p>“I’m going to bed.”</p>
<p>Zuko says nothing, but the torches are extinguished almost immediately. She hears him move toward the washroom — his gait sounds a little less sure in the dark — and she is tempted to try to relieve the pressure she feels. Anxiety holds her back, however, as she is sure Zuko will return at any moment. She can’t have him find her face down on the bed imitating some of the earlier drawings in the scroll.</p>
<p>Zuko takes a long time to return, and his feet seem surer now. He settles on the other side, and soon his breaths are deep and even. Despite her exhaustion, sleep evades her for a long time yet. She has a lot of new information to think about.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day is much of the same: another interminable breakfast and even longer feast. However, both of these events are held not to honor the new couple, but the Fire Lord himself. This means that Mai and Zuko are mercifully out of the spotlight. This is intended as an insult, of course, but Mai is relieved to be left alone.</p>
<p>The feast includes dancing. After a few songs, Mai tugs sharply on Zuko’s sleeve.</p>
<p>“Ask me to dance,” she says under her breath.</p>
<p>Zuko frowns.</p>
<p>“I hate dancing.”</p>
<p>“You have to ask me,” she insists.</p>
<p>“Is this some sort of etiquette thing?” Zuko questions her. “Because I don’t think anyone cares. They know this was arranged. No one expects me to —“</p>
<p>“If you don’t ask me,” Mai hisses, “those old men are going to ask me instead, and everyone will talk. Don’t make me dance with a pervert.”</p>
<p>She eyes the looming noblemen. One of them breaks away from the group, his trajectory set straight for Mai. Zuko grabs Mai around the waist and pulls her out onto the floor.</p>
<p>Zuko is not very practiced, but his dancing is passable. There is no flair or creativity, but Mai is grateful. She doesn’t have to watch where she puts her feet with Zuko’s predictable pattern.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Zuko asks, frowning at her. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”</p>
<p>“You were supposed to ask me,” Mai says, glaring over his shoulder. “Not drag me onto the dance floor like a barbarian.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Zuko says, looking chastised. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>Mai says nothing. They continue to make a slow and steady path around the dance floor. When the song ends, Mai expects Zuko to release her, but he holds tight.</p>
<p>“Another?” he asks.</p>
<p>“I thought you hated dancing,” she says, eyebrow arched in question.</p>
<p>“I don’t like the way Councilman Fu is looking at you,” Zuko glowers.</p>
<p>Mai barely resists rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”</p>
<p>“I’m not!” Zuko says hotly. “He’s like a thousand years old. I’m just trying to protect you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need protecting.”</p>
<p>“It didn’t seem that way a moment ago when you were insisting I ask you to dance.”</p>
<p>“You <i>didn’t</i> ask me to dance.”</p>
<p>“Fine, I guess you don’t need me.”</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>They glare at each other, but neither one lets go. They have nowhere else to go anyway.</p>
<p>They stay on the dance floor all evening. True etiquette dictates that they both should dance with others — more than one political deal had been made on parquet before — but as newlyweds, they are given a pass. Mai can hear a few noblewomen tittering as Zuko spins her around the floor. She’s not sure if they are mocking them or cooing over how sweet they are together. Mai isn’t sure which would be worse.</p>
<p>Finally, they are interrupted by one of only two people in the room with the authority to do so. Azula stomps over to them, the crowd parting before her. Mai nudges Zuko to keep dancing, albeit in a small circle in front of Azula.</p>
<p>“It seems you two can’t keep your hands off each other this evening,” Azula says, her voice sickly sweet.</p>
<p>Azula is going in for the kill; Mai must strike first. She locks eyes with Zuko, trying to will him to stay focused on her. He looks slightly alarmed at the sudden intensity of her gaze, but he stares back at her.</p>
<p>“Azula, we must thank you for your wonderful wedding present,” Mai says in a casual voice. She keeps her attention entirely on Zuko, which she knows will drive Azula crazy. Zuko’s eyes widen at her words, but they don’t leave hers.</p>
<p>“You read it?” Azula says, sounding annoyed that Mai isn’t more rattled.</p>
<p>“Oh no,” Mai lies. “But Zuko did a very good job conveying the information it contained. He was very thorough”</p>
<p>Azula sputters. Zuko’s golden eyes flash, and Mai feels a thrill of unexpected excitement. She had wanted to beat Azula, but the look Zuko is giving her is not like any victory she has felt before.</p>
<p>“No one wants to hear about that, Mai!” Azula hisses.</p>
<p>“I suppose not,” Mai sighs. “If only this feast would end soon. There were so many more ideas…”</p>
<p>Azula lets out a sound of utter disgust. She spins on her heel and storms away. Zuko and Mai keep dancing. The people around them give them curious looks, but Mai keeps her face placid. Zuko seems to be struggling to follow her lead, but he only breaks when the song ends. They bow to each other and resume the same position as before. This time, Zuko’s expression is awed.</p>
<p>“That was amazing,” he tells her. “The look on your face…”</p>
<p>Mai grants him a hint of a smile. Zuko’s eyes go soft.</p>
<p>“You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you smile before,” he says quietly.</p>
<p>Mai looks away, feeling herself go red.</p>
<p>“Don’t get used to it,” she warns.</p>
<p>She sneaks a glance at him. Zuko is smiling absentminded	ly. She’s never seen him look like that, either. It does funny things to her insides.</p>
<p>The feast ends shortly after. At first, Mai assumes that Azula had thrown a fit to try to stop Mai and Zuko from enjoying themselves, but she is surprised to find that it is, in fact, quite late in the evening. She returns to the room she now associates with the swarming hive of handmaidens who dress and undress her. This time, she puts her foot down.</p>
<p>“I’m not wearing that,” she insists as a petite woman bustles over with a frilly gown. There appear to be an awful lot of straps on it — Mai doesn’t want to think about how awkward it would be to take off.</p>
<p>“My lady,” the woman insists. “It is out duty to prepare you —“</p>
<p>“I’m prepared,” Mai says dully. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”</p>
<p>She pushes through the ladies, who let out squawks of indignation. Deep in the closet of ridiculous clothes they have set aside for her week of wedding festivities are her plain, normal clothes. The servants try to bat them out of her hands but Mai’s hidden daggers were not discovered. She pops out a trio of knives hidden in a fold of her loose pants and holds them up. The women swiftly back away, and Mai is able to shove her trousers and long over-dress without interruption. She gives a little sigh of happiness to have her loose sleeves back, even if she doesn’t have her usual arsenal with her.</p>
<p>“My lady,” the bossiest servant says. “You cannot see your new husband dressed like that. You must wear something to entice him.”</p>
<p>“What does it matter?” Mai asks in a bored tone. “Whatever you make me wear is just supposed to end up on the floor anyway.”</p>
<p>The ladies exchange nervous looks. The head servant sighs.</p>
<p>“Fine,” she says, shepherding Mai towards the door. “His Royal Highness, Prince Zuko, could hardly take his eyes off you all night. I suppose wearing this <i>unflattering</i> outfit won’t dull his opinion of you.”</p>
<p>Mai is very glad it is dark in the hallway. She is is sure her face is very red.</p>
<p>She has her emotions back under control soon enough. She slinks into the chamber to find Zuko pointedly staring at the wall.</p>
<p>“I’m not wearing anything ridiculous,” she says, sliding onto the chaise.</p>
<p>Zuko turns to look at her. He gives her a bemused look.</p>
<p>“How much did you have to threaten your ladies in waiting to let you wear that?”</p>
<p>Mai holds up her daggers. Zuko laughs. Mai fidgets in annoyance — she really shouldn’t be so pleased to hear him laugh. It wasn’t a big deal. Lots of people laughed every day, and it usually annoyed her.</p>
<p>But she is not annoyed by the way Zuko looks at her now. For the first time, he doesn’t seem nervous or angry to have been shoved into this room with her. On the contrary, he looks rather relaxed.</p>
<p>“My uncle is back,” Zuko says. “He brought us some scrolls. Regular ones,” he adds quickly. </p>
<p>Mai crosses the room to Zuko. The scrolls in question are beautiful — the parchment glimmers with myriad colors of ink. Zuko rubs the back of his head.</p>
<p>“They’re mostly plays,” he says. “My mother… she liked them.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never heard of them,” Mai says with a shrug. “My parents never liked theater. Which one should I read first?”</p>
<p>Zuko carefully inspects the scrolls, deciding on one decorated with a scale-like appearance.</p>
<p>“This one.”</p>
<p>Mai takes her scroll over to bed and settles down on her side. She looks back at Zuko.</p>
<p>“Well?” she asks.</p>
<p>Zuko hesitates for a moment, but eventually joins her. He sits carefully, as if waiting for her to send him away, but Mai is busy unfurling her scroll to read.</p>
<p><i>Love Amongst the Dragons</i>.</p>
<p>She actually has heard of this one before, but she isn’t familiar with the story. Her education had not emphasized the great arts of the Fire Nation; these were considered less important than memorizing the long list of military victories of the past one hundred years.</p>
<p>The story takes her immediately. It’s the sort of thing Ty Lee would like — star crossed lovers, clandestine meetings, passionate declarations of love — but Mai enjoys it, too. The evening passes quickly and soon Zuko is yawning.</p>
<p>“Oh,” Mai says, realizing the late hour. “We can go to sleep now.”</p>
<p>“What part are you reading?” he asks sleepily.</p>
<p>“Noren is about to fight the Dark Water Spirit.”</p>
<p>“That’s the best part,” Zuko says with a faint smile. “You should keep reading.”</p>
<p>“You’re tired,” Mai points out. “And I can’t turn off these giant torches without you.”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs, pulling the blanket over him.</p>
<p>“Just wake me up. I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>He rolls over. Mai toys with the idea of just going to bed, but in the end the story is too enticing. She loses herself in the dramatic battle. The final twist reveals itself just as Mai’s eyes start to burn with sleep.</p>
<p>She sets the scroll aside, satisfied with the ending, and turns to wake Zuko. He has rolled onto his back and is twitching slightly. Mai watches him, a sense of foreboding mounting. His twitches turn into jerks, and he starts to mutter.</p>
<p>“No, please,” he rasps. “I’m sorry…. Stop. Don’t… don’t!”</p>
<p>Mai wants to shake him awake, but his arm thrashes wildly and almost hits her. She shrinks back, unsure of what to do. Zuko’s words turn to yelling, and he bolts upright with a shout.</p>
<p>The silence in the room is punctuated by Zuko’s ragged and uneven breathing. After a moment, he turns to look at her. He seems disoriented and surprised to see her on the edge of the bed. He blinks and then his face crumples. He turns away, shoulders raised defensively. Mai waits for a long time before she speaks.</p>
<p>“I finished the story,” Mai says quietly. “You were right. It was really good.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s head turns, although his posture remains hunched.</p>
<p>“You liked it?” he asks in a hoarse voice.</p>
<p>“Yes. Very much.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks away again. Mai wishes she could see the expression on his face. She’s no good at this comfort stuff. When Tom-Tom had nightmares, Mai would read to him or tell him a story to distract him. She’s not sure that will work on a grown man, but it seems safer than patting Zuko on the back.</p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Zuko says quietly. “It was my mother’s favorite.”</p>
<p>“She had good taste.”</p>
<p>Zuko finally rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he says tersely.</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>Zuko shoots her an angry look. Mai raises her eyebrows, unimpressed.</p>
<p>“You know why,” he says finally.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t.”</p>
<p>“Stop it.”</p>
<p>“Stop what?”</p>
<p>“You’re mocking me.”</p>
<p>Mai’s eyebrows rise even higher.</p>
<p>“What on Earth would I be mocking you for?”</p>
<p>“For being weak!” Zuko shouts, throwing up his hands. “I can’t even control myself when I’m asleep!”</p>
<p>“No one can,” Mai says, unimpressed with Zuko’s anger. “Everyone has nightmares.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see <i>you</i> flailing around and screaming,” he mutters darkly.</p>
<p>“No,” Mai shrugs. “But I haven’t been through what you’ve been through.”</p>
<p>“I should be able to control it,” Zuko sighs.</p>
<p>Mai sighs and leans back onto the bed.</p>
<p>“Do you know how many times a day I’m told what I <i>should</i> do? Who I <i>should</i> be, what I <i>should</i> say?”</p>
<p>Zuko shoots her a curious glance.</p>
<p>“It’s all bullshit,” Mai says, an edge to her voice. “‘Should’ is a word that was invented just to control people. There’s nothing you <i>should</i> do. There’s what you do and what you don’t do. That’s it.”</p>
<p>Zuko is silent for a long time.</p>
<p>“You’re wrong,” he says finally. “Not what you just said,” he hastens to add when Mai frowns. “But before. You said you hadn’t been through what I’ve been through. That’s true in a lot of ways, but I think… I think maybe you had it worse than me.”</p>
<p>“Yes, a privileged life in Omashu,” Mai says sarcastically. “Poor little rich girl.”</p>
<p>“But you never got to be yourself,” Zuko argues. “You always had to be who your parents wanted you to be. I know what that feels like. It’s…”</p>
<p>Zuko can’t seem to find the right words to describe it, so Mai fills the gap.</p>
<p>“It sucks.”</p>
<p>Zuko snorts.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that sums it up,” he agrees.</p>
<p>The two of them lie silent, listening to the faint crackling of the torches.</p>
<p>“We should go to sleep,” Mai says finally.</p>
<p>“Mai,” Zuko says suddenly. “If… If I ever… you know, uh, have a bad night…”</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Mai says quietly.</p>
<p>She can tell Zuko is on the verge of saying something else, but instead he waves his arms and the flames vanish. They each roll away from each other and wait for dreams to take them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, Zuko is the one to wake her up.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he apologizes. “But if you want to avoid Azula and my father, we have to go now.”</p>
<p>Mai sits up, her hands flying to her hair to prepare her usual buns.</p>
<p>“Where are we going?” she asks, hoping the answer will be the weapons room.</p>
<p>“My uncle invited us for breakfast,” Zuko replies. “I figure if we join him, we can get out of breakfast with the rest of my family.”</p>
<p>Mai supposes she owes Iroh her thanks for giving them the only decent, non-prank wedding present they have. She quickly adjusts her clothing and hair. Zuko is dressed more plainly than she has seen him thus far, and looks much more at ease. Mai can’t tell if it’s the absence of his royal regalia or the promise of seeing his uncle that has him looking relaxed, but she’s relieved to see it nonetheless.</p>
<p>“You said last night that your uncle had been away,” Mai says as they cross towards the western wing of the palace.</p>
<p>“Yes, Uncle has been serving as a cultural representative of the Fire Nation by Fire Lord Ozai’s decree,” Zuko explains. “My father frequently sends him to the colonies.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Mai frowns. </p>
<p>This sounds like a rather weak role for the Dragon of the West. Mai guesses that Ozai had not wanted to share the spotlight with his brother. Iroh may have abdicated the throne, but Mai knew that the nobility still respected him. The rumors were that he had softened in his old age — a sign of weakness, of course — but Mai thought it was a mistake for Ozai to send Iroh away. <i>Keep your enemies close</i> was always Azula’s favorite mantra. Mai wondered if sending Iroh around as the face of the Fire Nation might not be a mistake on Ozai’s part.</p>
<p>“Uncle regrets that he couldn’t come to our wedding,” Zuko says, sounding distant. “But my father said his trip was essential.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure it was,” Mai says doubtfully.</p>
<p>Zuko gives her a sharp look, but Mai doesn’t elaborate. She would bet all the gold in the royal coffers that Ozai had taken great pleasure in preventing the one person who had shown Zuko any kindness from attending one of the biggest days of his life.</p>
<p>Iroh is waiting for them at a low table, several dishes of succulent summer fruits set out before him. He rises to greet his nephew, clapping him on the shoulder.</p>
<p>“Prince Zuko,” he says warmly. “It gives me great joy to see you again.”</p>
<p>“Hello, Uncle,” Zuko says looking both embarrassed and pleased.</p>
<p>“And this must be Lady Mai,” Iroh says, turning to her with a wide smile. “It is an honor to meet you.”</p>
<p>He gives a bow, which Mai returns.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the scrolls, General Iroh,” Mai says in the smooth, flat voice she uses when speaking to nobility. “They are a beautiful and generous gift.”</p>
<p>“Please,” Iroh says with a smile. “Call me Iroh.”</p>
<p>Mai bows again. Iroh seems amused by her politeness.</p>
<p>“You are very well-mannered, Lady Mai,” Iroh nods. “But I have been a poor host thus far. Please, sit. Let me serve the happy couple.”</p>
<p>The word ‘happy’ makes Mai’s insides squirm, but she lowers herself gracefully next to Zuko. She can tell by the way Zuko holds himself that tea with his uncle is a frequent occurrence. The two of them seem to have a routine: Iroh slowly warms the water for tea while Zuko divides up the food. She notices the large portion of papaya on Zuko’s plate and the surplus of melon on Iroh’s. Zuko looks at her uncomfortably as he holds the fruit. Mai tilts her head towards the mango and, looking relieved, Zuko piles some onto her plate.</p>
<p>Iroh seems satisfied with the temperature of his teapot, but he pauses before serving.</p>
<p>“Please allow me to present you with another gift,” Iroh says, reaching behind him.</p>
<p>“It’s tea, isn’t it?” Zuko groans. “Uncle is <i>obsessed</i> with tea,” he adds to Mai’s amusement.</p>
<p>“It is a very special tea,” Iroh says, ignoring Zuko’s eye roll. “I have one for each of you.”</p>
<p>“That is very kind of you,” Mai says politely.</p>
<p>Iroh presents each of them with a small chest. Mai opens hers and takes a curious sniff. It smells like the tea Zuko had offered her on their wedding night. She remembers Zuko telling her that it, too, had come from Iroh.</p>
<p>“Black lotus root,” Iroh explains, indicating Mai’s chest. “And red jasmine for you, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“Red jasmine?” Mai asks. “I thought jasmine was green.”</p>
<p>Iroh smiles, clearly eager to expound upon his favorite subject.</p>
<p>“You are correct, Lady Mai. Red jasmine is, in fact, not jasmine at all. I believe some clever tea merchants felt it needed re-branding,” he says with a wink.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko says, with a bow.</p>
<p>“Now, I know what you are thinking, Nephew,” Iroh says fondly. “But this tea is more than it seems. It is a forgotten gift of the Fire Nation, but it was once tradition to give these teas to newlywed couples.”</p>
<p>Both Mai and Zuko go slightly pink. Mai restrains herself from pushing the tea away. Was this supposed to be some sort of aphrodisiac? The thought makes her want to drown herself in the nearest pond.</p>
<p>“I am sure,” Iroh continues more seriously, “that your wedding ceremony held much talk of your future.”</p>
<p>“Uncle,” Zuko pleads weakly. “You don’t have to —“</p>
<p>“I know that children are a great blessing to most couples,” Iroh says over Zuko. “But I also know that young people such as yourselves deserve to decide when it is time to expand their family unit.”</p>
<p>Zuko and Mai exchange confused glances. </p>
<p>“I hope it is not too forward of me to say,” Iroh goes on. “But these teas are highly effective in preventing any, ah… <i>happy accidents</i>. The black lotus tea is most effective if taken once a day. The same time is best. The red jasmine is not as potent, but the best results are achieved if taken an hour before any… relations take place.”</p>
<p>Mai is sure she is blushing furiously, but for the first time since her wedding night, she feels an enormous weight lifted from her. Iroh is offering her a way out, one she is desperate to take.</p>
<p>She’s not so sure what her husband thinks of this. He, too, is quite red in the face, but he doesn’t look angry.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Uncle,” Zuko says finally.</p>
<p>Iroh beams at them.</p>
<p>“If you would allow me to serve you now,” he says happily, “I might teach you to prepare it.”</p>
<p>The embarrassment is excruciating, but Mai and Zuko sit patiently while Iroh slowly demonstrates the best technique. Mai’s tea in particular needs to be prepared carefully, but Iroh is sure to impress upon Zuko that, as a firebender, he should take care to prepare his wife’s tea as specified. Zuko stutteringly asks a clarifying question, and Mai can’t help but feel her spirits lift.</p>
<p>Once their tea is served, Mai and Zuko drink it quickly without further discussion. Iroh then fills their cups with a soothing ginger tea and they eat their breakfast. Mai discovers that Iroh, while somewhat elusive about the details of his official royal duties, is an excellent story teller and has a good sense of humor. He shares some stories of Zuko in his youth. Zuko looks annoyed as Mai represses her laughter.</p>
<p>Eventually, Iroh receives a missive that requires his attention and he bids them goodbye.</p>
<p>“A young couple has better things to do than spend time with an old man,” he says cheerily. “The gardens are beautiful this time of year,” he suggests to Mai.</p>
<p>Mai forgets herself and speaks without thinking.</p>
<p>“I thought perhaps we would go to the weapons room this morning.”</p>
<p>Iroh looks surprised, but it melts into a booming laugh.</p>
<p>“Lady Mai, I think you are exactly what my nephew needs,” he says, clapping another hand on Zuko’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“You can just call me Mai, General Iroh.”</p>
<p>“I will when you call me Iroh, Lady Mai.”</p>
<p>Mai knows better than to enter a politeness contest she cannot win.</p>
<p>“Very well, Iroh. Thank you again for the tea.”</p>
<p>“You are very welcome, my dear.”</p>
<p>Zuko and Mai bow and set off for their chambers holding their small chests of tea.</p>
<p>“I know my uncle is… strange,” Zuko starts.</p>
<p>“I like him,” Mai says simply. “He seems very proud of you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know why,” Zuko mutters under his breath.</p>
<p>Mai stops dead, waiting for Zuko to turn back to face her. He looks at her, confused.</p>
<p>“Your uncle,” she says calmly, although she feels a flash of anger building, “is proud of you because he knows what kind of person you are. He might pretend he is an old fool to the rest of the world, but he’s not. He’s smart, and he cares about you.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks stunned. Mai feels a bit surprised at the depth of her emotions. It’s unlike her to care so much.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Zuko says finally, looking a bit flummoxed. “Well, I’m glad you like him, I guess.”</p>
<p>Mai says nothing, but resumes walking at Zuko’s side. Zuko looks down at his chest of tea.</p>
<p>“You know, we don’t have to drink this if you don’t want.”</p>
<p>“I’m not having a baby,” Mai says fiercely.</p>
<p>“I meant,” Zuko rushes to add, “that we don’t need to use it. You know, since we haven’t…”</p>
<p>There is a long pause only broken by the sounds of their footsteps. Mai avoids looking at Zuko, holding her head high.</p>
<p>“It’s a good habit to drink it,” Mai says rationally.</p>
<p>Zuko stays quiet, but she notices that he carefully leaves his chest of tea out on the small table rather than hiding it away. She does the same, and they go off to the weapons room for a particularly vigorous training session. Mai has a lot of nervous energy to burn.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A New Environment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week after they are married, Zuko and Mai are moved out of their shared wedding chambers.</p><p>The move is intended, yet again, as an insult. Traditionally, the Crown Prince and his bride would be kept close to the heart of the palace, a symbol of the procession of the royal line. Instead, Mai and Zuko are given one of the small guest houses in the far western corner of the royal grounds. This is perfectly suitable for dignitaries of other nations, but there were many slights against Zuko with this choice. The dislocation from the main palace is obvious, but even the positioning of the house — facing west rather than east, where the sun’s power would rise — is intended to show him his inferiority. There aren’t even separate chambers for the two of them as there would be in the palace itself. There are only three rooms: a bedroom, a study, and a washroom.</p><p>Zuko fumes and paces around the small deck of their house. Mai, on the other hand, lounges on a chaise, quite pleased with her new surroundings. Certainly the house was smaller than expected, and the servants would come around only minimally to clean. But there was a nice cross breeze in the morning and evenings, and the gardens surrounding them were lush enough to block out most of the towering palace to the east.</p><p>“Calm down,” she tells Zuko after his tenth furious lap around the house.</p><p>Zuko whirls around.</p><p>“How can you be fine with this?” he shouts, throwing up his hands. “This whole house is a joke!”</p><p>“I like it,” she says with a shrug.</p><p>“You <i>like</i> it?” Zuko asks, incredulous.</p><p>“Yeah,” she says, twirling dagger absentmindedly. “We’re far enough away that no one is going to bother us.”</p><p>“They don’t think we’re worthy to live in the palace!”</p><p>“So? I don’t want to live there. Having to cross paths with Azula and Ozai all day?” Mai shudders. “Besides, now we’re closer to Iroh. It will be nice to visit him when he’s around.”</p><p>Zuko’s anger seems to deflate.</p><p>“You’re… happy here?”</p><p>“I guess,” she shrugs.</p><p>Zuko looks around the house as if seeing it for the first time. He turns around to inspect the gardens. A flock of multi-colored parrot finches explodes out of a hedge, their melodic calls filling the air. Zuko completes his circle and looks at Mai again, who is still twirling her dagger.</p><p>“I guess you’re right,” he says slowly. “It will be nice to see Uncle.”</p><p>“I suppose if you want to find faults with this place, it <i>is</i> much further from the weapons room,” she complains with a sigh.</p><p>Zuko looks thoughtful.</p><p>“There’s a flat space out back,” he says. “A patch of grass. It could make a good training ground if you wanted.”</p><p>Mai gives Zuko a small smile. He ducks his head and busies himself in preparing tea. </p><p>He has taken to brewing her black lotus every morning with painstaking attention to detail. She knows it’s done out of a sense of obligation rather than love of tea-craft. Mai starts to appreciate how much attention Zuko gives to things he believes to be his duty. She sees why being kept from fulfilling his service to the Fire Nation wounds him so deeply.</p><p>Mai finds that married life isn’t as miserable as she feared. For one thing, she is able to begin the day with her daggers, which helps get out the aggression she needs to keep locked away for the rest of the day. </p><p>They develop a routine. Zuko wakes first and goes through a simple firebending exercise while Mai slumbers. She awakens to the smell of black lotus tea and fresh mango, which she downs before going through her knife skills. Zuko usually joins her for this, the two of them pacing the small grassy patch outside their house while they wield their blades. </p><p>The rest of the day is spent apart: Zuko is summoned to endless, boring meetings and Mai must politely entertain the idle men and women of the high court. When they return to their home, both of them are irritated and snappish. They usually go through another round on their makeshift training grounds to burn through their anger. Zuko usually opts for firebending. Mai notices his fire, while less hot than Azula’s, is powerful and precise. He has clearly become a master, even if he doubts his abilities.</p><p>A servant brings them a simple dinner shortly after the sun sets. Again, this is intended to be an insult — neither of them are good enough for an audience with the Fire Lord and his various guests — but Mai finds it a huge relief. Most evenings, they don’t even bother bringing the trays of food inside. They eat out on the deck, watching luminous fireflies take flight around them. They can hear the distant conversations held in the palace — servants, guards, and members of the high court talking amongst themselves — but Mai and Zuko are alone in their silence. The bulk of her existence might be soul-crushingly dull, but she finds these evenings peaceful enough to forget the indignities of the day. </p><p>Zuko often goes back to his scrolls before bed. Mai, once she finishes the stories of Iroh has gifted them, starts to read Zuko’s scrolls as well. She is surprised to find that Zuko’s tasks aren’t as menial as she had assumed.</p><p>“Zuko…” she says slowly. “Are you really in charge of grain transport?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Mai frowns at the scroll. Zuko looks annoyed.</p><p>“What?” he demands.</p><p>“That’s a really important job.”</p><p>“You don’t think I can handle it?”</p><p>“Of course you can,” she replies. “But I thought your father wanted to keep you from doing anything important.”</p><p>“There’s no glory in grain transport,” Zuko points out. “I won’t regain my honor by reallocating rice.”</p><p>“But this is what a Fire Lord <i>does</i>, isn’t it? Making sure the people have food… what’s more important than that?”</p><p>“Making sure the army has food,” Zuko grumbles. “That’s the problem. The military needs so much, there’s never enough for everyone else. Then it’s my fault that there are shortages.”</p><p>Mai frowns and picks up another scroll. This one details the construction of a dam in the Fu-Yen valley.</p><p>“Are you also tasked with infrastructure?”</p><p>“Non-military related buildings, roads, and waterways, yes.”</p><p>“What exactly <i>is</i> your job?”</p><p>“Food supply management, civilian infrastructure, water cleanliness initiatives, healthcare access for colonists,” Zuko lists. “My father had me tasked with educational organization as well, but I messed that up and he took it away.”</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>“I wanted to reduce the military history section and expand the free firebending initiatives. I tried to sell it to my father — more firebenders to defend the homeland — but he accused me of trying to erase the glory of our nation, so I was taken off the project.”</p><p>Mai stares at Zuko. He rolls up a scroll with a forlorn expression, then catches sight of Mai’s face.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Zuko,” she says seriously, “you are more of a leader than your father will ever be.”</p><p>Zuko scowls.</p><p>“Don’t make fun of me.”</p><p>“Does it look like I’m joking?”</p><p>“No,” Zuko admits. “But you’re hard to read.”</p><p>“Well, I’m being serious,” Mai asserts. “You’re doing all the hardest jobs and getting none of the credit. The nation would fall apart with these things,” she says, indicating the scrolls. “Ozai only cares about is his own personal glory. All he does is scheme ways to crush other people when he should be lifting his nation up.”</p><p>“You should be careful,” Zuko rasps. “Some might call it treason to say such things.”</p><p>“Are you going to turn me in?”</p><p>Zuko stays silent. Mai sighs.</p><p>“I’m not saying this because I want you on the throne,” Mai tells him. “I’m saying it because someone needs to tell you you’re doing the right thing.”</p><p>The chirping of insects echoes in the warm night.</p><p>“I’m going to bed,” she says finally, rising from her chair.</p><p>Zuko shoots out a hand to grab her wrist. Mai looks down at him curiously. Slowly, his golden eyes fixed on hers, he rises. Mai’s breath catches at the look on his face.</p><p>Zuko makes the slightest motion towards her, as if testing whether she will flee. She remains still, enraptured by his gaze upon her. Zuko leans in and Mai, unconsciously, bends upwards towards him.</p><p>Zuko’s lips are softer than she expected. She can feel the rough shadow of stubble on his cheeks. His scent floods her senses, and she is reminded powerfully of their first night, of Zuko pricking his finger with the dagger. She presses against his lips more ardently. Zuko breathes in sharply.</p><p>She pulls away, afraid she has gone too far, but Zuko’s lips chase after hers. He kisses her without reservation, a hand lifting to cup the back of her head. Mai is unsure of what to do with her hands. Before she can decide on a course of action, Zuko releases her.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I —“ he starts.</p><p>“It was nice,” Mai says firmly, unable to meet his eyes.</p><p>They stand awkwardly for a moment.</p><p>“We should rest,” Zuko says finally. “Uncle asked us to have tea with him in the morning.”</p><p>Mai nods. Truthfully, she is not tired, but going to bed seems like the safest option. She’s not sure what to make of this new sensation inside of her. At least in the dark she can relive the moment, interrogating why she had kissed him.</p><p>After an hour of tossing and turning, she can only come to one conclusion: she had kissed him because she had wanted to, and she wanted to kiss him again.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>They do not speak of the kiss the following morning. They are perhaps a bit more subdued than usual, but they are perfectly polite to each other. Iroh beams at them happily; Mai wonders how this cheery old man could have once laid siege to Ba Sing Se for a hundred days.</p><p>They resume their usual routine — Zuko attending his meetings with overworked, low-ranking council members, and Mai playing hostess to the court. Azula stalks by every so often, throwing her a smug look. Mai ignores her. Honestly, she had expected worse from Azula. As it was, she only saw her every few days, usually when Azula made a point to interrupt tea time or some other banal activity. She would say a few cutting words and then be on her way, satisfied she had won. Mai wasn’t sure why Azula had to make everything a competition, but she had long since accepted that she would never quite understand how her former friend’s mind worked.</p><p>Today, Azula passes through drawing room where Mai is arranging flowers. This is another frivolous activity that the court nobles liked to occupy their time, but it is the least offensive one in Mai’s opinion. It is bad form to speak while arranging, so it is blissfully silent as the lords and ladies re-position various blooms in the vases.</p><p>“Hello, sister,” Azula says with a deadly smile.</p><p>Mai picks up a panda lily and inspects it.</p><p>“Hello, Princess Azula,” she replies dully.</p><p>Azula frowns, but her eyes sparkle with amusement.</p><p>“There’s no need to be so formal,” she chides. “We’re family now.”</p><p>“Yes, Azula.”</p><p>Azula’s amusement evaporates. Mai is pushing her luck. Giving no reaction would protect her own feelings from Azula, but Azula would get angry. She was here to put Mai in her place, to boost her own ego in comparison. Mai would have to roll over and give Azula what she wanted. She sighs.</p><p>“Bored?” Azula guesses. “I would be too if I had to spend time with these dunderheads all day.”</p><p>Some nearby ladies look affronted, but they conceal their hurt when Azula looks around. Instead, they bow courteously when she glances at them.</p><p>“Tell me, Mai,” Azula continues. “Do you like being royalty?”</p><p>Mai knows that this is a setup, but there’s no other option. She walks into the trap.</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>“I suppose that’s because you haven’t <i>really</i> had a taste of it yet.”</p><p>Mai eyes her surroundings.</p><p>“I think I’ve had more than enough,” she mutters.</p><p>“Not <i>this</i>,” Azula says dismissively. “I mean the <i>power</i> that comes with being royal. The divine right to rule.”</p><p>There is a gleam in Azula’s eyes that Mai doesn’t like. She stays silent.</p><p>“Of course, with the way Zuzu is mucking everything up, you’ll probably never experience anything more than this,” Azula says with mock sympathy. “You should encourage him to work harder.”</p><p>“He is working hard,” Mai counters.</p><p>Too late, Mai realizes that this was the trap.</p><p>“Defending Zuzu, are you?”</p><p>“He’s my husband,” Mai answers neutrally. She can feel her palms start to sweat.</p><p>“Yes, of course,” Azula says with acid sweetness. “So lucky you were able to match with him. I remember you liked him when we were children. Of course, he was much better looking then. No scar.”</p><p>Mai uses her pruning shears to trim the ends of a dragon sunflower. The snip is not nearly as stress-relieving as a stab. Mai itches for the daggers concealed up her sleeves.</p><p>“I should go. I’ve got important war meetings to attend,” Azula says smugly. “Do give Zuzu my best. Oh, and you should let him know that Father is gathering his generals tonight.”</p><p>Mai shoots Azula a wary look.</p><p>“Why would I tell him that?”</p><p>“Just so he knows he’s not invited. Bye, Mai.”</p><p>Azula strides off. Mai stares blankly at her half-finished bouquet, trying to quell the fury inside of her.</p><p>The day drags on until, at last, Mai can make her excuses to return home. When she arrives, Zuko is already there. He must have heard about the meeting; his fire blasts are particularly ferocious. They eat in silence, both of them too moody to share their thoughts.</p><p>They sit down to pour over their scrolls, but Mai can’t focus. She can’t decide what’s upsetting her: that Azula knew how to rattle her by taunting Zuko, or the fact that Mai cared enough about Zuko to be rattled. She lets out a frustrated sigh and steps away from the table, pacing the floor.</p><p>Zuko frowns at her.</p><p>“Something wrong?”</p><p>Mai flops onto the chaise, sighing again.</p><p>“I wish I could get out of here,” Mai grumbles.</p><p>She expects Zuko to go back to his reading — most people just ignored her complaints — but Zuko looks thoughtful.</p><p>“There is a way to sneak past the guards,” he says cautiously. “It’s hard to get back in, but it’s doable.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Can we go now?” she asks.</p><p>Zuko looks down at his scrolls and shoves them away.</p><p>“Okay. Don’t wear anything you like.”</p><p>Mai feels a jolt of excitement. She finds the plainest clothing she can and quickly dresses in washroom. When she returns to the study, Zuko is dressed in dark colors and has removed his hair from its tight topknot. He sets his hair in a low queue and holds a hat in one hand. Mai follows his lead and undoes her buns. She leaves her hair loose. It’s more unruly this way, but it seems a popular style among the common folk.</p><p>Silently, Mai follows Zuko around the back of the house and across the grounds. There is a  a low wall near the stables. She can immediately see Zuko’s path of egress. One of the buildings is too close to the outer wall, and if they can scamper up the side, they can jump over the wall with ease. A guard passes and Zuko holds up a hand. His fingers count down and then they break into a run.</p><p>She lands on her feet just next to Zuko. They hurry towards the dark alleys nearby and only when they are well and truly out of sight do they grin at each other.</p><p>“Where do we go now?” she asks.</p><p>“Wherever you want.”</p><p>“I haven’t been in the city since I was a kid,” Mai reminds him. “I don’t know this town. Where do you go?”</p><p>Zuko mulls this over before whispering.</p><p>“Follow me.”</p><p>They walk through the relatively empty streets until they reach a run-down part of town. There are drunks staggering around and most of the people look like they could use a good wash.</p><p>“This is where you go for fun?” Mai says with a disdainful glance around.</p><p>Zuko scowls.</p><p>“If you want to go back…”</p><p>“No,” Mai says quickly, feeling uncharacteristically guilty. “I shouldn’t have said that. This place seems… interesting.”</p><p>As if on cue, two men down the street break into a brawl. It ends as abruptly as it started; one man pushes the other into a canal. They are both cursing fluently. Mai hides a laugh behind her hand. Zuko catches her eye.</p><p>“Always something interesting around here,” he agrees.</p><p>They arrive at a dark tavern. Zuko shows her inside and she tries not to look too eager. She’s never been allowed in such a place before. Zuko, on the other hand, seems to know his way around.</p><p>“Come here often?” she asks him.</p><p>“Not in a while,” he admits. “But I got into a bad habit of sneaking out. I usually ended up here.”</p><p>“Why here?”</p><p>Zuko shrugs, looking uncomfortable.</p><p>“Got kicked out most other places.”</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“Fighting, mostly.”</p><p>“Who were you fighting?”</p><p>“Everyone,” Zuko says with a dark grimace.</p><p>Mai thinks she should say something supportive, but she has no idea what. Instead, she inclines her head towards the bar. There is a wisened old man there wiping a filthy rag against some glasses.</p><p>“Lee, wasn’ it?” he says, eyeing Zuko. “I never forget a face.”</p><p>Zuko turns his scarred cheek away from the man, but the bartender doesn’t notice. He sets his beady eyes on Mai.</p><p>“And you?” he asks.</p><p>Mai thinks fast.</p><p>“Jin.”</p><p>“That your name, or you orderin’ a drink?”</p><p>“Both.”</p><p>The man wheezes in amusement, turning back to Zuko.</p><p>“The same,” he nods.</p><p>The bartender slams down two glasses and gives them a generous pour. Mai, feeling reckless, tosses hers back in one gulp. It takes all of her years of training to keep a straight face.</p><p>“Another,” she chokes.</p><p>The old man grins. Zuko shoots Mai a worried look, but he follows her lead. The bartender pours them each another drink before hobbling off to other patrons.</p><p>“You can’t be drunk if you want to get back into the palace,” Zuko warns. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”</p><p>“Did you get caught?”</p><p>“No, but I ended up in a royal rosebush.”</p><p>Mai winces. Royal roses were known for their particularly sharp thorns.</p><p>“Well,” she smirks, holding up her glass, “guess we better drink these fast and then sober up.”</p><p>Zuko returns her smirk and sips his drink. His eyes stay fixed on her. Mai feels suddenly warm; she wonders if it’s possible to be drunk this quickly.</p><p>“There’s something I think you’ll like here,” Zuko says. </p><p>The bar is rowdy, but instead of shouting, Zuko leans in close to be heard. She can feel his breath on her neck when he speaks. He nods his head towards the back and Mai follows him.</p><p>Mai has never played darts before, but she has always wanted to. It wasn’t considered a refined enough game for the nobility. Mai can’t help but smile at Zuko.</p><p>They approach the board and gather some darts to play. Just before Mai takes her first throw, a huge, hulking man blocks her.</p><p>“This is our board,” he grunts. </p><p>An equally massive man appears at his side. They both leer at her, revealing several missing teeth. Zuko moves forward angrily, but Mai stops him.</p><p>“Funny,” she says to the huge man. “I don’t see your name on it.”</p><p>“Get lost, woman.”</p><p>“I’ll play you for it.” Mai proposes calmly.</p><p>The man lets out a booming laugh.</p><p>“You’re on.”</p><p>Mai takes her first throw. It flies wide, not even on the board. The man laughs cruelly.</p><p>“Bitten off a bit more than you can chew, haven’t you?”</p><p>The man takes aim. He is a good shot — only a centimeter away from the bullseye.</p><p>“I think I’m getting the hang of it,” Mai replies easily.</p><p>Her initial shot had been to test the weight of the dart and to put the man off his guard. Her next dart is dead center.</p><p>“Like that?” she asks coyly.</p><p>The man grumbles.</p><p>“Lucky throw.”</p><p>He takes another shot, but this is not as good as the first. Mai’s good fortune has upset his focus.</p><p>Mai throws her final dart neatly into the bullseye, a hair’s breadth from her other one. </p><p>The man swears violently. His last shot is poor; despite having actually hit the target three times, Mai’s two perfect throws have beaten him.</p><p>Unsurprisingly, he does not take it well.</p><p>“You fucking bit—“</p><p>The rest of his sentence is lost when Zuko punches him in the face.</p><p>The second giant man roars in anger and moves to retaliate, but Mai is quicker. There are two daggers in her hand in the blink of an eye, and she uses them to pin his tunic against a barstool. Confused, the man stumbles, crashing into another patron and knocking over her beer. The woman is furious and bashes him over the head with her empty mug. The man slumps and Mai darts forward to collect her knives.</p><p>Zuko is still fighting the original behemoth, whose eye is rapidly purpling. Blood gushes from the man’s nose. He bellows in fury as Zuko ducks and weaves away. Zuko jabs hard into the man’s torso as he avoids the clumsy blows aimed at him. Enraged, the man lunges at Zuko, who springs to the right just in time. The man lands on a table, upending a card game in progress. The players jump up and immediately begin pummeling the man for interrupting them. Zuko grabs Mai’s hand and they race out the door.</p><p>Zuko leads her through a dark alley and upwards onto the railings of nearby houses. They settle on a nearby rooftop, watching as the bar fight spills out onto the street.</p><p>“I see why you like coming down here,” Mai says with a slight smile. “It’s fun.”</p><p>Zuko snorts.</p><p>“Wouldn’t have thought you were the type of woman who liked bar fights.”</p><p>Mai shrugs.</p><p>“I wouldn’t start one on my own, but I knew you had my back. That made it fun.”</p><p>Zuko looks up into the inky night.</p><p>“I could teach you,” he says at length. “To fight, I mean. You’re good with your daggers, but if you want a sparring partner…”</p><p>Mai’s smile widens.</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p>They sit on the roof for a long time. The fight dies down, but there is plenty of other entertainment. There are groups of drunk, happy friends and giggling couples wandering about. A woman comes out onto a porch and sings for a while. There are babies crying and dogs barking. It’s loud, but it feels comforting, too. It’s a nice reminder that there is life outside the confines of the palace.</p><p>“We should probably head back,” Zuko says reluctantly.</p><p>“Okay,” Mai agrees. “But first, I want to see what smells so good.”</p><p>Zuko grins.</p><p>“Follow me.”</p><p>Zuko takes a more adventurous route than expected. Mai grins in the darkness as they leap over rooftops and slide down walls. They arrive at a narrow street filled with vendors selling their wares late into the night — warm, fatty food for the drunks and the hungry.</p><p>Mai takes her time perusing the stalls. She is surprised at Zuko’s patience, but he doesn’t rush her along. She settles on takoyaki sold by the oldest woman she has ever seen. The woman gives a wide, toothless smile when Zuko offers her a generous tip for the food.</p><p>The two of them wander slowly back to the palace. Zuko was right — getting back in is tricky to time right, and they have to wait for the better part of an hour for the patrols to be in their favor. They return to their house, both of them slightly overtired, and crawl into bed.</p><p>Mai rolls to face Zuko. He gives her a curious glance in the moonlight and rolls to face her as well.</p><p>“Thank you,” she whispers.</p><p>Before she loses her nerve, she darts forward to press a kiss on Zuko’s cheek. She can feel the mottled skin of his scar against her lips, and it makes her kiss him with more tenderness than she had planned.</p><p>She pulls away. Zuko’s eyes are wide, and her stomach tightens in fear. Worried that she has upset the delicate balance between them, she hastily rolls away.</p><p>“Goodnight,” she says firmly.</p><p>There is a long pause.</p><p>“Goodnight, Mai.”</p><p>She shuts her eyes, wondering what would have happened if she had been brave enough to kiss his lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sparring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The heat of summer is unforgiving in the Fire Nation. Mai adopts Zuko’s habit of rising at dawn to avoid the heat. She drinks her daily black lotus tea, but it scarcely feels warmer than the muggy air around them.</p>
<p>Zuko begins the day with his usual firebending practice. Once he is done, he teaches Mai to spar. She is particularly good at rolling away to avoid his attacks, but she still prefers to strike from a distance. Zuko’s tactics are more direct and aggressive. It has its advantages, but so does her method. They fight at half-speed, each analyzing the other. When their sessions end, they bow and immediately start to discuss techniques that would play to both of their strengths.</p>
<p>Mai’s favorite part of their routine comes when Zuko walks with her up to the palace. They have to time it right, and some days Mai walks purposefully slowly so that whoever is in the hallway ahead of them passes out of sight. Only then will Zuko press a light kiss to her cheek.</p>
<p>The first time it had come as a surprise. Mai had barely enough time to realize what had happened before Zuko had stalked off towards his meetings. The second day, however, Mai had stood expectantly before him, angling her cheek upwards. The soft look on Zuko’s face had given her a strange floating feeling all morning.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Azula had chosen that particular morning to bother Mai. As if able to sense Mai’s rare good mood, Azula decided to shatter it by heaping a pile of scrolls in front of Mai’s embroidery.</p>
<p>“Party planning,” Azula explained with a smirk. “Everyone knows late summer is dreadfully boring for the high court. We need to keep them happy and free with their gold.”</p>
<p>Mai said nothing, stabbing her needle through the linen in her hands. Embroidery was a significant step down from throwing daggers, but it was a useful way to hide her nerves in front of Azula.</p>
<p>“I thought, dear sister,” Azula continues, “that you would be perfectly suited to party planning.”</p>
<p>“Can the theme be boredom-induced suicide?”</p>
<p>Azula let out the first genuine laugh Mai had heard from her in years. Azula had always liked Mai’s dark humor; it was part of the reason Azula insisted they be friends in the first place. Mai wondered what their friendship might have been if not for the imbalance of power between them.</p>
<p>“As much as I would like to see that,” Azula sighed, “I really think you should go for more of a summer theme. At least for the first one.”</p>
<p>“How many will there be?” Mai asked with mounting trepidation.</p>
<p>“At least one a week,” Azula said. “More if you really want to do a good job. Which you should — I hear father is particularly displeased with Zuko’s plan for rice reallocation. He wanted to send grain to Cherry Island instead of the war front!”</p>
<p>“Wasn’t there a typhoon in Cherry Island? It seems like they would need food.”</p>
<p>“They’re peasants, Mai,” Azula said sternly. “Who cares what they want? Anyway, you better get planning. The high court is getting restless.”</p>
<p>Mai’s evenings become as miserable as her days. Zuko is always in a foul mood. He buries himself in his scrolls, making noises of frustration every so often. Mai, too, needs to work, but she would happily trade with Zuko. Her job involves figuring out color-coordination schemes, table settings, and summer-themed menus among other frivolous details. She had suggested to Azula that there were several servants who were better suited and indeed, paid, to do such things. Azula had insisted that Mai be charged with all of it — the appropriate royal role for a princess. Mai had not been stupid enough to point out that Azula was also a princess yet she was free to avoid all of this nonsense.</p>
<p>Once the parties begin, Mai’s evenings are even worse. Mai can organize a soirée without too much effort, even if it is a nuisance. Hosting, however, is draining. She has been trained to be polite and demur, not charming and witty. She misses Ty Lee fiercely; Ty Lee would have the high court wrapped around her finger in under an hour.</p>
<p>Mai worries about Ty Lee’s silence. The last missive Mai had received had been just before Ty Lee had run away to the circus. Mai didn’t know where to send a letter, and none had arrived from Ty Lee since. If Ty Lee were still in the Fire Nation, she certainly would have heard about Mai’s wedding by now. Even in the Earth Kingdom, the marriage of the Fire Nation prince would have been news. Still, Mai receives no word from her friend. It starts to keep her up at night. She hopes Ty Lee is safe.</p>
<p>The parties last for hours, and Mai returns home late each time. Zuko is usually still awake, toiling over his mountain of work. It is a small mercy that Zuko is excluded from her parties. Azula insists that no one wants a disgraced prince around, but Mai is glad that Zuko is safe from the prying eyes of the court. They ask her loaded questions intended as slights against him every night. Mai is able to keep a straight face, but she can only imagine how much these barbs would hurt Zuko. </p>
<p>When each party ends, she flees to the safety of their house. She has to force Zuko to put down his scrolls to sleep. One evening, he is tired enough to join her in bed without protest. She musters up the energy to give him a kiss on the cheek. After that, Zuko follows her every night, each time rewarded with a light kiss. It had not been her intention to train him, but it came in handy.</p>
<p>Three weeks into the party-planning whirlwind, Mai receives a reprieve. Ozai is hosting a gala for the court — honoring himself, of course — and Zuko and Mai are explicitly excluded. Zuko broods over this, but Mai is more than happy to avoid another ridiculous fête. She sits in the study with Zuko, but she can’t bring herself to start planning the next party yet.</p>
<p>“You don’t have meetings tomorrow morning, do you?” she asks Zuko.</p>
<p>“Not until late afternoon. I guess everyone will be too hungover from tonight’s party,” he grumbles, casting a dark look up at the palace.</p>
<p>“Let’s go out.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s good eyebrow quirks up.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Zuko frowns at his paperwork for a moment. He casts it aside.</p>
<p>“Let’s go.”</p>
<p>Sneaking out is even easier than the first time. Within minutes, they are racing into the heart of the city.</p>
<p>Mai supposes it’s a bit depressing to visit this part of town. Everywhere they turn, there are ragged laborers dragging themselves home from the docks, impoverished children without shoes, angry drunks slurring at everyone. It does not escape Mai’s attention that most of the drunks appear to be war veterans; they wear the filthy remnants of their uniforms, and many bear scars of swords or burns. A good number are even missing limbs. They clumsily make their way over the muddy and cobbled streets. She can tell Zuko notices, too. He tenses when a child runs over, begging for money. He shoos the child away, but Mai spots the coin that slips its way into the child’s hand. The child runs off, and Zuko turns stonily into the pub.</p>
<p>Mai trounces Zuko at darts. He is not a good loser, but he seems content to watch Mai win when others notice her prowess and challenge her. She wins herself and Zuko several drinks. When they are good and tipsy, they stumble over to the street full of food stalls. Mai orders some pan-fried noodles while Zuko opts for kebabs of roasted meat. They bundle their food carefully and sneak up onto the nearby rooftops. They swap bites as they watch the city rumble below them. Mai complains about all the ridiculous members of high court she has to kowtow to while Zuko laughs at her rude impressions of them.</p>
<p>The air cools with the breeze from the sea. Mai nudges one of Zuko’s arms, and he lifts it to wrap around her shoulders and pull her close. She dips her head into the space just under his chin. It feels good to escape their lives for a moment.</p>
<p>“I wish we didn’t have to go back,” she sighs.</p>
<p>“We could run away,” Zuko proposes off-handedly.</p>
<p>“What about your honor?” Mai asks.</p>
<p>Zuko is silent for a long moment. Mai can feel his jaw clenching above her.</p>
<p>“I could regain my honor another way,” Zuko says cautiously. “I’ve tried doing it here for long enough. Perhaps if I left…”</p>
<p>“What would you do? Go find the Avatar?”</p>
<p>She means this as a joke, but when she pulls back to look at him, Zuko seems pensive.</p>
<p>“The Avatar is dead,” Mai reminds him. “I wasn’t being serious.”</p>
<p>“Nobody knows that he’s dead,” Zuko argues. “Just missing. I could try to find him.”</p>
<p>“And do what?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. My father would be pleased if I brought back the Avatar.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, so he could kill him.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks disheartened and falls silent again.Mai props her chin in her hands.</p>
<p>“I guess it could be worse,” she muses.</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“We could be at a party right now.”</p>
<p>“We <i>should</i> be at my father’s party right now.”</p>
<p>“If I have to have one more conversation with some high court idiot about the price of cod-salmon caviar, I’m going to scream.”</p>
<p>Zuko snickers.</p>
<p>“Sounds awful.”</p>
<p>“It is. I can’t imagine your meetings are any better though.”</p>
<p>“They’re just frustrating,” Zuko frowns. “Every time I bring up an idea, I get stonewalled. Then the councilmen wait a few weeks and bring it up like it was their idea. If Father hates it, then suddenly it’s my idea again. I can’t win.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s frustration descends over them like a black cloud. Mai isn’t sure what to do, so she waits quietly for the storm to pass. When his dark look lifts, Mai sighs again.</p>
<p>“I’m bored.”</p>
<p>“You’re always bored.”</p>
<p>“Not always,” she says, slightly hurt. “I’m not bored when we’re sparring.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks amused.</p>
<p>“You want to spar?”</p>
<p>Mai shrugs.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Zuko gives a grin that makes Mai’s heart race. She springs to her feet and dashes across the rooftop, Zuko hot on her heels. She leaps.</p>
<p>It’s less of a sparring session and more like a game of tag. Mai dodges and dives through side streets, but Zuko has the advantage. He knows which ways are dead ends, and he knows where to find the high ground. He has her cornered in a matter of minutes. She tries her best to trip him up, but he gets her against a wall, pinning her wrists above her head so she can’t go for her knives.</p>
<p>“I win,” he rasps.</p>
<p>Mai rolls her eyes in annoyance. She isn’t a very good loser either.</p>
<p>“Do you want a prize or something?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Zuko says teasingly.</p>
<p>Mai is about to give a sharp retort when an idea steals over her. Before she can second-guess herself, she presses upwards. </p>
<p>The kiss surprises Zuko, but he doesn’t release her. He makes a noise that sends Mai’s blood pumping south, and she gasps at the sensation. Zuko’s tongue slips boldly into her mouth and Mai feels slightly faint. She remembers Azula’s scroll had mention this type of kissing — <i>a fiery embrace</i> it had been called — but she hadn’t imagined it would feel this good. Clearly, she isn’t the only one affected; Zuko groans and presses himself against her. </p>
<p>There is a bang in a nearby alley, and a group of panther-cats yowl in displeasure. Mai and Zuko break apart, wide-eyed and panting slightly.</p>
<p>“Best two out of three?” Mai gasps.</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes darken, dropping to her mouth. He releases her hands and she dances away. Zuko allows her a few seconds head-start before he tears after her.</p>
<p>The chase is thrilling. Mai revels in the inky night as they traipse across the city, leaping onto roofs and over fences. She can hear Zuko laughing behind her.</p>
<p>On impulse, she decides to turn the tables. She stops running and whirls to face him, knives out.</p>
<p>“You going to take me down?” Zuko smirks.</p>
<p>“With pleasure.”</p>
<p>Zuko jumps and Mai’s dagger goes wide. He scrambles up the edifice of a crumbling building. Mai grabs her knife before chasing after him. He evades her for several minutes until fortune gives Mai an opportunity. Zuko turns into an alleyway only to find it blocked. He turns to run out, but Mai’s daggers pin his tunic against the wall. She’s certain he could still run away if he really wanted to, but he goes still, waiting for her to approach.</p>
<p>She pulls the daggers out of the wall, freeing him. She hesitates for a moment before claiming her kiss, uncertain if Zuko wants what she does. Her worries are quickly quelled; Zuko groans louder than ever and holds her tightly to him. Mai gives what might almost be a giggle and presses into him.</p>
<p>The kiss is like the tide: calm and steady one moment, fierce and stormy the next. Mai can’t decide which she likes best. The soft kisses make her feel a little weak-kneed, while the more passionate ones inflame her. She wonders if this is what it feels like to firebend; it feels warm enough to strip naked.</p>
<p>Several minutes pass before Mai, her lips swollen and tender, steps back.</p>
<p>“We’re even,” she says unsteadily. “We have to play one more round.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s clothes are disheveled and loose tendrils of hair fall across his face. The heated look in his eyes makes Mai acutely aware of just how excited she is. She remembers her first evening with Zuko, how he had mentioned that consummating their marriage might not be painful if she were satisfied first. Mai is hungry: she wants to be sated.</p>
<p>She runs. She makes her way back towards the palace, wondering if she will be brave enough to ask for what she wants back in the privacy of their own home. Out here, she can be bold and brash — she is a different version of herself, a version she likes better.</p>
<p>Zuko catches her just before the palace walls. There is no hesitation this time; he draws her into a searing kiss and she melts towards him. They stay quiet — there are fewer people around to drown out any noises they might make — but Mai finds that it only heightens her arousal. The world is focused at a sharp point that begins and ends with Zuko.</p>
<p>His grip on her is tight but not uncomfortable. His hands move as he kisses her, tracing down her back. He pulls away to press warm, open-mouthed kisses against her neck and Mai slumps back against the alley wall. She can feel him smirk against her skin.</p>
<p>“Shut up,” she whispers shakily.</p>
<p>“I didn’t say anything,” comes his teasing retort.</p>
<p>“You’re being smug.”</p>
<p>“I won,” he reminds her.</p>
<p>“Smug jerk,” she sighs, leaning to expose more of her neck to him.</p>
<p>He presses her more firmly against the wall. She can definitely feel something pressed against her abdomen and a potent combination of excitement and anxiety floods through her. She tests her daring, rolling her hips against him. Zuko gives a groan.</p>
<p>“<i>Mai</i>.”</p>
<p>Mai claws at his clothing. She wants him, more than she’s wanted anything in her life. She didn’t even know it was possible to feel so much at once.</p>
<p>The sound of a carriage approaches, and they hastily break apart. They crouch awkwardly in the shadows, waiting for it to pass. They are most unfortunate; the occupants are being dropped off at the large manor that abuts the alley where they are hiding, and they are forced to stay put while the couple slowly alights. Their conversation drifts towards Mai and Zuko.</p>
<p>“A rousing speech,” a woman says in a complimentary tone. “Inspirational.”</p>
<p>“Quite,” a man agrees in a pompous voice. He is as rotund as his companion is lean; he seems to be struggling to exit the carriage, waving off the driver’s help.</p>
<p>“Princess Azula will make a fine Fire Lord some day,” the woman continues.</p>
<p>“Now, dear,” the man chuckles. “You are forgetting that she is the second born.”</p>
<p>“So was Fire Lord Ozai,” the woman reminds him.</p>
<p>“Yes, but General Iroh abdicated. Prince Zuko has not.”</p>
<p>“He didn’t even bother to show up to the party,” the woman sniffs. “He never does. A most ungrateful son. You should hear what the rest of court says about him.”</p>
<p>Zuko tenses in the shadows next to Mai. Mai is tempted to draw her daggers, but the poor coachman is struggling to yank the man out of the door, blocking the slender woman behind him.</p>
<p>“If you ask me,” the woman says conspiratorially, “the Fire Nation would be better off without him. Councilman Shen tells me the boy has all these silly notions about putting the poor first. As if they would know what to do with the Fire Nation’s riches!”</p>
<p>“Squander it on drink, they would,” the man puffs.</p>
<p>“Quite right,” the woman agrees. “And his wife! I’ve never met a more dour person. I never thought I’d see a princess so displeasing in nature and in looks.”</p>
<p>“Oh, come now,” the man pants, still wriggling in the carriage door. “She is handsome enough.”</p>
<p>“A long face and plain features,” the woman tuts. “Her manner is graceful, but she’s not much to look at. Perhaps that makes her a decent match for Prince Zuko after all. He would be quite striking if not for that horrible scar. Foolish boy to have earned himself such a disgraceful mark.”</p>
<p>There is a grunt and a pop. The man has finally freed himself, but has landed in an ungainly heap on top of his wife. The coachman struggles to right them both. They sputter indignantly.</p>
<p>“Unhand me!” the man shouts. “And keep your hands off of my wife!”</p>
<p>“My apologies, sir,” the coachman says quickly. “I only…”</p>
<p>“Never mind,” the man scolds. “Be gone.”</p>
<p>The coachman looks disgruntled at the lack of a tip, but he makes his way back to the front of the carriage. The ostrich-horses pull it away and the rich couple passes out of sight.</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko linger in the dark of the alley. Neither of them speaks.</p>
<p>They sneak back into the palace undetected. They scarcely look at each other when they return to their chambers, parting ways to change into sleep clothes before crawling into bed.</p>
<p>The air in the room feels heavy and still. Mai knows she shouldn’t be hurt by what she overheard. Normally, she wouldn’t care what people thought about her looks. She had always thought that only stupid people cared what they looked like. Now she isn’t so sure. Her face <i>was</i> long, and she certainly had never attracted attention like Ty Lee did. She knew she wasn’t perky and pretty like Ty Lee — was that what all men wanted? Zuko had seemed to like kissing her well enough, but it wasn’t like he had many other women to kiss.</p>
<p>Beside her, she can feel Zuko turn over. It seems he, too, is having a restless night. Mai thinks back to the cruel things the couple had said about Zuko. Her anger flares.</p>
<p>“They were wrong,” she says into the darkness.</p>
<p>Zuko stirs and rolls to face her.</p>
<p>“I told you,” he rasps dejectedly. “My dishonor would taint you.”</p>
<p>“They were wrong,” Mai repeats more firmly. </p>
<p>“Mai…”</p>
<p>“Were they right about me?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes snap up to hers.</p>
<p>“Of course not,” he insists. “You’re beautiful.”</p>
<p>“If they’re wrong about me, then they’re wrong about you, too.”</p>
<p>“Mai…”</p>
<p>Mai surges forward and captures Zuko’s lips in another kiss. It is not sultry like the ones in the alleyways, but it is solid and steady. She can feel Zuko’s initial urge to pull away and correct her, but after a moment he softens. Gently, she pulls away.</p>
<p>“They’re wrong about you, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“It’s what everyone thinks.”</p>
<p>“It’s not what <i>I</i> think.”</p>
<p>Zuko says nothing. Mai waits, but eventually decides she should just go to bed. Zuko’s hand finds hers as she moves away.</p>
<p>He sits up to meet her, reaching up to pull her to him in an embrace. Mai buries her face into Zuko’s neck. She breathes in his warm scent.</p>
<p>They sit together, unmoving, for a long time. Mai’s eyelids start to droop. Reluctantly, she untangles herself from his arms. She lies back on her pillow, her eyes half shut.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Mai.”</p>
<p>“G’night.”</p>
<p>Mai feels a soft kiss on her temple. She falls asleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next day is surprisingly not terrible. For one thing, neither Zuko nor Mai has to deal with any court or council duties until well into the afternoon. They visit Iroh for a good part of the morning and spend the rest sparring together. When they finally do head up to the palace to fulfill their duties, Mai is happy to see that most of the high court seems under the weather from the previous evening’s festivities. She is able to excuse herself early; most of the court spends the afternoon lounging on chaises and shushing servants for walking too loudly.</p>
<p>Mai is even more pleased to find Zuko already home when she arrives. She brings down their dinner herself — she intercepts the servant carrying it along the way — so they can spend the evening in solitude. She hopes that perhaps they might resume some of the previous evening’s activities. They sit out on the deck as they usually do, the parrot-finches cheeping softly in the nearby bushes.</p>
<p>Zuko, however, has a rather nervous energy about him. They eat dinner together — a light summer meal of sun-ripened vegetables over cold noodles — but he seems distracted. Irritated, Mai confronts him.</p>
<p>“What’s going on?”</p>
<p>She expects Zuko to deny it. He usually feigned ignorance when Mai called him out on his moods, pretending that everything was fine. This time, however, Zuko looks relieved that she asked.</p>
<p>He goes into the study and emerges holding a small box. He sits and holds it out to Mai.</p>
<p>“I went into town this afternoon.”</p>
<p>“Without me?”</p>
<p>Zuko smiles.</p>
<p>“Wrong part of town,” he explains. “I had to pick this up. I ordered it a month ago. I had hoped it would be ready faster, but…”</p>
<p>He shrugs, looking nervous again.</p>
<p>“Did you get me a present?” she asks, confused.</p>
<p>“Yes. Open it.”</p>
<p>Mai unlatches the box. Set snugly inside is a small, golden flame – a crown, identical to the one she has been forced to wear every day since her wedding.</p>
<p>Mai shoots Zuko a confused look. She had complained many times about her crown. It seemed stupid to wear it all the time, and she always took it off the minute she could. She doesn’t understand why Zuko would want to get her a second one.</p>
<p>“Pick it up.”</p>
<p>Still unsure, Mai reaches inside and pulls the crown out. It glints in the setting sun. Mai notices a hairline ridge across the smooth surface. Intrigued, she turns the crown over. On the back, there is a small protrusion. She pushes it and hears a faint click. Her eyes widen as the crown splits, the top of the flame falling away from the base. Mai turns flame over in her hand. She presses up on the protrusion and hears another click. Razor-sharp steel springs from the golden sheath.</p>
<p>A dagger.</p>
<p>Mai jerks her head up. Zuko is watching her, half-smiling.</p>
<p>“Do you like it?”</p>
<p>Mai tosses the dagger aside and launches herself at Zuko. He tumbles off the deck and onto the soft grass inches below. Mai throws herself on top of him and kisses him soundly.</p>
<p>Zuko hums against her and Mai does not hesitate. As the kiss heats, she rolls her hips against Zuko and he moans her name. She repeats the motion until they are both breathless. After several minutes that feel like hours, she scrambles off of him and tugs him upward. They sway against each other as night falls. It is a heavenly feeling, but Mai’s patience starts to grow thin.</p>
<p>“Off,” she demands, tugging at Zuko’s tunic.</p>
<p>There is no shy hesitation. Zuko strips off his shirt and eyes hers. Not to be outdone, Mai follows suit, leaving only her wrappings. The way Zuko looks at her makes Mai realize just how foolish she was to believe what the noblewoman had said about her appearance the night before. A long face, maybe, but Mai is not plain. She is beautiful and she is powerful. Every second Zuko stares at her amplifies the feeling until she is reaching back and pulling off her wrappings by herself.</p>
<p> Zuko’s eyes go comically wide.</p>
<p>“Mai,” he rasps, sounding almost pained. </p>
<p>“Should I stop?” she asks, her voice much lower than usually.</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says, unable to look away. “But maybe we should go inside.”</p>
<p>Mai blushes. She had entirely forgotten where they were, so lost in their own world. Mai turns and jumps up onto the deck, making a beeline for the bed. Zuko follows at a more sedate pace.</p>
<p>“You know this isn’t why I got you the dagger, right?” he questions.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“We don’t have to —“</p>
<p>“I want to,” Mai says calmly. “I have for a while now.”</p>
<p>She locks eyes with Zuko. He nods.</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>The pace is slow again, but Mai doesn’t mind. Zuko insists on learning how to undo the rest of her wrappings himself, and he takes a long time enjoying the sight and feel of her breasts. Mai is squirming against him as he teases her.</p>
<p>“I would ask how you know how to do this,” she pants, “but I guess I know the answer.”</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me you haven’t been reading it,” Zuko smirks. “It’s always open to a different spot when I go back to it.”</p>
<p>“I might have some ideas,” she breathes.</p>
<p>“Where do you want to start?”</p>
<p>Mai feels herself go red, but she forces herself to speak plainly.</p>
<p>“The Kiss of Fire.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s golden eyes flash in the dim light. He places a warm kiss on her hip.</p>
<p>“You’ll need to take these off.”</p>
<p>Mai tries to maintain some decorum, but it’s difficult to remove her trousers without some ungainliness. Zuko doesn’t seem to mind. He is entranced by the long expanse of her legs and, when revealed, the apex between her thighs.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want —“ she starts.</p>
<p>But it seems that Zuko <i>does</i> want, because he eagerly swoops forward to place a kiss right where she wants. It takes her a moment to relax — she worries that The Kiss of Fire is perhaps a bit bold to start — but once Zuko finds the right spot, she shivers and sighs into the bed.</p>
<p>Zuko’s tongue laves against her, the same intensity and passion as any kiss he had given her before. Cautiously, he starts to slide a finger into her. She stiffens for a moment and he pulls away, but she drags him back to her.</p>
<p>“I like it,” she says. She does not want to admit to the nerves warring with her excitement.</p>
<p>“I can stop,” Zuko says.</p>
<p>“No,” Mai says firmly. “Keep going.”</p>
<p>She is right to insist. Within minutes, Zuko’s finger is pumping a rhythm inside her that matches the dance of his tongue. Mai feels like her blood is boiling, like there is lava in her veins ready to explode. When her release comes, she is too surprised to quiet herself. She gives a yelp and then a long cry, half-sigh, half-moan, before sliding bonelessly back onto the covers.</p>
<p>When she gathers her wits about her again, she looks up at Zuko’s stunned expression.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” she mumbles, embarrassed.</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says hoarsely. “Never apologize for that. You were…”</p>
<p>But apparently Zuko cannot find the words to describe her. Instead he pushes himself up to kiss her. She can taste a strange tang on his tongue, the taste of herself. </p>
<p>“Do you think,” Mai starts cautiously, “that we could keep going?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s expression is serious.</p>
<p>“I want to,” he admits. “But I don’t think I’ll be very good at it.”</p>
<p>“You already <i>were</i> good,” Mai replies, trying not to blush.</p>
<p>“You liked it?”</p>
<p>“Of course I did,” Mai says, annoyed. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”</p>
<p>Zuko goes quiet for a moment.</p>
<p>“I know,” he says finally. “You don’t lie to me.”</p>
<p>Zuko moves to lay down beside her, staring at her for a long moment.</p>
<p>“So, do you still want to…?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Zuko kisses her again, and Mai suddenly very aware of her nakedness. Zuko, she realizes, still has most of his clothes on.</p>
<p>“Off,” she commands again. </p>
<p>Zuko seems eager to do her bidding and quickly moves to kiss her. Mai holds up her hand.</p>
<p>“Wait. I want to look at you.”</p>
<p>Both she and Zuko are very red in the face, but Zuko stands still for her inspection. Satisfied, Mai beckons him back to bed.</p>
<p>“I read the scrolls, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to get it right the first time,” Zuko warns.</p>
<p>“You seemed fine earlier.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I wasn’t inside you,” Zuko says with a slight flush. “I think it will be… harder.”</p>
<p>“Seems pretty hard to me.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Zuko looks shocked. Then he bursts out laughing, delighted.</p>
<p>He brushes a hand against her face. Mai feels something other than desire coiling low in her belly, something even more seductive and more dangerous. The scroll had mentioned the distinction between lust and love. Mai doesn’t want to think about it too much right now.</p>
<p>Without another word, she pulls Zuko to her and, with some careful arranging, he positions himself to enter her. It stretches, but it doesn’t <i>hurt</i>. It feels odd at first, so alien that she’s not quite sure how to respond. Zuko, however, immediately groans and buries his face against Mai’s neck.</p>
<p>“<i>Fuck</i>, you feel good.”</p>
<p>Mai watches Zuko as he moves against her. He tries to keep his eyes on her, but occasionally he closes them, an expression of such ecstasy on his face that he looks almost pained. Mai doesn’t feel quite as good as he does, but she certainly feels something. After a few thrusts, Mai lifts her hips slightly and Zuko slides in again. Her eyes roll back into her head.</p>
<p>“Good?” Zuko pants.</p>
<p>“Do it again,” Mai gasps.</p>
<p>Zuko repeats the motion. Mai clenches her fists in the sheets. Oh, this is <i>much</i> better than she expected. Zuko continues for a few more delicious thrusts as Mai writhes underneath him.</p>
<p>“Mai,” Zuko chokes. “I can’t…”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” she says breathlessly. “I want to watch you.”</p>
<p>Zuko gives another groan before he thrusts again, losing the careful rhythm he has set. He makes a sound like he has been punched in the gut and goes still, his hands gripping her hips with almost bruising power. He slumps forward and struggles to catch himself before he falls on top of her.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he mumbles against the bed. “I should have—“</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize,” she says, echoing his earlier words. “I liked it.”</p>
<p>“But you didn’t…”</p>
<p>“No,” she says with a shrug. “But I will. And it felt nice.”</p>
<p>Zuko rolls onto his side. The tenderness on his face makes her heart ache. She feels a strange pang of sadness. So many people had been cruel to Zuko. He deserved kindness; he deserved to know just how wonderful he was. She wants to tell him, but the words get trapped in her throat. Instead, she tries her best to show him, kissing him softly over his scar. He makes a sound almost like a whimper and Mai wraps herself around him.</p>
<p>They lie intertwined for a minute before Mai remembers the instructions of the scroll. She heads to the washroom to clean herself up. Even with the scroll, she had not been prepared for just how messy sex was. When she returns, Zuko is still lounging naked on the bed, a look of quiet contemplation on his face. He turns to smile at her and she decides to pounce on him like a sparring match. Zuko laughs.</p>
<p>“I yield,” he says, holding up his hands.</p>
<p>“Good choice,” she says smugly. </p>
<p>She pulls up the sheet around them and drapes herself over Zuko’s chest.</p>
<p>“Azula would be horrified at how useful the scroll she gave us was,” Mai smirks. </p>
<p>“Please,” Zuko wheezes. “Let’s agree to never mention my sister in bed.”</p>
<p>“Deal."</p>
<p>Zuko smiles and Mai returns it. She can’t seem to stop, and she feels all giggly. Zuko, clearly amused by her odd expression, laughs, and soon Mai is laughing, too. The sound echoes through the night. Mai can scarcely believe the previous evening she had wanted to be somewhere else. Right now, this is exactly where she wants to be.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Still a LOT of adventure to come, but we've got that romance turned up now. Hope you're enjoying so far!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. End of a Season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mai wakes to the sound of parrot-finches outside and the smell black lotus tea on her bedside table. If she listens carefully, she can hear Zuko’s feet rustling through the grass as he firebends.</p>
<p>Normally, she would grab her daggers and join him to spar, but Mai has another idea. She slips out of bed and grabs her robe, positioning herself in the doorway that faces the back of the house. Zuko faces the rising sun in the east, his back to her. Mai stands in a beam of brilliant morning sun and waits for him to turn.</p>
<p>Zuko slashes the air with his fire, looking more steady and sure of himself than she has ever seen. She wonders if the previous evening has played a role, then chastises herself for her sentimentality. Everyone knew firebending came from strength of will, from unyielding power. It was fueled by rage and conviction. Last night had not been like that. No, last night had been gentle and warm. Certainly it could not have fueled the wave of flame that Zuko produces now.</p>
<p>After a few minutes, Zuko rotates, poised to deliver a kick of fire. He catches sight of Mai and freezes. She has to work hard not to laugh; Zuko is comically twisted, one leg raised and his arms held defensively. He goggles at her, his jaw dropping slightly.</p>
<p>The robe is as sheer as ever in the bright light. For a moment she wonders if she has been too bold, but she is rewarded for her daring. Zuko abandons his practice immediately. In three long strides he crosses the lawn to meet her. He jumps onto the deck and pulls her into his arms, embracing her like they had been parted for months. She smirks and exposes her neck. Zuko kisses his way down to the hem of the robe and makes a noise of frustration. Without a word, he grabs her belt and pulls. The silk slips from her shoulders and onto the ground.</p>
<p>“We’re still outside,” she says, quirking up an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“I can fix that.”</p>
<p>She gives a yelp as Zuko scoops her up into his arms, maneuvering his way towards the bedroom. He sets her down on the bed.</p>
<p>“How barbaric,” she says, smirking up at him.</p>
<p>“Let me make it up to you.”</p>
<p>“How are you planning on doing that?”</p>
<p>“A kiss, perhaps?”</p>
<p>For a moment, she thinks he means her face, but then he moves between her legs with a hungry expression. Mai nods. Zuko licks a hot stripe against the side of her thigh, making her shiver. Zuko’s rumbling laughter sends delicious vibrations along her skin. Mai loses her train of thought entirely as he moves to repeat his movements from the night before.</p>
<p>Mai’s release comes even faster this time, and more powerfully, too. Her legs shake around his head.</p>
<p>“Can I try again?” Zuko asks.</p>
<p>“You want to?” she says, trying to catch her breath.</p>
<p>“The scroll said sometimes women can go more than once.”</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want, I’ve got no complaints.”</p>
<p>Zuko grins and goes in for seconds. Mai has a hard time staying focused on Zuko — the pleasure is so intense, she often has to shut her eyes — but when she looks down at him, his eyes are watching her. When she moans, she can feel his smile pressed against her.</p>
<p>She lets out another yell and goes rigid. She is very, very glad their house is so far removed from the rest of the palace. She had not thought she would be quite so loud.</p>
<p>“I want you inside me now,” she pants.</p>
<p>“So demanding,” Zuko grins, wiping his face.</p>
<p>“If you want something else, I’m happy to try it,” she suggests.</p>
<p>“I was joking,” Zuko says, stripping off his short pants. “Besides, I can’t think of anything better than being inside of you.”</p>
<p>It’s even better this time, although it’s still a bit brief for Mai’s liking. She supposes it will just take time to build stamina — after all, she hadn’t become an expert markswoman overnight — and Zuko is already very good at satisfying her with his mouth and his hands. She had never thought anything could make her feel this good.</p>
<p>Zuko rolls away, chest heaving. Mai moves to drape herself across him.</p>
<p>“I suppose we should thank Iroh for the tea,” Mai says idly.</p>
<p>“Okay, one more rule,” Zuko says, looking slightly pained. “No talking about my uncle when we’re in bed.”</p>
<p>Reluctantly, they dress and prepare for their meetings. Mai dreads wasting yet another day planning insipid parties, especially now that she has something much more interesting to do. Zuko looks equally disgruntled as they walk up to the main palace.</p>
<p>“If I return home before you,” Mai begins cautiously, “would you like me to brew you some red jasmine tea?”</p>
<p>Zuko evaluates her as if waiting for a trick. Mai feels suddenly self-conscious. Was it strange to be thinking of being with him again already?</p>
<p>“If you want,” Zuko replies evenly. “But if you’re tired…”</p>
<p>“I won’t be.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes glimmer in the morning light. Without pausing to check for passersby, he leans in to kiss her cheek. He lingers for a moment, then stalks off towards his meetings.</p>
<p>“How very touching.”</p>
<p>Mai’s blood runs cold. Azula springs from behind a pillar, a cat-like smile curling her lips.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Princess Azula.”</p>
<p>“You and Zuzu seem quite <i>close</i> these days.”</p>
<p>“He’s my husband,” Mai reminds her.</p>
<p>Azula gives a derisive snort.</p>
<p>“Everyone on the high court has a husband, and hardly any of them would deign to be kissed in public.”</p>
<p>“My husband is a prince of the Fire Nation,” Mai says without emotion. “It is my duty to submit to his wishes.”</p>
<p>“And he wishes to kiss you on the cheek like some sort of lovesick fool? Hah!”</p>
<p>Terror and anger hammers against Mai’s chest. She wants to rip off her new crown and stab it into Azula’s heart.</p>
<p>“Zuko is not a fool. You would do well to remember that, Azula.”</p>
<p>“Is that a threat?”</p>
<p>Azula paces in a slow circle around Mai, like a lion-shark hunting its prey. Mai stands ramrod straight and stares ahead without blinking.</p>
<p>“I would never threaten a member of the royal family.”</p>
<p>“Hm.”</p>
<p>Azula’s tone is doubtful, but Mai’s stony expression does not change. Azula sighs.</p>
<p>“Very well. I suppose you should get to your party-planning committee. I hear Lady Shi is quite upset that you won’t consider her ideas.”</p>
<p>“She wants to throw a party in memory of Admiral Zhao.”</p>
<p>“So? He <i>did</i> perish in the recent siege against the Northern Water Tribe. Did Zuzu not tell you? Oh, that’s right — he was too cowardly to speak up against it this time.”</p>
<p>“More like you didn’t let him into the meeting,” Mai says under her breath.</p>
<p>“What was that?”</p>
<p>“I said,” Mai replies innocently, “that Zuko didn’t get along with Zhao.”</p>
<p>“That’s true. Is that why you won’t throw a party in Zhao’s honor?”</p>
<p>“No. It’s because Lady Shi wanted to celebrate Zhao’s victories in the Lu-Deng province of the Earth Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“And?”</p>
<p>“And what he did was technically a war crime.”</p>
<p>“Those allegations were never proven.”</p>
<p>“Fire Lord Ozai has a stack of civilian’s burned shoes on display in the eastern gallery.”</p>
<p>“Those could have come from anywhere.”</p>
<p>“Azula,” Mai says sharply. “Your father is a monster.”</p>
<p>She knows it is risky to show such emotion; speaking about the Fire Lord this way was practically treason. But there is a small part of her — a very small part — that still believes that Azula could do the right thing. </p>
<p>Azula’s face hardens.</p>
<p>“What would you know about monsters?” Azula spits.</p>
<p>Mai says nothing.</p>
<p>“I will fight for the glory of the Fire Nation, just as my father has,” Azula hisses. “And there’s nothing you or your precious Zuzu can do about it, so stay out of my way.”</p>
<p>Mai closes her eyes. This is why she keeps her feelings to herself. It is stupid to have faith in people.</p>
<p>“Yes, Princess Azula.”</p>
<p>Azula dismisses Mai with a wave. Mai trudges off to meet Lady Shi. There’s no point in resisting any more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Royal life is unendingly frustrating for Mai. She abhors boredom, and yet her entire identity becomes associated with the idleness of the high court. She plans party after party, filling her days with conversations about nothing of any consequence. She longs to be doing something real; she sees now why Zuko is so obsessed with duty. At least his duties give him something to do, even if they aren’t very glamorous,.</p>
<p>There is, however, one huge improvement in Mai’s life. It turns out that sex is not the chore she had been warned about before her marriage. Sex is <i>very</i> entertaining.</p>
<p>Naturally, there are awkward moments. The scroll had been quite specific about communication before, during, and after sex. Mai and Zuko have to blush and stammer to say what they want. With practice it becomes easier, and they are fortunate that they both want a <i>lot</i> of practice.</p>
<p>Zuko usually initiates their morning sessions, while Mai prefers to unwind at night. Mai has never heard of couples coming together twice a day, but the two of them do so whenever there aren’t royal duties that get in the way. They try out different positions presented in the scroll — usually, one of them leaves the scroll open on the table in the hopes that they other will take the hint. Mai quickly discovers that this is not the best strategy. If she is direct, she gets what she wants faster and, as a bonus, it seems to make Zuko very happy. Even after almost a month of their trysts, he still seems surprised when she asks him to bed her. Mai finds it odd that Zuko can be so self assured in some ways — his certainty that he would find a way to restore his honor, for example — and so terribly insecure others.</p>
<p>Part of her worries that they might be overheard — she wouldn’t put it past Azula to send a servant to spy on them — but Mai doesn’t bother quieting herself when they are together. It is her way of reminding Zuko that he is deserving of her praise and affection. That, and it feels so deliciously <i>good</i>.</p>
<p>Twice more they venture out into the city at night. On the second occasion, Zuko takes her in a darkened alley, and Mai thinks she might combust from desire. She frequently daydreams about it when she is supposed to be listening to members of the high court. She feels like a ship bobbing on a turbulent sea: high, cresting peaks with Zuko, and crushing lows the rest of the time.</p>
<p>The heat of summer starts to wane. Mai thinks nothing of it until she and Zuko are summoned for an audience with Fire Lord Ozai. They are both too nervous to even look at each other. They enter the throne room together, kneeling and bowing as low as they can.</p>
<p>“Many blessings to the happy couple.”</p>
<p>Ozai’s voice is quiet but steely. Mai’s stomach knots itself.</p>
<p>“Zuko,” Ozai continues imperiously, “have you forgotten our conversation before your wedding?”</p>
<p>“No, Father.”</p>
<p>“Then you know why you are here.”</p>
<p>Fury wars with Mai’s fear. Ozai is alluding to the fact that Mai is still not with child despite almost three months of marriage. Not only is she insulted to be ignored by Ozai — it would be her child, too, after all — but she is incensed that he would badger Zuko about it so soon. She knows for a fact that her parents had been married for three years before she came along.</p>
<p>“Father…” Zuko begins.</p>
<p>“I am not interested in excuses,” Ozai says. “You would do well to remember, Zuko, that you are without honor so long as you do not prove yourself. If you have failed even in this…”</p>
<p>“Father,” Zuko pleads. “It has hardly been a full season.”</p>
<p>“It took less than that to conceive you,” Ozai retorts. “Although given how much of a disappointment you turned out to be, perhaps I <i>should</i> permit you some more time. Your honeymoon is almost over. Don’t let it end on a sour note.”</p>
<p>Ozai jerks his head towards the door. Zuko and Mai scramble to bow and escape. Even though Zuko has meetings all morning, he and Mai walk straight back to their chambers and lock the door.</p>
<p>Zuko paces the study, his body tense like a coiled cobra-mantis.</p>
<p>“What do you want to do?” she asks quietly. She feels sick with anxiety and about what she is about to propose.</p>
<p>Zuko groans.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Our honeymoon period lasts another two weeks. I could stop taking the black lotus tea now and…”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says firmly, fixing her with a sharp look. “We’re not having a baby.”</p>
<p>“You talk about your honor all the time,” Mai reminds him. “If this is the only way…”</p>
<p>“That’s no reason to have a child,” Zuko says. “Besides, you don’t want a baby.”</p>
<p>“I don’t,” Mai agrees. “But I want to help you.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s resolute stance crumbles. He slumps into a chair and buries his face in his hands.</p>
<p>“You can’t help me,” he croaks. “It’s my problem to fix.”</p>
<p>“You would help me, wouldn’t you?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“Then why won’t you let me help you?”</p>
<p>“It’s not fair,” Zuko says savagely. “You didn’t ask for any of this.”</p>
<p>“Neither did you.”</p>
<p>“I was born into it.”</p>
<p>“That’s not the same thing.”</p>
<p>Zuko lets out a strangled sound. Mai reaches out a hand to touch his shoulder.</p>
<p>“We’ll think of something,” she tells him. “Your father can’t control our lives. He tried to do it to you before, but there’s two of us now. We outnumber him.”</p>
<p>“He’s more powerful.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. But you never give up, Zuko. And I’m not giving up either.”</p>
<p>Zuko rubs at his scar distractedly. After a minute, he sighs.</p>
<p>“You’ve always been brave, Mai.”</p>
<p>“I’m not,” she insists.</p>
<p>“Yes, you are. You could have run from this. You <i>should</i> have run from this.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I’m just stupid then.”</p>
<p>“No, not stupid. Brave.”</p>
<p>Zuko sighs and reaches out to pull her to him. Mai’s heart flutters. She had noticed he would reach for her when he was feeling stressed of late. She doubts he realizes he is doing it, but Mai understands. It is nice to know there is someone else in the darkness. Mai holds him tightly until she feels him relax.</p>
<p>“Let’s play hooky,” she suggests.</p>
<p>“I’m supposed to meet with Minister Ying about the trade deals with colonies, and then Councilwoman Kai to talk about mining contracts in the southern provinces.”</p>
<p>“Tell them you’re sick.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need another reason for my father to think I’m weak.”</p>
<p>Mai steps away, disappointment welling inside her. Zuko glances at her and something changes in his expression.</p>
<p>“I haven’t taken you to the student quarter of town,” Zuko says slowly. “It’s not much these days — most people our age have been drafted to the war front, but there are some things worth seeing.”</p>
<p>“You can go to your meetings, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“I can’t,” he says with a shrug. “I’m sick.”</p>
<p>Mai can’t fight off her grin. The two of them change into their simplest clothes and vault their way out of the palace.</p>
<p>It is a more sedate outing than usual. It is too great a risk to be seen in dark pubs and alleys. Instead, they stroll through the grounds of the university and the adjoining parks. The buildings are beautiful and grand, but hauntingly empty. Mai wonders how the Fire Nation can hope to keep control of all of their holdings after the war ends if there are no more great minds to run the nation.</p>
<p>Despite the risk, they cannot resist one daring climb onto the top of a library that faces the setting sun. Mai leans against Zuko’s shoulder and sighs.</p>
<p>“I could try to kill him,” she offers. “Ozai, I mean.”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko responds sharply.</p>
<p>“Because you don’t want him dead, or because you don’t want me to get in trouble?”</p>
<p>Zuko does not reply.</p>
<p>Mai sighs again and they lapse into a long silence. Mai feels a cloud hanging over them as they make their way home. When they turn towards each other before bed, the usual spark of lust is absent. Mai doesn’t mind — it feels nice just to hold one another— but she fears that Ozai has ruined her happiness just when she has started allowing herself to feel it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Mai bids Zuko goodbye the next morning, she watches him walk away from her with his shoulders hunched. She decides it might be a good idea for her to play hooky, too.</p>
<p>She is lucky to find Iroh enjoying a cup of tea in his rooms when she arrives. She hopes that tea will put him in a good mood to receive her idea.</p>
<p>Iroh is, indeed, quite receptive. More than that, he cuts short their meeting to begin planning. Mai has never seen Iroh leave a teacup unfinished before. For the first time, she recognizes the depth of Iroh’s love for his nephew.</p>
<p>It takes two days to make arrangements, but when Mai visits Iroh again, he gives her a relieved smile.</p>
<p>“Fire Lord Ozai has agreed to my proposal,” he tells her.</p>
<p>“Good,” Mai replies. “I’ll go pack.”</p>
<p>When she arrives home, Zuko is already there.</p>
<p>“I thought you had meetings all morning,” she says, arching an eyebrow.</p>
<p>The look on Zuko’s face makes her freeze.</p>
<p>“Did you know about this?” he hisses.</p>
<p>Mai’s brow rises higher still.</p>
<p>“My father just announced that we are being sent on a tour of Fire Nation holdings,” Zuko says, almost vibrating with rage. “We’re being exiled.”</p>
<p>“We’re not being exiled,” Mai says calmly, trying to diffuse some of Zuko’s fury. “It’s tradition. Newlywed royal family members take a tour around the country to get to know their people.”</p>
<p>“No one has done it in a hundred years!”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“So it makes us look bad!” Zuko shouts. “Like we can’t handle the pressures of court.”</p>
<p>“We <i>can’t</i> handle the pressures of court, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine!” Zuko roars. “And if I want to regain my honor, I need —“</p>
<p>“Enough about your honor!” Mai snaps.</p>
<p>Flame licks at Zuko’s fists as he rounds on her.</p>
<p>“You had no right!” he shouts. “You went behind my back and got my uncle to arrange this.”</p>
<p>“I was trying to help —“ she starts.</p>
<p>“You made everything worse! My father already thinks I’m a coward, and now it looks like I’m running away!”</p>
<p>“No one will think that.”</p>
<p>“<i>Everyone</i> will think that, and you know it! How could you do this to me?”</p>
<p>“To <i>you</i>?” Mai feels herself flush with anger. “What about me? You think I like sitting around planning stupid parties and listening to people say cruel things about you? Things will only get worse if we stay here, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“So what, we should just run away from our problems? Is that your grand solution?”</p>
<p>Mai looks away. In truth, she had not thought much beyond the immediate danger they faced. </p>
<p>“Without my honor, I have nothing,” Zuko rasps, his shoulders slumping.</p>
<p><i>You have me</i>, Mai thinks. Tears sting her eyes. She stares down at the floor to avoid Zuko’s gaze. She thinks it might not even matter; he seems so wrapped in his own thoughts, he barely seems to notice her.</p>
<p>“Azula is right,” Zuko continues, his voice heating again. “Father will use this as an excuse to keep me away. I won’t be able to return until I’ve regained my honor, and I can’t do that on this stupid <i>cultural ambassadorship</i> trip.”</p>
<p>“It’s still better than being stuck here,” she says dully.</p>
<p>Zuko lets out out a yell of frustration. Mai can feel herself retreating. She remains perfectly immobile as the air around her compresses, forcing her very essence back into a cramped space in her chest.</p>
<p>“I’m always one step behind,” Zuko says bitterly. “People are always plotting and scheming to get what they want, and I don’t see it until I’m caught up in it. But I never expected it from <i>you</i>.”</p>
<p>Zuko storms out, brushing past the servants hurrying towards the house. Mai watches him go, stone-faced. The servants ask her what to pack first, but Mai does not speak. She can barely think straight as people buzz around her, packing and rearranging Mai and Zuko’s meager belongings.</p>
<p>She waits, but Zuko does not return. Even after night has fallen there is no sign of Zuko. Mai rests fitfully on the chaise — it seems like a farce to sleep in their bed alone — and when dawn breaks, she heads down to greet the ship without him.</p>
<p><i>It’s better this way</i>, she thinks. It is safer to be by herself. Zuko might be her husband, but he is not her partner.</p>
<p>Mai is, and always has been, alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't worry, we're not even at the half-way mark yet ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Rough Waters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mai and Iroh wait uncomfortably for Zuko’s arrival at the docks. The ship is scheduled to leave before the tide pulls away, and the water is dropping dangerously low. Just before they lose their chance, Zuko appears. It does not escape Mai’s attention that he has traveled from the direction of the seedy side of town rather than the palace. </p>
<p>There is a dark look on his face as he takes in the ship before them. Mai knows little about boats, but even she can tell that this one is insultingly small. This trip would not be the grand tour of tradition. This would be an exercise in humiliation, and Mai had been stupid to think otherwise.</p>
<p>Guilt and anger burn in the pit of her stomach. She knows it was wrong to set up this trip without telling Zuko; she would have been furious at him if the roles were reversed. Yet she cannot shake the feeling that this had been the right decision. Mai had sensed that Zuko had used up the last of his father’s patience. Ozai could not remold Zuko into the son that he wanted, and soon he would have no use for him any more. Zuko had been growing bolder in meetings — the radical agenda of his rice reallocation plan had been all the court had gossiped about for weeks — and Mai knew that the next time Ozai tried to punish Zuko, he would leave more than a scar.</p>
<p>Despite her conviction that leaving the capital city was the safest option, Mai knows that her execution was tactless. She isolates herself to give Zuko space. Their chambers include a main room with a large bed and a small study with a cot. Mai claims the cot for herself, but spends most of her time skulking around the ship so Zuko can read over his scrolls in the study alone. She doesn’t want to be anywhere near shouting distance from him, which is difficult on such a small vessel.</p>
<p>She had forgotten the lessons of her childhood of late. It was safest to stay small, to stay quiet. Now, she had made the mistake of caring about Zuko, and it had only made both of them miserable.</p>
<p>She would not be so foolish again.</p>
<p>Iroh tries to draw her into conversation, but Mai sticks to demur nods of her head. Her attempts to avoid an argument only seem to make things worse, however. Zuko glares at her throughout their meals, stalking off to the study when she gives a banal opinion about the weather. Mai finds this behavior confusing. She has always been trained that saying as little as possible would lead to smooth sailing, but the waters between her and Zuko seem rougher with every hour of silence.</p>
<p>The only hint she has that Zuko does not entirely loathe her is the freshly brewed cup of black lotus tea he leaves for her each morning by her bed. She considers not drinking it — there is no need for that sort of thing any longer — but out of habit she drains her cup each morning. She tries and fails not to think about the warm nights they had so recently spent wrapped in each other’s arms.</p>
<p>The ship sets course for Omashu, as it is traditional to visit the home of the bride first. It is a long journey by sea, so they make a stop on Shuhon Island to resupply with fresh fruits and vegetables. Mai is relieved that they retain some royal benefits; most merchant or military ships would just survive on hard tack for the bulk of the journey.</p>
<p>Fire Fountain City is not Mai’s preferred stopping point, but the sailors insist that this town will have the best supplies. Mai thinks that the crew are more attracted to the gambling scene, but she says nothing about it. She follows meekly behind Zuko as he is given a grand tour of the city. The mayor himself shows them around. His attempts to flatter his royal guests do not quite go as planned.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” the mayor says in an obsequious tone, “we are so honored to receive you and your bride. Our town is one of the many jewels of the Fire Nation, I’m sure you’ll agree.”</p>
<p>“Uh, yes,” Zuko says uncomfortably.</p>
<p>“We have provided the best entertainment for you this evening, Your Highness.”</p>
<p>“That’s not necessary,” Zuko says quickly.</p>
<p>“Oh, but we simply must!” the mayor gushes. “Our theater here is unparalleled. We have arranged for a private viewing for you and your wife.”</p>
<p>“A private viewing?”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course. It would be unseemly to have royal blood mix with commoners.”</p>
<p>“So the whole theater will be empty? Won’t the actors be offended there are only two people clapping for them?”</p>
<p>The mayor looks flummoxed.</p>
<p>“But surely you do not want to spend time amongst people of lower station than you!”</p>
<p>“I don’t care about anyone’s station,” Zuko says grumpily.</p>
<p>“Very well, Your Highness,” the mayor says, looking concerned. “I will try to find a suitable crowd.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter who else is there. We’re all sitting in the dark anyway.”</p>
<p>The mayor’s mouth flaps open and closed a few times.</p>
<p>“Whatever His Highness wishes,” the man says weakly.</p>
<p>The theater is packed in the evening. The locals seem to be dressed in their finest outfits and look wholly uninterested in the play. Every man, woman, and child cranes their necks around to look for the Fire Nation Prince and his new bride. Mai and Zuko, tucked away with Iroh in one of the boxes high up, pretend not to notice. The moment the play ends, there is complete silence until Zuko brings his hands together to clap. Only then does the crowd explode into rapturous cheering.</p>
<p>Mai assumes that Zuko would enjoy this newfound respect — everyone around them seems eager to do whatever the young prince would like — but he seems to hate it.</p>
<p>“Why is everyone <i>staring</i>?” he complains under his breath to Iroh.</p>
<p>“They have never seen royalty before,” Iroh explains.</p>
<p>“Haven’t you been here before, Uncle?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but I usually travel with a… lower profile.”</p>
<p>Zuko gives a disgruntled snort.</p>
<p>“Wish we could do that.”</p>
<p>“It pleases the people to see you, Nephew,” Iroh says gently.</p>
<p>“They’re not pleased,” Zuko says darkly. “They’re afraid. You’ve seen that giant statue of my father in the middle of town. They know if they displease the Crown, there will be consequences.”</p>
<p>Mai remains silent, but she thinks Zuko might be onto something. His theory certainly matched everyone’s behavior.</p>
<p>They leave the theater last, as Iroh insists on personally congratulating every actor. The mayor, who has been following them around all day like an anxious eel-hound, leads them out front.</p>
<p>Fire Fountain City has a reputation of housing a rather unsavory crowd. Zuko, Mai, and Iroh are given an armed guard at night, and a phalanx of foot soldiers greets them on the theater steps. The mayor apologizes profusely for the lack of a palanquin, but Zuko waves him off. He keeps trying to walk ahead of the guards, but they box him back in between them. Mai can sense Zuko’s anger boiling under the surface. She dreads being trapped back on the ship with him.</p>
<p>There is the sound of metal clattering in an alleyway, and the guards turn as one to face it. There is a yelp, and a soldier yanks a boy of eight out of the shadows.</p>
<p>“State your business!” he yells, spittle flying from his mouth.</p>
<p>The boy looks too terrified to speak. Mai can see that the metallic sound had been a tin cup the boy had dropped. He has no shoes and wears a filthy tunic. He has the look of someone who has not eaten in far too long.</p>
<p>“Put him down,” Zuko orders the guard.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” the guard protests, “street urchins like this are more than they appear. He could be a scout, or a diversion for an ambush, or —“</p>
<p>“Or he could be a scared child. <i>Put him down</i>,” Zuko growls.</p>
<p>The guard frowns and releases the child, who falls awkwardly and struggles to sit up. Zuko bends to pick up the tin cup.</p>
<p>“Are you alright?”</p>
<p>The boy looks even more petrified of Zuko than the guard. Zuko looks around to Mai, eyebrow raised in question.</p>
<p>She is not particularly gifted with children, but she is less socially awkward than Zuko. She can’t quite manage a warm, motherly tone, but ver voice isn’t as dull as usual.</p>
<p>“What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Koji.”</p>
<p>“Where do you live?”</p>
<p>The boy swallows, addressing Mai while his wide eyes flit around the army of guards.</p>
<p>“In there,” he says, pointing to a dilapidated building.</p>
<p>“Why are you outside?”</p>
<p>“I can’t go home yet.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Koji looks at the ground, fidgeting. </p>
<p>“My mom is working.”</p>
<p>Mai shares a look with Zuko and then with Iroh. She guesses they all have the same idea about what work a woman could be doing that would necessitate sending a child out onto the street so late at night.</p>
<p>“We can take you home,” Zuko says firmly. “You shouldn’t be out here alone.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” the mayor says from beside them. “Forgive my interruption, but there is no need to assist this boy. I know his mother. She’ll only turn him out again.”</p>
<p>“She has to work,” Koji argues. “Otherwise we won’t have anything to eat.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” the mayor continues in a stage whisper over the boy’s protests. “His mother is a rather… unsavory woman. You should not lower yourself to help such people.”</p>
<p>Zuko ignores the mayor and gives the boy an evaluating look.</p>
<p>“Where is your father, Koji?”</p>
<p>Koji looks back at the ground again.</p>
<p>“He didn’t come back from the war.”</p>
<p>“If he was a soldier, his widow should receive a pension.” Zuko turns to the mayor, frowning. “Doesn’t your office distribute pensions?”</p>
<p>The mayor’s face takes on a slightly purple hue.</p>
<p>“Yes, Your Highness. But this boy’s mother is, like I said, a disreputable sort. The wares she sells are not, ah… entirely tangible, so to speak.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter,” Zuko says, still frowning. “If they were legally married, she’s still entitled to her husband’s pension.”</p>
<p>Zuko turns back to the boy, looking slightly uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“How long has your mom had this… job?”</p>
<p>“Since spring.”</p>
<p>“And when did you get the news that your dad…”</p>
<p>“In the winter,” Koji says, still looking nervous at the attention of the guards. “Mom used to be a seamstress, but when Dad died, he couldn’t send us his wages anymore. We lost the apartment because the owner didn’t want us there. My mom’s new job makes more money, but I don’t like it.” His eyes well with tears. “Mom doesn’t like it either, but she says I have to be brave and stay out of trouble. I’m sorry I was in the alley. <i>Please</i> don’t send me to jail.”</p>
<p>“No one is going to jail,” Zuko says firmly. “Except whoever is messing with the pension distribution.”</p>
<p>The mayor sputters.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, I can assure you —“</p>
<p>“We are taking Koji home,” Zuko interrupts. “And then we are going straight to your office.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness, it is the middle of the night!”</p>
<p>“Yes, and I’m going to take a look at your books before you can alter them by morning. Come on.”</p>
<p>The guard, for once, lets Zuko lead. Mai walks just behind him. Koji slips his hand in hers and she holds it tightly.</p>
<p>Koji’s mother is alone when they arrive. She, too, looks disheveled and terrified. Interestingly, it is not Zuko who frightens her, but the mayor and the soldiers.</p>
<p>“Koji, what happened?” his mother says quickly. “Officers, I am so sorry. Koji is a good boy. Whatever happened —“</p>
<p>“Nothing happened,” Zuko interjects. “But we need you to come with us to the war dispensation office right now.”</p>
<p>The woman blinks, confused.</p>
<p>“I was told that I was not allowed to return to the war dispensation office. My claim was refused.”</p>
<p>“You were married to a soldier, were you not?”</p>
<p>The grief on the woman’s face makes Mai’s heart twist.</p>
<p>“My husband was a good man. He was a corporal in the 114th division. They were fighting earthbenders and there was rock slide. They never even found his body to send home to us…”</p>
<p>The woman starts to weep. Zuko and Mai share an uneasy glance.</p>
<p>“Why did the office refuse your claim?” Zuko asks.</p>
<p>The woman shoots a look at the mayor, whose eyes are bulging from his head. Mai steps in front of him, blocking him from view. The woman seems less intimidated and explains.</p>
<p>“I was told that because there was no body found, there was no proof that my husband had not defected. But he would <i>never</i> do such a thing. He was loyal — he wanted to defend the Fire Nation. But no one listened, and when he died, we had to pay back his wages.”</p>
<p>“What?” Zuko yelps.</p>
<p>“Well, yes,” the woman says, slightly confused. “I was told that the families of anyone who defected had to return wages because they had betrayed our country. It was everything we had left, and I was forced to… to…”</p>
<p>The woman gives a shudder, shame and grief clouding her face. Zuko turns stiffly to the mayor.</p>
<p>“How many people did you accuse of defecting?” he growls, his chest heaving with anger.</p>
<p>“Your Highness…”</p>
<p>“<i>How many?</i>” Zuko roars. Flames erupt from his fists, and several guards spring back in alarm. Mai notices that the only people who don’t look afraid are Koji and his mother, who stare at Zuko in awe.</p>
<p>The mayor is reduced to a blubbering mess. Zuko looks disgusted.</p>
<p>“We’re going to your office right now. Come on.”</p>
<p>It is a long, brutal evening. Zuko personally sorts through all of the pay stubs from the war office for the previous month. Koji’s mother helps, identifying the names of war widows who had also been denied pensions. Iroh and Mai are tasked with digging through records while the mayor tries to plead for Zuko’s leniency. Everyone ignores him.</p>
<p>Iroh finds the prize: proof that the pensions had been diverted into the private funds of the mayor and several of his cronies. All of them are arrested before dawn breaks.</p>
<p>“This is a disaster,” Zuko moans. His head thumps down onto the mountain of scrolls in front of him.</p>
<p>“That depends on your perspective,” Mai mumbles distractedly as she compares financial records.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Mai blinks. Zuko had not spoken directly to her in almost a week. She flushes slightly at the intensity of his stare.</p>
<p>“Well, you got Koji’s mother her money back. And there’s already a line around the block to protest all the pension office claims. This is going to be a big scandal, but for once it’s about something that actually matters.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks slightly taken aback. He appears to mull over Mai’s words for a few minutes before looking dismayed again.</p>
<p>“We’re supposed to leave tonight,” he reminds her. “Unmasking the mayor is a start, but who’s to say that things won’t just go right back to the way they were as soon as we leave?”</p>
<p>“That sounds like something I would say,” Mai mutters darkly.</p>
<p>“So you agree?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to,” she admits. “But it’s a fair point. Rooting out corruption doesn’t happen overnight.”</p>
<p>Zuko goes quiet and turns back to his scrolls. Several more hours pass before he stands stiffly.</p>
<p>“You should rest,” he says.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“We both should rest,” he amends.</p>
<p>Mai pauses. The columns of numbers she’s sifting through swim on the page in front of her. She sets down the scroll with a sigh.</p>
<p>“Fine. Let’s go.”</p>
<p>They walk back to the ship, blinking in the high noon sun.</p>
<p>“I thought about what you said. About not being able to root out corruption overnight.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to stay longer?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Your parents will be insulted if we delay.”</p>
<p>Mai wants to protest that she doesn’t care what her parents think, but Zuko looks anxious at the prospect of upsetting his in-laws.</p>
<p>“So what’s your idea?” Mai asks.</p>
<p>“We’re leaving, but people like Koji’s mom are going to have to clean up the mess we left. We won’t be around to do it, but she will. If we can create positions of power and oversight, maybe we could avoid something like this happening again. You read those records — the mayor basically runs the town without anyone else’s input. He doesn’t even have a small council! He was appointed by my father five years ago and there haven’t been any plans to hold an election for a new mayor, despite that being a promise that was made to the people.”</p>
<p>This last piece of news gives Mai pause.</p>
<p>“Your dad appointed him?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Ozai isn’t going to like hearing that his selection was arrested.”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko grimaces. “But even my father can’t stand behind a man who was embezzling.”</p>
<p>Mai looks doubtful. Zuko catches her eye.</p>
<p>“He might still <i>want</i> to support the mayor,” Zuko clarifies. “But you’re right — this will be a huge scandal. My father is smart; he won’t want his name associated with this.”</p>
<p>Mai nods, although privately she worries that Zuko has too much faith in his father. It is true that Ozai is clever, but he is also proud. To be caught out as a supporter of a crook by his own son… Mai worries that this will not end well.</p>
<p>They board the ship, walking down towards their chambers. When they enter the room, they both freeze. </p>
<p>Mai glances at the study where she has been sleeping. She wants to break the tension between her and Zuko, but neither of them has apologized yet, and she’s too tired to deal with all the complicated emotions she’s been repressing.</p>
<p>“It’s cold in my bed,” she complains.</p>
<p>“You can share with me,” Zuko offers cautiously.</p>
<p>She nods and the two of them climb on top of the covers. It is midday and quite warm — no need to share body heat — but Mai curls into Zuko’s side anyway. He wraps an arm around her. Mai feels a lump rise in her throat. Her feelings bubble and hiss inside her, anxiety and sadness and longing roiling in her gut. She has to fight hard to stay quiet. Sleep, however, pulls her down, and within minutes she is nodding off against Zuko’s solid chest.</p>
<p>When she wakes, Zuko still has his arm around her. He is glaring up at the ceiling, but his expression softens when he notices Mai stirring.</p>
<p>“How long have we been asleep?” she asks hoarsely.</p>
<p>“Not long,” Zuko replies. “The sun is still high.”</p>
<p>Mai nods, debating whether she should just go back to sleep, when a thought makes her bolt upright.</p>
<p>“What is is?” Zuko says, looking alarmed.</p>
<p>“My tea. I didn’t drink it today.”</p>
<p>Zuko is out of bed before Mai can stop him.</p>
<p>“I’ll make it.”</p>
<p>“It’s my tea,” Mai protests. “I can—“</p>
<p>“I’ll make it,” Zuko says firmly.</p>
<p>Mai is slightly irritated to be coddled, but she can tell it would only make things worse to deny Zuko the opportunity to prove himself. As they wait for her tea to cool, Zuko sits back on the edge of the bed. Both of them stare down at their feet. Mai speaks first.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Mai feels Zuko turn to look at her, but she keeps her eyes cast downwards.</p>
<p>“It was wrong of me to go behind your back,” Mai continues. “I would have been really angry if you did it to me.”</p>
<p>Zuko sighs.</p>
<p>“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he rasps.</p>
<p>Mai turns and frowns at him.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“I was selfish. You were trying to help me, but I wasn’t trying to help you. I want to regain my honor — I <i>need</i> to regain my honor — but I didn’t think about how it was affecting you. You were miserable in the palace, and I didn’t do anything about it.”</p>
<p>“It’s not your job to make me happy,” Mai points out.</p>
<p>“Maybe not, but I shouldn’t be doing things that make you unhappy.”</p>
<p>Mai looks back down to her feet, feeling her face redden.</p>
<p>“You weren’t,” she says quietly. “You were doing the opposite.”</p>
<p>Zuko reaches out a tentative hand. Mai takes it. Silence hangs heavily over them.</p>
<p>“I was thinking,” Zuko says slowly. “Maybe we should stay here for another day or two. Until the dust settles.”</p>
<p>“That seems like a good idea.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Mai downs her tea and they leave their chambers together. Town Hall is still in disarray when they arrive, but the small crowd out front turns from hostile to cheery when they spot Zuko and Mai.</p>
<p>“Prince Zuko!” a woman gushes, bowing extravagantly. “We are so grateful for your help. The war office has denied our claims for months. Thanks to you, our children will have food to eat again.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks uncomfortable at the attention, but Mai notices the wideness of his eyes at the praise. She squeezes his hand.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Prince Zuko, and you, Lady Mai,” another woman says, her eyes brimming with tears. “I have four young sons, and without the war office funds, I cannot send them to school any longer.”</p>
<p>“No school?” Zuko asks sharply. “Why not?”</p>
<p>The woman looks caught off guard. She glances at her friends, confused, before speaking again.</p>
<p>“Schooling is expensive, Your Highness.”</p>
<p> Mai removes her hand from Zuko’s before he crushes it in anger.</p>
<p>“Fire Nation schools are supposed to be free to all,” Zuko says tightly. “Who is imposing fees?”</p>
<p>“Oh, everyone,” the woman says, looking a bit more nervous now. “The administrators always need something. Even the teachers ask for money if you want them to teach your child for a full day instead of just half.”</p>
<p>“Where is the nearest school?”</p>
<p>The woman points down the road. Zuko turns to Mai, looking pained.</p>
<p>“You go,” she insists. “I’ll take care of this,” she adds, jerking her head to Town Hall behind her.</p>
<p>Zuko nods and she watches him stride off, his regal strut somewhat hampered by his leaning down to listen to the women around him. Mai suppresses a smirk as she turns back towards her task. Fire Fountain City was about to undergo some major changes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two days in the city turns into a week. By the end, Mai and Zuko sail away with some confidence that corruption has been, if not eradicated, then at least dealt a serious blow. Zuko insists on setting up a contact relay with Koji’s mother to keep informed about the news of the city. Mai thought the woman was going to faint when Zuko suggested she be given access to royal messenger hawks.</p>
<p>They make a beeline to Omashu to pay their respects to Mai’s parents. They are greeted with modest fanfare. The citizens of Omashu line the streets to watch the royal procession pass. Mai and Zuko remain stone faced throughout, but Iroh gives a cheery wave to the gawking children.</p>
<p>“Welcome to Omashu, Prince Zuko,” Mai’s father says with a sweeping bow. “It is an honor to have you in our great city.”</p>
<p>Zuko twitches slightly at the word ‘honor,’ but bows in response. Mai bows as well, but is offered no greeting by her parents. She didn’t really expect any, but it still stings.</p>
<p>Tom-Tom, on the other hand, breaks protocol to run straight at Mai’s knees.</p>
<p>“Mai!’ he squeals excitedly. “Come see my new toys!”</p>
<p>Mai’s parents both pale at this outburst, their eyes flying to Zuko and Iroh in panic. Mai tries not to roll her eyes, and scoops Tom-Tom into her arms.</p>
<p>“Oof,” she says, buckling a bit. “You’ve gotten so big.”</p>
<p>“I’m the fourth tallest in my class!” he says proudly.</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah?” Mai says, faintly amused. “Who’s tallest?”</p>
<p>“Jin-bo, but he’s four and three-quarters.”</p>
<p>“Ah,” Mai replies with a sage nod of her head. “A whole quarter of a year ahead of you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Tom-Tom says, looking gratified that Mai understood the gravity of his situation. “C’mon, let’s go play.”</p>
<p>Mai looks over at her parents, whose faces are frozen in polite smiles. She can tell they are torn between honoring the wishes of their favorite child and putting up a stoic front for the Fire Nation Royal family. She doesn’t bother hiding her eye roll from them this time.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” she tells Tom-Tom, setting him on the ground. </p>
<p>He darts off without looking back, Mai following at a more sedate pace. She turns to catch Zuko’s eye, but he is already deep in conversation with Mai’s father. She suppresses a smirk; Zuko had been adamant on the ship that he take care to inspect the books of every town they crossed in their travels. It seemed that even Mai’s father would be under scrutiny.</p>
<p>Mai’s fun with her exuberant brother is dampened by the presence of her mother, who follows them towards Tom-Tom’s room. She offers her son smiles and her daughter critiques.</p>
<p>“You wear your crown well,” her mother starts. “But it could use a polish. I could ask the servants…”</p>
<p>“No,” Mai interrupts. “I can do it myself.”</p>
<p>“You are a Princess now. You cannot be expected to do such menial tasks.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take care of it.” She would really rather not have to explain to any servants that her crown disassembled into a deadly weapon if handled improperly.</p>
<p>Mai’s mother purses her lips in a frown.</p>
<p>“You are not with child yet.”</p>
<p>“Mother—“</p>
<p>“It is not always easy to conceive,” her mother continues. “But there are many specialists. You could visit one here, in Omashu. I have heard good things about —“</p>
<p>“No, thank you,” Mai says firmly.</p>
<p>“I did my best with you,” her mother sighs. “And look at you now — a member of the royal family! — and still you brush me aside.”</p>
<p>“It’s only fair,” Mai says evenly despite the hammering of her heart. “It’s what you always did to me.”</p>
<p>“I did what was best for you,” her mother says sternly. “You should be grateful.”</p>
<p>Anger boils inside Mai’s chest. She wants to set it loose — to yell, to scream — but years of her mother’s training are too powerful to override. Instead, she stares blankly ahead.</p>
<p>“Thank you, mother.”</p>
<p>“That’s more like it,” her mother says primly. “Now, tell me what is happening in the royal court these days.”</p>
<p>Mai’s afternoon feels like it lasts a month. Occasionally, Tom-Tom pulls her away to play with him, but her mother always puts a stop to it after a few minutes. Tom-Tom goes back to his toys, alone, and Mai has to sit through an interminable list of inane questions. Her mother doesn’t even want the <i>good</i> gossip — which lords and ladies are sleeping around, who has lost their wealth on gambling and other poor decisions. Instead, Mai is forced to recite what colors are favored for gowns and what types of napkin folds are being used at all the best parties. By the time Mai’s father and Zuko return for dinner, Mai is ready to use the pointed end of her crown on herself.</p>
<p>Dinner is a quiet affair. Iroh, as always, provides a light touch to keep the conversation flowing, but Mai refuses to talk any more than she already has. Zuko shoots her anxious looks all evening. They excuse themselves shortly after the meal under the guise of being tired from their travels. </p>
<p>Mai sheds her clothing and dives under the sheets without speaking. She feels Zuko settle next to her slowly, but she doesn’t turn towards him. He lightly touches her hair, but pulls away when she doesn’t stir.</p>
<p>“Did I do something wrong?”</p>
<p>Mai does roll over now, catching the look of hurt on Zuko’s face.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Mai wants to explain herself, but she doesn’t know how. Sometimes she just didn’t feel like talking — what more was there to say? But she doesn’t like to look of confusion on Zuko’s face, so she forces herself to say something.</p>
<p>“How did it go with my dad?”</p>
<p>“Everything seems in order,” Zuko says, looking relieved. “But it was weird — every time I thought to ask for something else to look at, it was already prepared. It’s like they were waiting for me to ask.”</p>
<p>Curiosity wars with Mai’s sullenness. Eventually, it wins out.</p>
<p>“Maybe people heard about Fire Fountain City,” she suggests. “Maybe my father assumed you’d check up on him, too.”</p>
<p>“It’s not that I don’t trust him,” Zuko says. “I’m sure he’s a good governor.”</p>
<p>Mai is a bit more skeptical, but she suspects that her father is probably too much of a coward to risk embezzling from the Fire Nation.</p>
<p>“What if this happens everywhere we go?” Zuko continues. “Sure, there’s nothing to see here, but the other places… If they have a chance to prepare before they arrive…”</p>
<p>“They could hide their misdeeds,” Mai finishes. “Hm. That is a problem.”</p>
<p>They stare up at the ceiling together, lost in thought.</p>
<p>“Where are we going after Omashu?” she asks after several minutes.</p>
<p>“The Hubei province, then the Laoding valley.”</p>
<p>“Why are we going there?”</p>
<p>Zuko frowns.</p>
<p>“It’s what Uncle suggested. I’m not sure why.”</p>
<p>“Well, what if we changed the order?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks thoughtful.</p>
<p>“That would add an element of surprise… That’s a good idea. I’ll talk to Uncle about it.”</p>
<p>“What, now?” Mai asks, as Zuko stands.</p>
<p>He blinks, looking surprised.</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry. It can wait until morning.”</p>
<p>He slides back into bed and reaches out towards her. This time, she moves into his arms, and she feels him relax under her.</p>
<p>“I hate it here,” she grumbles. It’s the closest she can get to the truth of why she’s so miserable. It’s not a very nuanced statement, but it covers all the bases.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Zuko says, stroking her hair sympathetically.</p>
<p>“I’m used to it,” Mai sighs.</p>
<p>“We don’t have to stay. We can leave whenever you want.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter what I want.”</p>
<p>“Yes, it does,” Zuko says with a frown. “Mai, I’m serious. We can leave in the morning.”</p>
<p>“The crew wouldn’t like that. They’ll probably still be drunk in the morning.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care. We can leave at first light.”</p>
<p>“Your Uncle said he had friends he wanted to see in Omashu.”</p>
<p>“He can write them letters.”</p>
<p>“My parents would be upset.”</p>
<p>For the first time, Zuko’s bravado wavers. He swallows before speaking.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to make things difficult for you with your parents. If you want to leave, we’ll say it’s because of me. I’ll pack our things myself if you want.”</p>
<p>Mai burrows deeper under the covers, squeezing Zuko tightly.</p>
<p>“We can stay,” she says finally. “But the second it’s polite to leave, we’re out of here.”</p>
<p>“Agreed.”</p>
<p>The first day is tolerable, if a bit boring. Mai and Zuko are paraded around the high society of Omashu while Mai’s parents preen with pride. As much as Mai hates dealing with nobles, the ones in Omashu are at least a little more down-to-earth. No one brings up babies or fashion trends. Mai gives a sigh of relief.</p>
<p>Her relief is short-lived: the next day and every day after that, Mai and Zuko are separated. Mai is subjected to increasingly tiresome social engagements. She starts to wonder if people think she lacks a brain. She is given nothing to do and nothing of substance to think or talk about. The most advanced cognition required of her is to serve tea, and it isn’t even a particularly finicky blend like Iroh likes. </p>
<p>Each evening, she returns to her room in a darker mood. Unlike the first night, she doesn’t let Zuko hold her before they go to sleep. They stop touching entirely. Mai retreats in on herself, withdrawing all aspects of personality from her exterior. She even swaps out her dagger crown for the old, plain one. She lets the family servants polish it every morning before she is subjected to more tea parties.</p>
<p>Tradition dictates that the bride’s family host the new couple for at least a week. However, Mai’s parents, being of such high political standing, have requested at least three. As dawn breaks on the seventh day of their stay, Mai wonders how she could possibly endure another minute.</p>
<p>“Are you awake?”</p>
<p>Mai doesn’t bother rolling over to face Zuko. </p>
<p>“The ladies in waiting won’t be here for another half hour,” she says dully. “I’m just going to stay here.”</p>
<p>“Then you’ll miss the boat.”</p>
<p>Mai struggles in the tangled sheets around her. She twists away from the wall.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>She catches sight of Zuko, who is dressed more like a sailor than a prince of the Fire Nation. There is something wild in his expression that, for the first time all week, make a frisson of lust shoot through her.</p>
<p>“We’re leaving,” Zuko says proudly.</p>
<p>“But my parents…”</p>
<p>“Are perfectly happy with their new promotions.”</p>
<p>“Promotions?” Mai asks suspiciously. “My father is already governor.”</p>
<p>“Yes, and because of his good management, he’s being awarded two new members of staff — both of whom I’ve already vetted this week. <i>And</i> there’s a slight pay increase, so your mother can hire another cook like she was hinting at all week.”</p>
<p>Mai gapes at him.</p>
<p>“How did you —?”</p>
<p>“I promised I’d get you out, didn’t I?”</p>
<p>Mai scrambles out of bed and yanks Zuko tightly to her. There is something huge welling inside of her, an emotion that she cannot quite define, but she has felt more and more frequently of late. She doesn’t have the courage to name it yet, but it’s not an entirely unpleasant sensation. It amplifies as Zuko returns her embrace, dipping his head to kiss her temple.</p>
<p>“Let’s get out of here,” she whispers.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More adventures to follow!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. New Feelings, New Faces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko’s plan to investigate corruption on their cultural ambassadorship trip is not without its flaws. Iroh seems happy enough to change course, but the crew grumble about the unpredictability and the locations. Mai, Zuko, and Iroh meet with the ship’s captain, Lieutenant Jee, to discuss their options.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” Jee protests. “Our course was agreed upon for Hubei province.”</p>
<p>“And I’m telling you, that won’t work,” Zuko argues. “We need to go to Prikthep Town first.”</p>
<p>“But Your Highness —“</p>
<p>The argument threatens to go in circles, but Mai recognizes the face of someone hiding their emotions. </p>
<p>“Why do you want to go to Hubei, Lieutenant Jee?”</p>
<p>Both Zuko and Jee turn to stare at her. Iroh, who has opted for quiet neutrality on the discussion, gives Mai an amused smile.</p>
<p>“My lady,” Jee says respectfully. “Hubei was our next planned stop.”</p>
<p>“I know. I asked why <i>you</i> want to go there.”</p>
<p>Jee looks surprised.</p>
<p>“Me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you.”</p>
<p>Jee shoots a nervous look at Zuko.</p>
<p>“It is my duty to follow the orders of Prince Zuko.”</p>
<p>“Can we drop all the formalities?” Mai sighs in frustration. “I <i>know</i> you want to do your job. I also know that you want to go to Hubei for reasons other than it being on the precious schedule. Can you just tell us why?”</p>
<p>Jee considers her for a moment before speaking.</p>
<p>“I suppose there is the advantage that my wife is in Hubei,” Jee says quietly. “I would never deviate from my duties, of course. Our original plan, however, would have offered me a chance to see her for a few days.”</p>
<p>“How long has it been since you last saw her?”</p>
<p>“Two years, my lady.”</p>
<p>Zuko and Mai exchange uncomfortable looks. Mai did not like to imagine having to spend two years apart from Zuko. </p>
<p>“We will go to Hubei,” Zuko says finally. “But sticking to the original plan will make it more difficult to sort out any issues in the places we’re going. They’ll have a chance hide before we get there.”</p>
<p>Jee looks thoughtful.</p>
<p>“Hubei has had many problems of late. It would benefit from some royal oversight. You are right, Prince Zuko. We can send our regrets for now, but arrive at a later time. Assuming you still wish to go there, of course,” he adds hastily.</p>
<p>“Good,” Zuko says, turning back to the large map on the table before them. “Now, where is the rest of the crew from?”</p>
<p>“Your Highness?”</p>
<p>“You’re not the only one who misses someone,” Zuko says reasonably. “If we’re going to visit everyone’s family and clean up the cities we visit, we’re going to need a lot of planning.”</p>
<p>Jee gives Zuko an exceptionally deep bow.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, it is my great honor to do as you wish. If you will permit me, I will ask the crew members to join me throughout the day to ask.”</p>
<p>“Good. I’ll be here, too. I want to hear what they have to say.”</p>
<p>Jee bows again and heads out.</p>
<p>“Well handled, Nephew,” Iroh says, his voice brimming with pride.</p>
<p>“It was Mai who cracked it.” Zuko shifts uncomfortably under his uncle’s praise. He turns to look at her. “That was really smart.”</p>
<p>“I have my moments,” she smirks.</p>
<p>The sailing is fairly smooth after that. The crew seem excited about the new itinerary, and are even more enthusiastic when, at Iroh’s suggestion, Zuko begrudgingly allows a weekly music night. Mai and Zuko sequester themselves in a corner for these engagements, glaring at anyone who suggests that the two of them dance. Mai does, however, press back subtly into Zuko’s chest as they sit, and he wraps an arm tightly around her. She always assumed such public displays of affection would have bothered her, but she finds it is hard to care what anyone thinks when Zuko is so close to her. Her thoughts go slightly fuzzy as he slowly grazes a hand up and down her arm.</p>
<p>When they make landfall, all hell breaks loose. Usually, there is some sort of corruption to deal with; illegal taxation of farmers and drafting of too-young soldiers is common. Zuko, Iroh, and Mai wade through the mess. In the few towns that seem to be in good order, the crew makes the most of visiting their loved ones and throw a raucous party. Mai and Zuko attend to put forth a good image, but often retreat back to the ship early. This way, they can be as loud as they want without anyone the wiser.</p>
<p>They work hard as they journey about the Fire Nation colonies. Even on the ship, there are countless messenger hawks to keep up with. Zuko entrusts Mai with most of the letter-writing — his handwriting is atrocious for someone with a royal education — and Mai knows all the niceties needed to keep things running smoothly. Iroh is helpful, too, and he quickly gathers a list of new locations to expand their ‘cultural ambassadorship’ tour once the crew members’ hometowns have been exhausted.</p>
<p>Despite the work, Mai feels more relaxed than she has in months. The specter of Ozai looms less here. Mai notices a change in Zuko’s demeanor as well. He still has the occasional nightmare, but he no longer turns away from her when he wakes in panic. Instead, he reaches for her, and she reaches back. They rekindle the physical aspect of their relationship, but their touches linger now. Even when they are hard at work, Zuko will look up at her and smile with an unfamiliar tenderness that makes Mai’s palms sweat. The strange emotion welling up within her resurges more and more frequently. Mai is not sure how much longer she can ignore it.</p>
<p>Two months after leaving Omashu, Mai has a particularly bad day. They had spent the past fortnight dealing with the tangled web of misconduct permeating the Tom Sao archipelago, and Mai is feeling worn out. She has been just as involved in uprooting corruption as Zuko, yet she is frequently looked down upon for being his wife. People are smart enough not to complain when Prince Zuko is looking over their shoulders, but they resent her presence and are not afraid to voice their displeasure.</p>
<p>“Do you even know how to balance a budget like this?” the town bursar says snidely as she looks over his books.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” the man tuts doubtfully. “I would feel better if Prince Zuko was handling this. Or General Iroh — he is a man of skill.”</p>
<p>Mai gives him a cold look and goes back to the sheet of paper before her.</p>
<p>“Perhaps you would prefer to join the ladies outside for tea?” he tries again.</p>
<p>“If you’re trying to distract me so I don’t notice this huge gap,” Mai says, pointing down at the page, “then you’re already too late.”</p>
<p>The man goes red, but he doesn’t back down.</p>
<p>“Those are discretionary funds which —“</p>
<p>“Which seem to match a sum paid to your brother for a contract to build a bridge,” Mai says in a silky voice, holding up another sheaf of parchment. “Only I visited that part of town yesterday. There’s no bridge.”</p>
<p>“There have been delays…”</p>
<p>“For six months?”</p>
<p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you silly girl,” the man says hotly.</p>
<p>“Careful,” Mai says dangerously, doing her best imitation of Azula. </p>
<p>There is a sound of metal as she pokes two daggers from the hem of her sleeves. Far from looking intimidated, the man looks even more incensed.</p>
<p>“You think you have power just because you’re a royal plaything,” he hisses. “You’re <i>nothing</i>. You — argh!”</p>
<p>The man’s eyes go wide as Mai’s blades plant themselves a hair’s breadth on either side of his head. His mouth opens soundlessly.</p>
<p>“Men like you are so <i>boring</i>,” Mai sighs. “You pretend you want to fight, but you’ve got nothing to show for it.”</p>
<p>The man’s expression grows angry again, but he remains motionless as one of the ship’s crew members enter the room.</p>
<p>“Is everything alright, my lady? I thought I heard…”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, Li,” Mai says tightly. Li stares, wide-eyed, at Mai’s daggers as she yanks them out from the wall next to her opponent. “Would you mind getting a guard? The bursar is under arrest for misappropriation of funds.”</p>
<p>“How dare—“</p>
<p>But the man falls silent again as Mai holds up her blades threateningly. He is led off without complaint, but his removal takes him past the ladies having tea. Soon, the office is swarmed with eight angry women.</p>
<p>“My husband is innocent!” one screams in Mai’s face.</p>
<p>“Trust me, he’s definitely not.”</p>
<p>“You’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong!”</p>
<p>“I am here on behalf of Prince Zuko. He —“</p>
<p>“He is a disgrace!” the woman says shrilly. “Fire Lord Ozai has made it clear that his son will not inherit the throne. Prince Zuko is weak, and he has no right to meddle in our affairs.”</p>
<p>Mai’s daggers are in her hands. She itches to use them. Some of the women look frightened and back away, but the angriest one seems undeterred.</p>
<p>“You are not a <i>real</i> princess,” she continues with a sneer. “Your husband is a fool to go against his father.”</p>
<p>“He’s not a fool,” Mai says, trying to keep the anger from her voice. “And the bursar broke Fire Nation law.”</p>
<p>“He was appointed by Ozai himself!”</p>
<p>“He still broke the law,” Mai shrugs.</p>
<p>“Hah!” the woman laughs cruelly. “Stupid girl. You don’t understand how any of this works, do you? Laws don’t apply to people like us.”</p>
<p>“They should.”</p>
<p>The woman spits at Mai’s feet. For a moment, Mai is too shocked to react — she has never been spit at before — but before she can use her daggers, the door opens again. Iroh walks in with a dark look on his face.</p>
<p>“I heard raised voices,” he says, looking at Mai.</p>
<p>“General Iroh, this is an outrage,” the woman says, bustling over to him. “We are being treated unjustly by your nephew, and —“</p>
<p>“And you will receive no pity from me, my lady,” Iroh says sternly. “You should be ashamed to defend those who have chosen to rob the Fire Nation of its riches.”</p>
<p>“We did no such thing!” the woman says, although Mai can see she is slightly shaken by this accusation. “Fire Lord Ozai himself —“</p>
<p>“The Fire Lord,” Iroh interrupts, “has deputized us to act as ambassadors. As such, it is our duty to ensure that the laws and culture of our nation are being upheld. I think you would agree, my lady, that the good people of the Fire Nation would not stand for injustice? That we, as a people, do not condone lying and trickery for our own ends?”</p>
<p>Mai disagrees with this — this description certainly sounds like most nobles she knows in the Fire Nation — but even this irate woman isn’t foolish enough to contradict Iroh.</p>
<p>“My apologies,” the woman says, looking both annoyed and cowed by Iroh’s stern demeanor.</p>
<p>“Please excuse us,” he replies, holding open the door.</p>
<p>The women file out. Iroh turns to Mai.</p>
<p>“Are you alright, my dear?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“It is all right if they upset you. Sometimes people lash out when —“</p>
<p>“I said I’m fine. I’m going back to the ship.”</p>
<p>Mai storms out, walking quickly in the direction of the docks. She spends the afternoon throwing daggers across the makeshift training room used for firebending. This usually cheers her up, but the dark cloud doesn’t dissipate. If anything, her anger deepens as the day replays in her head. </p>
<p>When Zuko arrives back on the ship for dinner, Mai is still in a foul mood. She is sullen throughout the meal and hardly speaks to him or Iroh. By the time they retire for bed, Mai has not said more than three words to her husband. He, in return, seems reluctant to speak to her. Mai feels resentment building within her. She had spent all day getting yelled at for being Zuko’s wife, and now he wasn’t even trying to talk to her. She didn’t really want to talk, of course, but he could have at least pretended to care.</p>
<p>They get into bed without speaking. It is clear that this will not be an evening of their usual physical pleasures and they roll to opposite sides of the bed. Mai hears Zuko tossing and turning and feels even more annoyed. He could at least have the decency to fall asleep and let her be angry in peace.</p>
<p>After an hour of glaring at the wall, Zuko’s voice breaks the silence.</p>
<p>“What did I do wrong?”</p>
<p>She turns around to face him. The room is dark, but there is enough moonlight filtering in that she can make out the outline of his scar.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” Zuko adds. “Why are you angry at me?”</p>
<p>“Who said I’m angry at you?”</p>
<p>“You haven’t talked to me all night.”</p>
<p>“There isn’t anything to say.”</p>
<p>“Bullshit.”</p>
<p>Mai sits up, temper flaring.</p>
<p>“So now I’m a liar?”</p>
<p>“When it comes to your feelings, sometimes.”</p>
<p>Mai feels as if she has been slapped. She wants to storm out, but their bed is pressed against the wall and she would have to climb over Zuko to escape, which seems undignified. She crosses her arms protectively over her chest and turns away from him. Zuko groans.</p>
<p>“That wasn’t the right thing to say, was it?”</p>
<p>“How would I know?” Mai says dully. “I don’t understand feelings.”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I meant,” Zuko says angrily. </p>
<p>“Then what did you mean?”</p>
<p>“I just… I don’t understand you, Mai.”</p>
<p>“Why would you want to?”</p>
<p>“Why would I… because you’re my wife!” Zuko says incredulously. “I care about you.”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s a pretty stupid decision on your part.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you are about me?”</p>
<p>Mai can hear the hurt in Zuko’s voice. She closes her eyes.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Silence hangs between them again. Mai feels dangerously close to crying. She needs to focus on keeping her feelings as neutral as possible.</p>
<p>“I know I’m not good at this stuff,” Zuko says finally. “But I want to help. I feel like something’s bothering you, and I think you’re mad at me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not. Really,” she adds, turning to see the skeptical look on his face. “I just had a bad day.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you just tell me?”</p>
<p>“Oh, and you’re always the first to spill your guts when you’ve had a bad day,” she says sarcastically.</p>
<p>Zuko rubs a hand over his face.</p>
<p>“That’s a fair hit, I guess,” he grumbles. “We both know I’m not good at this stuff.”</p>
<p>“And I am?”</p>
<p>“Okay, so we’re both bad at it. But maybe…”</p>
<p>Zuko trails off. Mai takes in his hunched posture and some of her anger melts. She reaches out to take his hand.</p>
<p>“Tell me,” she says.</p>
<p>“I just… I want to be able to talk to you,” he admits quietly. “I know I’m bad at it. And I know you don’t really like talking about feelings but I’m just… I’m tired of hiding all the time.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think you’re hiding,” Mai says. “You make it pretty clear when you’re angry, at least.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I’m not just angry,” he sighs. “Sometimes… I don’t know. I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling, so I’m angry instead.”</p>
<p>The familiar swelling feeling returns, rising through Mai’s stomach and up to her throat. She feels like crying, but not for herself this time. She crawls across the bed to sit next to Zuko, tucking her head under his chin. He wraps his arms around her tightly, as if afraid she will run away.</p>
<p>“I was never allowed to be angry,” Mai admits. “My parents were always concerned about my dad’s political career, so I had to be well behaved. It didn’t matter what I was feeling — I was supposed to be quiet and well-mannered. I hated it, but I guess I got used to it. It’s easier to pretend I don’t have any feelings than to admit to the unpleasant ones.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Zuko rasps. “You deserved more.”</p>
<p>“So did you.”</p>
<p>Zuko holds her close. Mai turns her head to inhale his scent. She feels her heartbeat slow as the faint smell of fire fills her lungs.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you thought I was mad at you,” she says softly. “You’re one of the only people I can actually stand.”</p>
<p>“What an honor,” Zuko says teasingly.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.”</p>
<p>Zuko pulls back so he can grin down at her. After a moment, his expression grows thoughtful.</p>
<p>“What if we practiced?”</p>
<p>“Practiced what?”</p>
<p>“Talking about feelings. You know, so we don’t have another night where we’re mad at each other for no reason. It’s not very fun.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Mai agrees. “But talking about feelings isn’t fun either.”</p>
<p>“It could be,” Zuko says with a shrug. “No one said they had to be bad feelings.”</p>
<p>“You have a good feeling you want to share?” Mai asks disbelievingly.</p>
<p>“I like it when you’re next to me like this.”</p>
<p>Mai reaches up a hand to caress the edges of Zuko’s scar. He looks at her with such tenderness, she can hardly bear it.</p>
<p>“I like being here with you, too,” she whispers.</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes flash in the darkness. Mai recognizes his expression and her body responds immediately. Her heart races as blood rushes south. She can feel an ache between her thighs as Zuko moves to kiss her.</p>
<p>It is unlike any of their previous couplings. Each gasp feels amplified, every caress makes her shiver. Zuko occasionally talks during their lovemaking — mostly asking what Mai wants or groaning her name in pleasure — but tonight he says more than ever before. Mai feels like she is on fire.</p>
<p>“Mai,” he growls in her ear. “<i>Agni</i>, you are so beautiful. I think about you all the time. You’re the most amazing… <i>fuck</i>, you feel so good.”</p>
<p>Mai is too overwhelmed to speak. She merely pants his name as he brings her to peak after peak, twisting herself on the bed. She feels insatiable in a way that she never has before. Before, they had explored each other. Now, she felt like Zuko could <i>see</i> her, the version of herself she tried to hide from everyone. More than that, he could see her and he still <i>wanted</i> her, wanted her above anyone else. </p>
<p>When Zuko finally collapses against her, she is reluctant to let him go. She strokes his hair as he softens inside of her, feeling the warmth of his breath on her skin.</p>
<p>“I’m going to crush you,” he mumbles after a while.</p>
<p>“Hm,” Mai says, slightly breathless. “There are worse things.”</p>
<p>She finally releases him from her arms so she can go clean herself up. When she returns to bed, Zuko embraces her again, and she eagerly lets herself be enveloped.</p>
<p>“I have a feeling to admit,” she says, her voiced muffled against Zuko’s ribs.</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>“If you ever tell anyone how much I like being held like this, I will stab you.”</p>
<p>Zuko laughs.</p>
<p>“Fair enough.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The feelings discussions proceed surprisingly well for a while. There are two reasons for this: first, they start with only positive feelings, and second, there is the promise of frenzied, mind-blowing sex afterwards.</p>
<p>“I have to admit,” Zuko pants after one particularly enthusiastic session, “I didn’t think that talking about stuff would lead to this.”</p>
<p>“Well, that scroll Azula gave us did say communication was important in sex.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I thought that was just for giving directions. You know, ‘more to the left’ and stuff like that.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” Mai smiles. “I’m not complaining though. Maybe this is why everyone else always wants to talk about their feelings so much.”</p>
<p>Their week of bliss is cut short when a messenger hawk with black ribbons arrives. Zuko goes rigid when he spots it on deck. The scroll it carries is a direct order from the palace: Zuko and Mai are to return home at once.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” Zuko says over dinner that evening. “Our trip is supposed to last until the end of the monsoon season. That’s more than two months away.”</p>
<p>Iroh and Mai exchange wary glances. She suspects that Iroh is thinking along the same lines as she is: that Ozai had finally had enough of Zuko trying to right wrongs around the country and was calling his son home. Mai isn’t sure if Ozai was angry that Zuko was undermining his leadership, or if Ozai simply wanted Zuko home to torture him more effectively. Either way, Mai dreads returning to the capital.</p>
<p>As they lay in bed, neither of them speaks for a long time.</p>
<p>“It’s hard to do this when things are bad. Talk about how we feel, I mean,” Mai says quietly.</p>
<p>“I guess it’s like you said,” Zuko sighs. “It’s easier to pretend you don’t feel anything than admit to a bad feeling.”</p>
<p>“I’m worried,” Mai blurts.</p>
<p>“Me too.”</p>
<p>“What should we do?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>There is no sex that night, but Mai does feel some comfort burrowing into Zuko’s arms the way she likes. It makes it a bit harder to worry about Ozai when Zuko is so warm against her skin.</p>
<p>The tides are favorable on their return journey. Ozai has ordered their return by the end of the month, and now they are a few days in advance. Zuko instructs the crew to make for Fire Fountain City to give them a few day’s respite and to check on how things are going.</p>
<p>On its surface, the town seems in good order. Children are back in school and there are fewer hungry war widows out on the streets. A general election is slated for the following week. Zuko, however, suspects that there is more than meets the eye.</p>
<p>“Want to go under cover with me?” he asks Mai with a grin.</p>
<p>They put on their most unassuming clothing to sneak into town at night. Together, they pop into seedy bars and gambling halls, looking for trouble. There are a few fist fights here and there, but nothing illicit. Mai is almost disappointed; she could have used the opportunity to blow off some steam taking down crime lords.</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko are huddled in the back of a dingy bar when the voice of a young woman attracts their attention.</p>
<p>“Looks like I win again, boys!” the woman crows. </p>
<p>She pulls a stack of coins towards her. The group of men frown at the dice in front of her.</p>
<p>“You’re cheating,” one of them growls.</p>
<p>“Me?” the girl says, batting her eyelashes innocently. “I can’t even see what’s happening — how could I cheat?”</p>
<p>Mai can see very clearly how the woman is cheating. Every time the die hit the table, the woman subtly moves her feet. It would take a rather advanced earthbender to manipulate the vibrations of the ground in her favor, but Mai knows that great power can come in small packages. Everyone who had ever underestimated Ty Lee had proved that.</p>
<p>Still, Mai suspects that the men complaining are less concerned about cheating and are mostly angry that they are losing to a woman. Mai steps forward.</p>
<p>“It seems to me,” she says quietly, making the men jump, “that you’re upset that you’re losing.”</p>
<p>“She’s <i>cheating</i>,” one man insists.</p>
<p>“Spoken like someone who is bad at gambling,” Mai says loftily. She sits across the low table from the young woman, who is staring at her with wide, blank eyes. “Can I get the next match?”</p>
<p>“Suit yourself,” the woman shrugs. She throws down a coin and Mai follows suit.</p>
<p>Mai picks up the die and, just before she rolls, subtly steps on top of the woman’s foot. The woman gives a little leap of surprise. The die roll in Mai’s favor. </p>
<p>“See?” Mai says to the men. “She’s not infallible. You’re just bad at this.”</p>
<p>Mai collects her coins. The woman frowns at slightly, but she looks more curious than upset.</p>
<p>“If you’re so great,” one of the men says angrily to Mai, “why don’t you prove it?”</p>
<p>“This game is boring,” Mai sighs. “I prefer darts.”</p>
<p>“Fine. I challenge.”</p>
<p>“Let’s double the price to make it interesting.”</p>
<p>“Girl, I could triple the price and still beat you.”</p>
<p>“Very well,” Mai says, laying three fat coins on the table. “The challenger starts.”</p>
<p>The man isn’t half bad, but Mai is better. She wins handily and pockets her money. Three more men, drunk on their own confidence, challenge her. All fall before her.</p>
<p>“Fucking bitch,” one man grumbles.</p>
<p>In a flash, Zuko pins him against the wall.</p>
<p>“What did you say about my wife?”</p>
<p>The man looks alarmed.</p>
<p>“Nothing!” he squeaks. “She’s, er… very lovely.”</p>
<p>“That’s right she is,” Zuko growls. The man drops to the ground and scuttles off. </p>
<p>“I think we’ve seen enough,” Zuko says in a pained voice, still glaring after the man.</p>
<p>Mai grabs her sizable winnings and proceeds to the exit. The blind woman is waiting, her arms crossed.</p>
<p>“You’re horning in on my profits,” she complains as she follows Mai and Zuko out into the street.</p>
<p>“You’re lucky we intervened,” Zuko says with a frown. “Those guys were about to go after you for cheating.”</p>
<p>“I can handle myself, hot shot.”</p>
<p>“Of course you can,” Mai says with a smirk. “An earthbender in this part of the world? They wouldn’t see it coming.”</p>
<p>The woman stops dead, glaring at them.</p>
<p>“How did you know?”</p>
<p>Zuko barely suppresses a snort. Mai elbows him in the ribs.</p>
<p>“Is it that obvious? My friends did tell me to tone it down a bit... Guess they were right. You guys don’t seem like the type to rat me out to the police though.”</p>
<p>“No,” Mai says. “There are worse things than cheating sexist assholes out of their money.”</p>
<p>The blind woman grins.</p>
<p>“I’m Toph,” she says, extending a hand.</p>
<p>“Jin,” Mai lies. “This is Lee.”</p>
<p>Toph frowns.</p>
<p>“Fake names, huh?”</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko exchange surprised glances.</p>
<p>“It’s cool,” Toph shrugs. “I don’t need to know your business, you don’t need to know mine.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” Mai agrees.</p>
<p>“Toph!” a voice comes from a nearby alley. “There you are! We were getting worried. Have you been —“</p>
<p>A woman exits the alley and stops short at the sight of Mai and Zuko. Although she wears traditional Fire Nation red, her light-colored eyes and tanned skin look foreign. Moments later, a young man with the same coloring appears beside her, and then another man, who is gangly and pale. All three of them look between Mai, Zuko, and Toph with matching expressions of confusion.</p>
<p>“Hey guys,” Toph says casually. “I was out earning us some travel money, <i>you’re welcome</i>. This is Lee and Jin.”</p>
<p>“Hi!” The gangly man jumps forward eagerly, extending a hand. “I’m Kuzon!”</p>
<p>Zuko shakes his hand, looking amused.</p>
<p>“I’ve never met a Kuzon under the age of eighty,” he admits.</p>
<p>Kuzon looks suddenly nervous.</p>
<p>“Oh, haha! Weird. I’m not eighty or anything. I mean, that would be impossible, right? So… uh… just a weird coincidence I guess.”</p>
<p>His nervous laughter is quieted when Toph elbows him in the side.</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko turn to the other two expectantly.</p>
<p>“Name’s Fire. Wang Fire,” the man says in a rather silly voice. “And this is my sister…”</p>
<p>He trails off. He seems to have forgotten his sister’s name.</p>
<p>“Sapphire,” she supplies quickly. “Sapphire Fire.”</p>
<p>“Right,” Mai says dully. Apparently she and Zuko are not the only ones using fake names. </p>
<p>“How did you guys meet?” Sapphire asks Toph suspiciously.</p>
<p>“Hustling,” Toph says smugly.</p>
<p>“Toph!” Sapphire scolds. “You promised. No more crime.”</p>
<p>“Lighten up, Sugar Queen,” Toph whines. “They were doing it, too.”</p>
<p>Sapphire frowns at them. Zuko looks slightly cowed by her glare, but Mai is less affected.</p>
<p>“I’m not keeping the winnings, if it makes you feel better,” Mai says.</p>
<p>“What?” Toph exclaims, shocked. “Then what’s the point?”</p>
<p>“They were assholes,” Mai says with a shrug. “Beating them is good enough for me.”</p>
<p>“What are you going to do with your money?” Kuzon asks with great interest.</p>
<p>Mai jerks her head.</p>
<p>“There’s a women’s shelter down the road. They’ve got a donation box up front.” She turns to Zuko. “Think you can sneak in?”</p>
<p>She doesn’t add ‘so I don’t get recognized.’ Mai had spent a good amount of time there when they had started their trip. She doesn’t want to be outed as royalty just yet.</p>
<p>Zuko nods. The group of friends looks rather impressed. Mai had assumed Sapphire, who seemed to be less than thrilled at the idea of petty crime, would protest, but she is the most vocal supporter.</p>
<p>“That’s really kind of you,” she says to Mai. “Those women really need help.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a big deal,” Mai shrugs.</p>
<p>“It’s always good to help people in need!” Kuzon grins. “Toph, should we—“</p>
<p>“Hey, we <i>need</i> dinner too, okay? I can’t give all my winnings away.”</p>
<p>Sapphire turns to Wang expectantly, as if she wants him to weigh in on the debate, but he is distracted by Zuko.</p>
<p>“Are those dual dao blades?”</p>
<p>Zuko starts, his hand going to his hip.</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Wow!” Wang says excitedly. “I’ve never actually seen someone use them before. Can you —“</p>
<p>Zuko hesitates momentarily, but draws out the blades. He goes through a quick sequence of movements to Wang’s delight. When he finishes, he gives a traditional bow as he sheaths his swords. A funny look comes over Wang’s face.</p>
<p>“You were a student of Piandao.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks shocked.</p>
<p>“How…?”</p>
<p>“That bow at the end,” Wang grins. “Most people don’t make the sheathing movement as part of the bow. That’s sort of his trademark, right?”</p>
<p>“You studied with him too, then,” Zuko says.</p>
<p>“Yup!” </p>
<p>Wang unsheathes his own sword and holds it proudly for inspection. Both Mai and Zuko move closer for a better look. The blade is unusually dark. Mai normally tries to maintain a disaffected air of superiority in front of strangers, but even she has to admit, it is a <i>very</i> cool weapon.</p>
<p>“It’s my space sword,” Wang explains proudly. “Made it myself from a meteorite.”</p>
<p>“Can I —?” Zuko asks.</p>
<p>Wang holds out the sword and Zuko grasps it. He examines it from several angles and takes a few swings with it before handing it back.</p>
<p>“Excellent balance,” Zuko compliments. “But that’s expected in a Piandao sword. Very light, too. Must give you a huge advantage in close range.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t gotten to use it too much yet,” Wang admits. “Unless you need a sword guy for your break in?”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Zuko grins. </p>
<p>He looks over at Mai, who can’t help her smirk. Zuko looks like an excitable child. It’s a new and not entirely unappealing angle for him. She jerks her head.</p>
<p>“Go on. We’ll keep watch.”</p>
<p>Zuko and Wang slink off, still whispering about sword lore. Kuzon hesitates for a moment, giving Sapphire a pleading look.</p>
<p>“Fine,” she sighs. “But only if you stay out of trouble. And keep Sok— I mean, <i>Wang</i> — out of trouble, too.”</p>
<p>“On it!”</p>
<p>Kuzon leaps away with impressive agility. Mai frowns. Even for a gangly kid, he seems surprisingly light on his feet. Sapphire catches Mai’s eye and hurriedly tries to distract her with conversation.</p>
<p>“So, do you live in the city?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Oh, we’re travelers, too,” Sapphire says with a smile. “How do you know about the women’s shelter, then?”</p>
<p>This is a fair question and Mai kicks herself for not anticipating it. Toph watches her and Mai feels uncomfortable. She has the sneaking suspicion the earthbender can tell when she’s lying, so she tries to keep her answer as brief as possible.</p>
<p>“I’ve been to Fire Fountain City before,” Mai explains. “I, uh… volunteered there.”</p>
<p>Toph does not object to this half-truth, but smiles instead.</p>
<p>“That’s funny. Sapphire volunteered there earlier this week.”</p>
<p>“Yes, they were looking for a healer and—“</p>
<p>Sapphire stops short, looking as if she has said too much. Mai decides to play it cool.</p>
<p>“If you have healing knowledge, you must have been in pretty big demand.”</p>
<p>Sapphire hesitates before nodding.</p>
<p>“Yes. There’s only so much I can do, though.”</p>
<p>She looks frustrated. Mai wonders a bit about why this group of friends would come to a place like Fire Fountain City. She doesn’t have long to ponder it, however, because soon the boys have returned, looking very smug.</p>
<p>“Easy in and out,” Wang boasts. “Nothing to it.”</p>
<p>Mai catches the grin on Zuko’s face.</p>
<p>“Having fun?” she teases under her breath.</p>
<p>Zuko smiles wider.</p>
<p>“Yeah, actually. I am.”</p>
<p>“So,” Toph says. “What’s next?”</p>
<p>“We should probably start heading back,” Wang says regretfully. “We’ve got a ways to walk.”</p>
<p>“Aw,” Kuzon complains. “Can’t we just stay a little longer? We just made new friends!”</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko exchange glances.</p>
<p>“Where are you headed?” Zuko asks Wang.</p>
<p>“Western part of town,” Wang replies. “Up on the cliff overlooking the port.”</p>
<p>Mai frowns.</p>
<p>“Why are you staying there?”</p>
<p>“Uh, for the views?” Wang says shiftily.</p>
<p>Mai decides to let this slide. After all, it wasn’t like she and Zuko had been entirely forthcoming this evening.</p>
<p>“We’re down by the port, too,” Zuko says. “We can walk with you.”</p>
<p>Wang’s expression brightens.</p>
<p>“Great! Hey, what do you think about long swords versus broadswords?”</p>
<p>Zuko and Wang quickly lose themselves in conversation as they wander through the streets. Mai follows with the others, who tell her a bit about their travels. Mai gets the feeling that there are some important omissions in these stories — it is not lost on her that the purpose of their travels is never fully revealed — but again, she is hardly in a position to judge. Instead, she listens to Kuzon’s excited retelling of their adventures, while Sapphire and Toph provide some good-natured ribbing. </p>
<p>As they approach the port, they hear the sound of sailors laughing and arguing in pubs. A few spill out onto the street, singing sea shanties with filthy lyrics. Everyone is snickering slightly as they reach a fork in the road.</p>
<p>Mai and Zuko turn to say their goodbyes when a two sailors cross their path.</p>
<p>“Prince Zuko!” says a shocked voice. “And Lady Mai!”</p>
<p>Mai recognizes the men: two deckhands from their ship. Both look stunned to see the royal couple out in plainclothes.</p>
<p>“As you were,” Zuko says quickly. </p>
<p>The two deckhands scuttle off, looking relieved to not be in trouble for their revelry. Mai and Zuko’s new companions, however, look less than thrilled. Wang and Sapphire seem especially suspicious, while Kuzon looks rather heartbroken. Toph, on the other hand, is smirking.</p>
<p>“Knew your names were fake,” she gloats.</p>
<p>“<i>You’re</i> the Fire Nation prince?” Sapphire demands.</p>
<p>Zuko draws himself up proudly.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And this is what you like to do?” Sapphire replies, unimpressed. “Sneaking around at night and scamming people out of their money?”</p>
<p>“Whoa, let’s not demonize people for a little scam,” Toph says. </p>
<p>Sapphire shoots her an angry look.</p>
<p>“Why did you break in to the women’s shelter?” Wang demands. “You could have just waltzed in there tomorrow. Made a big show of giving them money.”</p>
<p>“Hah!” Sapphire laughs darkly. “If anything, he probably stole more money out of the till. That’s how people in the Fire Nation operate.”</p>
<p>“I would never —“ Zuko starts angrily. </p>
<p>Kuzon holds up his hands, turning to Sapphire with a frown.</p>
<p>“That’s not fair. Lee — uh, Zuko, I mean — we saw him put that money in. Not everyone from the Fire Nation is bad. You <i>know</i> that.”</p>
<p>Sapphire looks unwilling to concede this point and crosses her arms angrily, glaring at Mai and Zuko.</p>
<p>“We’re not monsters,” Zuko argues. “There are some bad people here, but we’re trying to help.”</p>
<p>“That’s true,” Toph adds. “I’ve heard people talk about you in bars. You should watch your backs.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Mai asks quickly.</p>
<p>Toph shrugs.</p>
<p>“You’re putting all the criminals out of business with your little crusade. I’ve heard them complaining about it. I’m not saying you should stop or anything, just that you’ve put a target on yourselves.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter,” Zuko says fervently. “It’s worth it to bring justice to the people.”</p>
<p>Sapphire’s steely demeanor softens slightly at the passion of Zuko’s words, but her arms remain crossed. The friends exchange wary glances.</p>
<p>“I guess we should go,” Kuzon says sadly. “It was nice meeting you guys.”</p>
<p>Everyone stares at him in disbelief, but he seems unphased. Mai thinks suddenly of Ty Lee, who was always happy to meet new people, too. She grabs Zuko’s hand. With a nod, the two of them turn away towards their ship.</p>
<p>They strip off their incognito clothing without speaking and crawl into bed. Mai rests her head on Zuko’s chest, pondering Toph’s grim warning. Mai had been glad to help rid the Fire Nation cities of corruption, but Toph was right — not everyone was happy about it. If there was a target on her and Zuko, they would have to tread carefully from now on. They only had one more night in the city before sailing back to the capital. They would just have to keep a low profile for one more day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally, some familiar faces added in ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Blades in the Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two chapters posted in quick succession? A clear sign that I am avoiding grading papers...</p>
<p>Some violence in this one - head's up!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Although Mai does not voice her concerns to Zuko, he, too, seems keen to fly under the radar. Their last day in Fire Fountain City is spent admiring landmarks of cultural importance with Iroh. It’s terribly dull, but it <i>is</i> what their trip was originally meant to do. Mai is thankful they found other ways to occupy their time; drinking tea and bowing in front of statues of their ancestors for the past several weeks would have been dreadful.</p>
<p>They return to the ship for dinner. Usually, they would be invited to dine by a high-ranking town official, but most of the old guard has been arrested during their previous anti-corruption work. Instead, Mai, Zuko, and Iroh share a quiet meal while the rest of the crew is given one last night off.</p>
<p>As they eat, they discuss their return to the Fire Nation capital. Mai feels a powerful gloominess come over her — going back to hosting inane parties is the last thing she wants — but Zuko seems eager to return. Iroh serves them a final cup of tea after dinner when Zuko reveals the reason for his good mood.</p>
<p>“I think I’ve figured it out,” Zuko says, a gleam of triumph in his eyes.</p>
<p>“What is it, Nephew?” Iroh asks kindly.</p>
<p>“A way to restore my honor.”</p>
<p>Iroh’s face falls for a fraction of a second. Mai’s insides twist.</p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>“All this work we’ve been doing, uncovering corruption… it’s hard to believe just how much there is. It’s a stain on our nation and, it wastes a <i>lot</i> of money and resources. If I could fix it — if I could eliminate all of the seedy deals and loopholes — it would bring pride to Fire Nation. We could hold our heads high for our integrity. We would have the resources we need to ensure all our citizens were cared for, not just the nobility and the military. Being back in the capital, we could <i>really</i> tackle corruption on a wide scale — even more than what we’ve been doing by jumping around from city to city.”</p>
<p>Mai exchanges a wary look with Iroh. She is relieved that Zuko is telling them this at the same time; she’s not sure she could come up with a tactful way to burst Zuko’s bubble on her own.</p>
<p>“Nephew,” Iroh says gently. “Do you not think Ozai knows of these problems?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Zuko says quickly. “But I can fix them.”</p>
<p>“Do you not think,” Iroh continues, still more delicately, “that your father <i>created</i> these problems?”</p>
<p>Zuko frowns.</p>
<p>“Why would he create problems?”</p>
<p>“To empower himself,” Iroh says with a sad shake of his head. “Sewing discord hurts our people, but it grants him power over them. He is in control of all the corrupt heads in our nation and, thus, he is in control of every single citizen. If you were to free our people from these burdens, you would indeed be a man of great honor. You must know that I have always thought you a man of great honor, despite what your father has said. But if you do this, if you <i>fix</i> our nation, it should be to help our people, not to please your father. He will not be pleased, but that does not mean it is not the right thing to do.”</p>
<p>Zuko gapes at his uncle.</p>
<p>“How could you say that?” Zuko sputters. “My father is the Fire Lord. He’s supposed to protect our people.”</p>
<p>“That is what he is supposed to do, yes.”</p>
<p>“Then we should help him do it!”</p>
<p>“Your intentions are good, Nephew. But your father…”</p>
<p>“I know he’s not perfect,” Zuko argues. “But he wouldn’t want our nation to be held back like this.”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Uncle!” Zuko says hotly. “Stop it!”</p>
<p>“I am only trying to help you see, Nephew. You must not be blinded by your own desires.”</p>
<p>“Stop talking in riddles!” Zuko shouts, leaping to his feet. “You always do this, Uncle! Why can’t you just help me for once?”</p>
<p>“I have always tried to help you, Prince Zuko.”</p>
<p>“No, you haven’t! You kept me from going to the war front, now you’re telling me this is a bad idea.”</p>
<p>“If you had gone to the war, you would be dead at the bottom of the Northern Sea,” Iroh says, his expression hardening. “And I do not reject your idea, Nephew. Only its purpose.”</p>
<p>“Stop lying!” Zuko roars. “You can’t stand the idea of me finally getting my honor back, can you? Because then you’ll be all alone, the last outcast of the family.”</p>
<p>“Zuko,” Mai interrupts sharply. “That’s enough.”</p>
<p>“No!” Zuko shouts, his eyes still fixed on his uncle. “I’m finally doing what I need to be accepted. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”</p>
<p>There is a flinty look in Iroh’s eyes. He stands slowly to face his nephew, his expression drawn.</p>
<p>“You are right, Nephew. Too long have I relied on riddles, so now I shall be direct. Seeking your father’s approval will never bring you happiness. He is a cruel man, and you are not. His blessing would be a curse upon you. If you wish to continue on this path, I wish you good fortune, but I will not be a part of it.”</p>
<p>Iroh gives a curt bow and walks out. Zuko stares at the door for a moment before turning to look at Mai. She keeps her expression neutral until Zuko turns away from her. He paces the room, muttering angrily under his breath.</p>
<p>Twenty minutes pass before Zuko sits and drops his head onto the table with a thud.</p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>Mai waits silently for Zuko to elaborate.</p>
<p>“Why am I so bad at this?” Zuko laments.</p>
<p>“You’re going to have to be more specific.”</p>
<p>Zuko shoots her a glare. His look of anger is quickly replaced by something akin to grief.</p>
<p>“I can’t do anything right,” he sighs. “Uncle is right. I need to follow my own path, but I don’t know how.”</p>
<p>“You seem to be doing just fine out here. Think of all the people you’ve helped.”</p>
<p>“It’s not enough,” Zuko retorts. “I want to do my duty. I <i>need</i> to do my duty to the Fire Nation. But as long as I’m without honor…”</p>
<p>“You <i>are</i> doing your duty to the Fire Nation. You’re not doing what your father wants. There’s a difference.”</p>
<p>Zuko is silent for a long time.</p>
<p>“I’m going to get some air.”</p>
<p>“Want company?”</p>
<p>“I’m not very good company right now,” Zuko grimaces. “I’m going to have to draft an apology to Uncle.”</p>
<p>“I’ll leave you to it then.”</p>
<p>Before Zuko leaves, he bends over to drop a kiss on the top of Mai’s head. It is a chaste thing, but it makes her insides flutter happily. She feels a rush of affection for her husband. She considers joining him on the deck despite his bad mood. She decides against it in the end, and goes back to their chambers to polish her daggers.</p>
<p>Half an hour passes before Mai hears a strange thud above her. She frowns at the ceiling, listening to the sound of footsteps. It’s rather early for any of the crew to be back The steps are uneven, almost like running. There is another thud and a sound like a yelp. Mai’s blood runs cold.</p>
<p><i>Zuko</i>.</p>
<p>Mai rushes into the study to arm herself, fitting as many daggers as possible on her person. She turns to leave when she hears footsteps in the hallway, and she presses herself against the wall just in time.</p>
<p>The door explodes open under the force of a heavy boot. Two men jump into the room, their heads swiveling around in search for her. Mai leaps from her hiding spot, knives flying. A dagger embeds itself in the flesh of one man’s thigh, and he falls with a howl of pain. The other man thinks himself lucky and gives her a feral grin, not noticing until too late that Mai’s other knife has ripped off the tapestry on the wall. It flops onto his face and he struggles to free himself. Mai darts from the room. She has to find Zuko and get off this ship, <i>fast</i>.</p>
<p>Mai hurtles onto the top deck and nearly crashes into a man being flung backwards. Mai turns and spots Zuko in the center of five armed men. Zuko kicks out, a ferocious blast of fire forcing two of the men back. The other three, however, make their move and spring forward. </p>
<p>A knife flies from Mai’s hand and strikes one man in the shoulder. He stumbles and crashes into another assailant. Zuko fends off the lone man who makes it to him with a hard punch to the sternum. Zuko looks up and spots Mai. His eyes widen in fear, his mouth opening soundlessly in warning.</p>
<p>Mai ducks just in time. The man who had been flung backwards swings a sword at her, grunting with the effort. Mai’s attackers from below deck join him, the three of them leering at her.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t have to be like this, girlie,” one of them croaks. “Just come along now, nice and quiet. We don’t want a fuss.”</p>
<p>Mai allows them to approach slowly. She needs a second to get her bearings. She and Zuko are grossly outnumbered, and their window to escape narrows with each passing minute.</p>
<p>“That’s right,” the man continues. “Nice and easy now.”</p>
<p>A gasp of pain echoes across the ship. Mai’s heart stops. She swivels her head to spot Zuko staggering backwards, clutching his side. When he pulls his hand away to launch a fireball, his fingers are stained a dark red.</p>
<p>Mai focuses back on her attackers and makes a decision: the only people leaving this ship alive are her and Zuko.</p>
<p>Three razor-sharp blades fly from her sleeves and embed themselves in the throats of the men inching towards her. Their faces go slack with shock. Blood gurgles from their gaping mouths. One falls sideways, gasping, while the other two continue to stumble towards her. Mai easily dodges them and runs to the fallen man. With a forceful yank, she pulls up on her dagger and watches the blood spill from his throat. </p>
<p>She holds up the bloody knife and throws it again, this time at one of Zuko’s assailants. Distracted, the attacker turns back towards her in time to watch her leap over the bodies of his fallen friends. His eyes widen with surprise, and Mai uses his distraction to plant two daggers between his ribs. </p>
<p>Four down, four to go.</p>
<p>Zuko’s remaining attackers seem to realize the threat Mai poses. Two of the largest men turn to deal with her. Mai is forced to duck behind a barrel of water before a blast of fire hits her. She throws more knives, but she is less successful this time. One man even throws one of her blades back at her, and she’s driven back further and further away from Zuko.</p>
<p>The adrenaline of the fight is starting to get the better of her. The knives she throws aren’t nearly as precise, and soon she finds herself out of daggers entirely. With shaking hands, she reaches up and fumbles with her crown. The golden blade leaps out to her defense. Mai clutches it tightly.</p>
<p>She can see Zuko still fighting valiantly, but the longer the battle goes on, the more he stumbles. One man gets close enough to punch Zuko in the face and he lurches sideways. The man yanks Zuko’s phoenix tail roughly and pulls out a long knife.</p>
<p>Mai lets out a scream unlike any sound she has made before. The two men focused on her are momentarily caught off guard by the noise and Mai takes advantage. She leaps at the closest man and shoots out a lighting quick hand towards his throat. His hands scrabble at his neck, trying to stem the blood that gushes forth. Mai thrusts her hand out again, and the second assailant lets out a choked cry as her blade embeds itself in his flesh. She uses her fingers to jab into his throat, a trick Ty Lee had taught her, and the man sways unsteadily. Mai jumps back and seizes a blade from a fallen man. She throws it and her remaining attacker finally slumps lifelessly onto the deck of the ship. </p>
<p>Mai races over the Zuko, who seems to have freed himself from the clutches of the man with the sword. It takes Mai a moment to figure out what has happened. The man is lying unconscious on the ground, a rather nasty burn across his chest, holding the remains of Zuko’s hair. The knife had not been to cut Zuko’s throat, but to take a souvenir of the fight. Cutting an enemy’s hair after a battle was an old, crude tradition, but <i>before</i> the end… to emasculate and dishonor your foe… that was psychological warfare. Only one man was capable of it in Mai’s opinion. </p>
<p>This was Ozai’s doing.</p>
<p>The remaining attacker looks worse for wear, but Zuko is clearly at a disadvantage. His breath comes in shallow gasps as he continues to clutch his side. His fire blasts keep the last aggressor at bay, but his flames grow weaker and weaker with each passing second. Mai rushes forward.</p>
<p>Zuko stares at Mai in shock as the last thug falls. She rips her golden dagger out of the man’s back and stabs again and again. She loses count of her blows, but she does not stop until man sinks onto his knees and slides down against the deck. She gives his head a solid kick for good measure.  She turns to the man with Zuko’s hair and slits his throat. No one is going to leave this ship except her and Zuko, after all.</p>
<p>Behind her, Zuko lets out a whimper of pain. Mai runs to him, fear clouding out everything else. She knows she will have to reckon with what she has done here, but all that matters now is that Zuko is safe.</p>
<p>“How bad is it?” she asks, her voice shaking.</p>
<p>Zuko can only groan in response. Mai tugs Zuko towards her, throwing his arm over her shoulder.</p>
<p>“We have to get out of here,” she says.</p>
<p>“Uncle,” Zuko grunts. “The crew.”</p>
<p>“Your uncle can handle himself in a fight,” Mai says quickly. “And the crew are all out drinking. They should be okay. We need to go <i>now</i>, Zuko. Some one is going to expect these guys to come back with a report.”</p>
<p>Zuko nods weakly and allows Mai to lead him down the gangplank. She is grateful Zuko is still wearing a cloak from his walk around the ship. She tugs the hood over his face to hide his recognizable scar.</p>
<p>They limp together down the pier. Mai’s mind races with possibilities, her eyes darting around to look for more attackers. Zuko stumbles, and Mai realizes with horror that the dark stain of blood on his tunic has expanded to a dangerous size.</p>
<p>“We need to get you to a hospital,” Mai insists.</p>
<p>“They’ll recognize me,” Zuko says through gritted teeth. “Someone will report back I survived. You’ll be in danger.”</p>
<p>“You need a healer. Where else are we going to…”</p>
<p>Mai trails off, staring up at the cliff that juts out over the port. Sapphire had mentioned healing skills. Sure, she hated Mai and Zuko, but Mai couldn’t think of another option.</p>
<p>“Come on,” she urges. “This way.”</p>
<p>They trudge down the road towards the cliff. Zuko’s breathing grows increasingly unsteady. Mai realizes there’s no way he can walk all the way up a mountainside in this condition. Fortunately, she spots an ostrich horse tied up outside a dingy bar. </p>
<p>“Stay here,” she says, leaning Zuko against a wall.</p>
<p>Mai is not particularly gifted with animals, and the ostrich horse angrily clicks its beak at her as she struggles to untie it.</p>
<p>“Move, bird brain,” she mutters under her breath.</p>
<p>It drags its feet, but eventually she cajoles it over to Zuko. He puts a shaking hand against its side and pats it twice. The ostrich horse ruffles its feathers contentedly and bends to allow them to mount it.</p>
<p>“Lucky thing animals like you,” she says as she hoists Zuko into the saddle.</p>
<p>“Jus’ gotta be nice to ‘em,” Zuko slurs. “So they’re not scared.”</p>
<p>Mai feels tears building and she blinks them away furiously. She is <i>not</i> going to let Zuko die like this.</p>
<p>She grabs the reigns and steers the ostrich horse towards the edge of town. To her chagrin, the street is not as abandoned as she had thought. Two wizened old men are watching them over their pai sho board. They stare intently at Zuko, whose hood has slipped down to reveal his face. Their eyes pass onto Mai, who has stored her bloodied dagger back into her crown. There can be no mistaking who they are. Mai jolts the ostrich horse forward before the men can speak.</p>
<p>Zuko leans heavily against Mai’s back as they race up the cliffside. Panic claws at her throat. What if Sapphire and her friends weren’t there any longer? Or worse, what if they <i>were</i> there but refused to help? There wasn’t time to rethink their actions anymore. If this gambit failed, Zuko would surely die before they doubled back to the hospital.</p>
<p>As they approach, Mai spots a speck of firelight and heaves a sigh of relief. At the very least, they appear to still be camping on the cliffside. Mai would make them see reason to help Zuko. She still had her dagger with her, after all. She could be persuasive if she needed to be.</p>
<p>Before they can get too close, a wall of earth shoots up in front of them. The ostrich horse rears in fright, and Mai has to lunge forward to keep herself and Zuko from toppling off.</p>
<p>“State your business!”</p>
<p>Mai recognizes Toph’s voice. The wall of earth falls back, revealing the tiny earthbender and her friends.</p>
<p>“We need help,” Mai says quickly. “Zuko is injured.”</p>
<p>Toph’s face pinches in confusion. Wang and Kuzon rush forward from behind her. Unlike Toph, they can see just how pale and weak Zuko looks. Mai helps ease Zuko down into their arms.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Wang demands.</p>
<p>“He was stabbed.”</p>
<p>“Stabbed?” Kuzon yelps, shocked.</p>
<p>“Sapphire said she knew about healing,” Mai adds quickly. “Please, he’s lost a lot of blood.”</p>
<p>Mai turns to find Sapphire eyeing Zuko warily.</p>
<p>“Please,” Mai repeats, an edge of desperation in her voice.</p>
<p>Sapphire nods tightly and rolls up her sleeves.</p>
<p>“Toph, I need you to make a rock bed for him. Aang, get as much clean water as you can. Sokka, I need you to cut away the fabric around the wound, then grab our blankets and warm them up next to the fire. We need to keep him warm. Go!”</p>
<p>Dimly, Mai is aware that these are not the names they had used the night before, but she doesn’t have the strength to care. There is a crunching sound as Toph bends the earth into a flat bed and then lifts it to waist height for Sapphire to work. Carefully, Sapphire peels Zuko’s hands away from his side. His body trembles and his eyes look glassy and confused.</p>
<p>“<i>Mai</i>,” he croaks.</p>
<p>“I’m here,” she says shakily. She grasps his hand, slick with his own blood. “I’m right here.”</p>
<p>Despite her panic, Mai cannot help but be stunned by Sapphire’s work. Mai had expected healing abilities of a more standard variety: herb-lore, perhaps, or skill with a needle to sew Zuko up. She had not expected... whatever the hell this was.</p>
<p>Sapphire’s hand glow as water swirls around them, eerily bright in the dark of night. Sapphire presses the cool water into Zuko’s side. He shudders for a moment and then lies still. Mai cannot tell if his sudden relaxation is from relief or loss of consciousness. She grips his hand tightly, fear snaking its way through her again.</p>
<p>Time seems agonizingly slow. Wang — or Sokka, whatever he was called — hustles over with blankets warmed by the fire and piles them on top of Zuko’s prone form. A moment later, Kuzon appears, a stream of water suspended in midair behind him. Mai is too overwhelmed by fear to be surprised. Finding one waterbender in this part of the world was rare enough, but two is odd indeed. Especially odd is that Kuzon looks nothing like a member of the Water Tribe: his skin is pale and he’s wearing a lot of clothing despite the warm evening. Sapphire and her brother are still sleeveless even though it is almost midnight.</p>
<p>Kuzon threads the water from his hands into Sapphire’s as she frowns in concentration at the wound in Zuko’s side. Mai watches the dark gash shrink and contract. She can hardly believe what is happening, and she grips Zuko’s hand more firmly still.</p>
<p>It must be almost an hour before Sapphire lowers her hands. Zuko’s wound is now a thin red line; it looks more like the scratch from an errant tree branch than a life-threatening knife wound. Sapphire is sweating, clearly exhausted by her efforts, but she gives Mai a hint of a smile.</p>
<p>“He’s stable,” she explains. “I’ll need more time with him, but I should rest first.”</p>
<p>Mai nods stiffly.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she whispers.</p>
<p>Sapphire nods back, looking slightly conflicted. Mai can tell she is wondering whether it was the right thing to help the prince of the Fire Nation.</p>
<p>“I have a spare set of clothing,” Sapphire says finally. “You should try to get the blood out of yours.”</p>
<p>Mai looks down. Her tunic is sticky and stiff with blood on both sides: her enemies in the front, and Zuko in the back. The smell of it makes her want to vomit, but she doesn’t move. She can’t leave Zuko’s side, not even for a moment.</p>
<p>Toph, who is lowering Zuko’s earth bed back to the ground, seems to sense Mai’s unease.</p>
<p>“We’ll take care of him.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” Mai says quickly. “I’ll stay here.”</p>
<p>“Suit yourself.”</p>
<p>The earth rumbles and rises around them, forming a small tent. Toph rises to her feet.</p>
<p>“You can change in here. We can give your clothes a rinse.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to.”</p>
<p>“I don’t make a habit of offering favors,” Toph warns. “So you better take me up on it while you can.”</p>
<p>Sapphire brings in a clean set of clothes and Mai quickly strips out of her blood-soaked tunic. Kuzon brings a bucket so Mai can wash her face in the privacy of the tent. She removes her bloodied crown, separating the dagger from the rest of the metal. She stows the dagger carefully in her new tunic.</p>
<p>“We should get some sleep,” Wang says with a yawn. “We’ll check on you guys in the morning.”</p>
<p>The group turns to leave and head back to the main campfire when Mai speaks.</p>
<p>“You saved his life,” she blurts. “All of you. I can’t… I can’t thank…”</p>
<p>The tears Mai has been fighting all night threaten to fall. She stops speaking to prevent their escape.</p>
<p>“Try to get some sleep,” Sapphire says gently. “We’ll talk in the morning.”</p>
<p>Mai moves back to Zuko’s side, laying her head next to his shoulder. The ground is uncomfortable — Mai has never slept on anything less than a feather bed — but her exhaustion and fear dull the pain. In the silence of the night, she lets herself cry, burying her face against Zuko’s uninjured side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Hundred-Year Surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mai wakes disoriented. She scrabbles for a knife to throw before realizing where she is. There is a soft knocking sound, and Mai realizes that someone is outside of the rock tent.</p>
<p>“Come in,” she croaks.</p>
<p>There are dark circles under Sapphire’s eyes, but she approaches with a kind expression.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“It’s not me you need to worry about,” Mai says tightly.</p>
<p>Sapphire ignores Mai’s rude tone to kneel by Zuko’s side. Her hands glow as she places them on Zuko’s skin.</p>
<p>“He’s dehydrated, probably from the blood loss,” Sapphire says. “But he’s in better condition than I would have thought.” </p>
<p>“You did a good job healing him.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a very skilled healer, actually,” Sapphire admits. “Fighting is more my thing. But a stab wound is pretty straightforward. It’s the chi stuff that’s complicated.”</p>
<p>Mai frowns. Ty Lee used to talk about chi, but Mai had never really bought into it much.</p>
<p>“It must be because you’re here,” Sapphire adds with a sympathetic smile. “He must know you’re by his side.”</p>
<p>“He’s unconscious,” Mai points out.</p>
<p>Sapphire shrugs.</p>
<p>“Doesn’t mean he can’t sense you.”</p>
<p>Mai doubts this very much, but she holds Zuko’s hand anyway.</p>
<p>“What’s your real name?” Mai asks after a few minutes. “You saved my husband’s life, after all.”</p>
<p>“My name is Katara,” she says.</p>
<p>“And your brother is Sokka, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“What’s Kuzon’s real name? I can’t remember what you called him.”</p>
<p>Katara hesitates, although Mai isn’t sure why. Before she can press the matter, Zuko gives a groan and blinks. Mai’s heart leaps to her throat.</p>
<p>“Zuko?”</p>
<p>He blinks again, looking dazed. He appears to be struggling to speak. Katara lays a soft hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“It’s alright,” she says firmly. “Mai brought you here. You’re safe.”</p>
<p>“Uncle,” he croaks.</p>
<p>Katara casts a curious glance at Mai.</p>
<p>“His uncle has been traveling with us,” Mai explains. “We don’t know what happened to him.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Katara frowns. “I can send Toph into town. She’s pretty good at picking up gossip.”</p>
<p>Mai nods, turning back to Zuko.</p>
<p>“I’m going to poke around a bit,” Katara says. “It might hurt a little, but it’s just to look for anything I missed. If it hurts a lot, squeeze Mai’s hand, okay?”</p>
<p>Zuko gives a feeble nod. Katara resumes her work, frowning here and there. Zuko’s hand rests weakly in Mai’s, and eventually Katara pulls away.</p>
<p>“You need to drink something. I’ll go get some provisions and send Toph to find out about your uncle.”</p>
<p>Zuko closes his eyes with a grimace, but he nods in agreement.</p>
<p>Mai spends the morning glued to Zuko’s side. She helps him slowly sip from a coconut and cajoles him into eating some slivers of the meat inside. She takes little for herself. Flashes of the evening before keep assaulting her memory, making her queasy with anxiety.</p>
<p>Strangely, she doesn’t fear the memories of the attack. It doesn’t bother her to remember the way her attackers fell, blood spurting from their mouths. What scares her is the memory of Zuko: the sound as he was stabbed, the weight of his limp form against hers. Over and over, she sees a flash of his face, pale and glassy-eyed on the rock bed. She grabs his hand to chase the memories away. Zuko is only half-awake but seems unbothered by her unusual clinginess.</p>
<p>Around midday, Zuko regains enough energy to speak.</p>
<p>“We should go talk to everyone,” he says wearily. “See if there’s any news of my uncle.”</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t get up,” Mai insists. “Not yet.”</p>
<p>“Mai…”</p>
<p>“No. Stay put.”</p>
<p>“Hey, geniuses,” comes a bright voice. “How about we come to you?”</p>
<p>There’s a loud crack, and the rock tent around them falls away. Mai and Zuko blink in the sunlight as the rest of the group approaches, Toph in the lead.</p>
<p>“Any news?” Mai asks quickly.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to like it,” Toph warns. “But the good news is I think your uncle escaped.”</p>
<p>Zuko lets out a long breath.</p>
<p>“And the bad news?” he rasps.</p>
<p>“Well, everyone thinks you two are dead, for starters.”</p>
<p>“That’s not so bad,” Mai shrugs. </p>
<p>Everyone turns to stare at her. </p>
<p>“What? If they think we’re dead, it means we aren’t going to be attacked again.”</p>
<p>“Yeah…” Toph says slowly. “Except everyone thinks you betrayed the Fire Nation, murdered a bunch of patriots who were trying to stop you, and <i>now</i> you’re dead.”</p>
<p>“Betrayed the Fire Nation?” Zuko echoes in a pained voice.</p>
<p>“People were pretty unclear on the specifics,” Toph admits. “The most popular theory seemed to be that all your anti-corruption stuff was actually to line your own pockets.”</p>
<p>Zuko shuts his eyes and slumps back. Mai’s stomach drops. To have worked so hard to reverse the damage Ozai had wreaked, only to be accused of using people’s suffering for his own ends…</p>
<p>“People are asking a lot of questions about the dead guys on your boat,” Toph continues. “They say you killed five armed assassins.”</p>
<p>“Eight,” Mai corrects.</p>
<p>Sokka and Kuzon gape at her.</p>
<p>“You actually <i>killed</i> people?” Kuzon says in a high voice.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Mai replies flatly. “They <i>were</i> trying to kill us.”</p>
<p>“People were whispering that all of them had been stabbed,” Toph says uneasily.</p>
<p>“That’s right.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you guys firebenders?” Sokka asks. “I mean, I know Zuko has the dao blades, but—“</p>
<p>“Zuko didn’t kill anyone,” Mai says quickly. “It was me.”</p>
<p>“You killed eight armed men all by yourself?” Toph asks, sounding impressed.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>An awkward silence falls. Kuzon looks horrified, but everyone else seems torn between being impressed and being wary of Mai’s cold confession.</p>
<p>“Zuko’s uncle,” Mai says finally. “You said he escaped?”</p>
<p>“Allegedly. Couldn’t really get confirmation of it, but someone said they saw him playing pai sho last night.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like Iroh,” Mai says.</p>
<p>“It sounds like you talked to a lot of people, Toph,” Katara says with an uneasy edge to her voice.</p>
<p>“Did anyone get suspicious?” Sokka asks.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Toph frowns. “We should probably take off soon, just in case.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but we can’t just leave Zuko behind in this state,” Kuzon argues.</p>
<p>Katara looks like she wants to protest, but Zuko seems to have come around again.</p>
<p>“We can’t put you at risk,” Zuko chokes out. “You’ve already helped us enough.”</p>
<p>“He’s right,” Sokka adds. “If we’re caught by the wrong people, it would be really, really bad.”</p>
<p>Kuzon looks downcast.</p>
<p>“Do you have a map?” Mai asks finally. “We can plan out a route to get out of here.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get it!”</p>
<p>Kuzon leaps up from his seat and Mai feels a powerful gust of wind blow past her. She frowns, turning to look down at the port. All of the flags sit limply in the muggy heat of midday.</p>
<p>Kuzon zooms back to them and Mai spots it: his feet are barely skimming over the grass.</p>
<p>“Kuzon,” Mai says in a hollow voice. “Where are you from?”</p>
<p>“Uh, the Fire Nation?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but where specifically?”</p>
<p>“Oh, uh… Sunset Island?”</p>
<p>“That’s impossible.”</p>
<p>The group turns to look at Zuko, who is struggling to sit up. He frowns up at Mai and then looks at Kuzon.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Kuzon asks.</p>
<p>“Sunset Island has been abandoned for forty years. It was used to mine iron ore. When the mines ran dry, everyone left.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Kuzon says nervously. He glances at his friends for help, but Mai interjects before they can speak.</p>
<p>“Does everyone dress like that where you’re from?”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with how I dress?”</p>
<p>“You’re very covered up,” Mai points out. “Gloves <i>and</i> a headscarf?”</p>
<p>“You’re wearing gloves,” Sokka points out.</p>
<p>“Yes, to prevent calluses when I’m training with my weapons,” Mai agrees. “But Kuzon, you don’t carry any weapons.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I, uh… I guess I just lost my sword. Whoops! Clumsy me!”</p>
<p>“<i>And</i> you’re a waterbender,” Mai adds.</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“That’s very unusual for someone from the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>“Just lucky, I guess!”</p>
<p>Kuzon gives a nervous laugh. Mai stands slowly, watching the wary faces around her.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Zuko asks.</p>
<p>“Testing something.”</p>
<p>Before anyone can react, she pulls her golden dagger from her tunic and launches it straight at Kuzon’s head.</p>
<p>What happens next is, in Mai’s opinion, a gross overreaction. Earth rises up and slams around her. Several spikes of ice appear around her face. Sokka draws his sword and holds it just under her chin for good measure. Mai ignores all this and watches her dagger fly towards Kuzon. There’s no <i>real</i> danger — Mai had purposely aimed several inches to the left of his face — but Kuzon panics as it approaches.</p>
<p>The dagger flies suddenly and determinedly at an angle perpendicular to its original trajectory. It lands safely in the grass several feet from Kuzon, as if blown by a strong gust of wind.</p>
<p>“What in Tui’s name are you playing at?” Sokka growls, inching his sword towards Mai.</p>
<p>Mai stares at Kuzon, too shocked to speak. Sokka continues to glare menacingly until a sound startles them all.</p>
<p>Zuko is laughing.</p>
<p>It’s not a true laugh like Mai has heard before. This sound is borne of frustration and anger — a cold laugh that curses the world. Mai doesn’t exactly blame him; even she can see the deep irony in the situation.</p>
<p>“What are you laughing at?” Katara says, angling her ice spikes at Zuko.</p>
<p>Zuko’s laughter abates, and he holds his side in discomfort. He gazes at Kuzon with a look of disbelief.</p>
<p>“You’re the Avatar.”</p>
<p>“What?” Kuzon says anxiously. “Me? No, the Avatar has been missing for —“</p>
<p>“A hundred years,” Mai breathes. “<i>That’s</i> why you have an old person name. That’s why you didn’t know about Sunset Island.”</p>
<p>“I can explain…”</p>
<p>“We all just saw you airbend Mai’s knife,” Zuko says darkly. “And I was pretty out of it last night, but I do remember you waterbending. Oh, <i>Agni</i>,” Zuko says, realization dawning. “You’re his teachers, aren’t you? A waterbending master, an earthbending master, and someone to protect you guys.”</p>
<p>Sokka looks pleased to be given this designation, but Katara looks furious.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to hurt Aang.”</p>
<p>“<i>That’s</i> what you called him last night,” Mai remembers.</p>
<p>“If you’re the Avatar,” Zuko says slowly, “why haven’t you attacked us?”</p>
<p>Aang looks alarmed.</p>
<p>“Why would I attack you?”</p>
<p>“Because we’re Fire Nation,” Mai says with a snort. “Everyone knows the Avatar wanted to destroy our people a hundred years ago.”</p>
<p>“<i>What</i>?” Aang yelps.</p>
<p>“That’s ridiculous,” Sokka says hotly. “<i>You</i> were the ones who attacked the Air Nomads.”</p>
<p>“It was pre-emptive,” Mai says, trying to shrug underneath the mountain of earth still wrapped around her. “The Air Nomad army was preparing to launch an attack, so Sozin struck first.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true!” Aang shouts indignantly. “There <i>was</i> no Air Nomad army!”</p>
<p>“That’s not what we learned in school.”</p>
<p>“Then you were lied to!” Aang cries.</p>
<p>Mai shares a glance with Zuko.</p>
<p>“That… does make more sense, actually,” Zuko frowns. “I read a lot about the Avatar after… well, when I was younger,” Zuko mutters, rubbing his scar absently. “I wanted to know what kind of weapons the Avatar would be able to use other than bending. The history scrolls mentioned that Air Nomads were dangerous, but they never mentioned any weapons. I always thought that was weird.”</p>
<p>“And now that we’ve been to schools around the nation, it’s not surprising there’s some less-than-factual propaganda being taught,” Mai adds darkly.</p>
<p>“Still,” Zuko says, staring at Aang, “it <i>is</i> suspicious that you’re in the Fire Nation.”</p>
<p>“Are you looking for revenge?” Mai asks.</p>
<p>“No!” Aang says quickly.</p>
<p>“Weeeeell,” Toph adds. “It’s not <i>revenge</i> so much as <i>justice</i>.”</p>
<p>“We’re going to take down the Fire Lord,” Katara says proudly, throwing back her shoulders. “We’re going to restore balance to the world.”</p>
<p>Aang looks far less confident than Katara, but he doesn’t deny it. Mai and Zuko share another look.</p>
<p>“If you’re trying to take Ozai down, we’re not against you,” Zuko says. “But if you’re going to hurt Fire Nation citizens, we can’t stand by and do nothing.”</p>
<p>Water whips fly from Katara’s fists, stopping inches from Mai and Zuko’s faces. Zuko flinches, but Mai gives Katara a withering glare.</p>
<p>“Seriously? Do you really think we’re going to attack you after you saved Zuko’s life?”</p>
<p>“You said you wouldn’t stand by,” Katara counters.</p>
<p>“I meant,” Zuko says angrily, eyeing the icy point of Katara’s whip, “that we can help you find a way to get to Ozai without hurting other people.”</p>
<p>Mai gives Zuko a surprised look. He grimaces.</p>
<p>“My uncle was right,” he says, catching Mai’s eye. “My father never wanted to help our people. He only wants to help himself. If I <i>really</i> want to do my duty to our nation, it will be to stop him from taking advantage of the people. If the Avatar can make it happen, well…”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs. Mai blinks at Zuko for a few moments before turning to Toph.</p>
<p>“Can you <i>please</i> get rid of this dirt now?”</p>
<p>“Promise you won’t throw any knives?”</p>
<p>“For now.”</p>
<p>“Good enough.”</p>
<p>The earth crumbles away and Mai does her best to dust herself off. </p>
<p>“So,” she says, straightening to face the Avatar and his friends. “How can we help?”</p>
<p>The group goggles at her and Zuko. Before they can respond, however, Toph goes rigid.</p>
<p>“Someone’s coming.”</p>
<p>They all jump, looking towards the steep path up the cliff.</p>
<p>“Who is it?” Sokka asks, sounding concerned.</p>
<p>“Not sure, but they’re moving fast.”</p>
<p>Sokka races over to a bag abandoned by the fire and rummages inside. He pulls out a small scope and peers down the cliffside. He lets out a colorful string of curses.</p>
<p>“Fire Nation military patrol,” he barks. “We’ve gotta move.”</p>
<p>It is clear to Mai that the Avatar’s crew has been through this before. Toph stomps her feet and the fire pit is quickly smothered under the dirt. Katara bends the rest of their meager stew over the cliffside, while Aang zooms around on a ball of air to gather their supplies.</p>
<p>Mai rushes to Zuko, who struggles to his feet. He sways slightly against her, but his expression is resolute.</p>
<p>“It’s not a patrol,” he says tightly.</p>
<p>“Look for yourself,” Sokka says, handing Zuko the scope.</p>
<p>“It’s supposed to look like one,” Zuko concedes, peering down at the group approaching them. “But they’re not carrying banners.”</p>
<p>“If they’re not a patrol, what are they?”</p>
<p>“Hitmen,” Mai says tightly. “They’re not looking for you. They’re looking for us.”</p>
<p>“But everyone thinks you’re dead,” Toph says with a frown.</p>
<p>“And how would they even know you were here?” Katara adds suspiciously.</p>
<p>Mai glances down the hillside and groans.</p>
<p>“The ostrich horse,” she laments. “I stole it to ride up here. Two old men saw us, but I didn’t think they followed us. Someone must’ve spotted the ostrich horse grazing…”</p>
<p>“And saw the smoke from our fire and assumed it was you guys,” Sokka concludes with a nod. “You need to get out of here.”</p>
<p>Mai feels panic clawing at her chest. Zuko can hardly stand, let alone run. Aang seems to recognize her fear and puts a reassuring hang on her arm. Normally, she would bristle at being touched casually by a near-stranger, but something in Aang’s demeanor makes her pause.</p>
<p>“Did you mean it? When you said you wanted to help us,” Aang says, giving Mai and Zuko a curious glance.</p>
<p>Zuko fixes Aang with a steely look.</p>
<p>“I did. But I can’t speak for Mai,” he adds quickly.</p>
<p>“I’m in,” Mai says with a shrug. “Any enemy of Ozai’s is… well, I don’t really do <i>friends</i>, but we can be allies or whatever.”</p>
<p>“Great!” Aang says cheerily.</p>
<p>Katara looks less than thrilled by this, but Toph and Sokka just shrug.</p>
<p>“We need to get out of here,” Mai reminds them.</p>
<p>Aang seems untroubled by this, and reaches under his tunic. He pulls out a whistle and blows, although Mai hears nothing.</p>
<p>Not a minute later, a thunderous crash comes from the nearby woods. There is a grunting noise, and Mai slips her golden dagger into the palm of her hand.</p>
<p>A huge, furry face breaks through the trees. Zuko and Mai stare in shock as Aang zooms over to plant a hug against the creature’s side.</p>
<p>“What <i>is</i> that?” Mai asks.</p>
<p>“A sky bison,” Zuko says weakly. “I read about them. They’ve been extinct for…”</p>
<p>“A hundred years,” Mai finishes. “<i>Agni</i>, this is all so weird.”</p>
<p>“C’mon!” Toph yells from the bison’s side. “We gotta go!”</p>
<p>Mai firmly grips Zuko and they stagger over to the bison. Toph uses her bending to catapult Zuko upwards into the large saddle. He lands with a thump. Mai clambers in — she refuses to be flung upwards without being in control — and checks his side. The cut is bleeding again, and Zuko looks worried.</p>
<p>“Yip yip!”</p>
<p>With an unearthly groan, the bison starts to rise. A flash of terror floods through Mai at the sensation. She grabs onto Zuko’s shoulders reflexively. Despite his injury, he gives a snort of amusement.</p>
<p>“Are you scared of heights?” he rasps in her ear.</p>
<p>“No,” she pouts. “I just don’t want to fall off of a giant fur ball and plummet to my death.”</p>
<p>Zuko gives her a weak smile before wincing. He clutches his side.</p>
<p>“Katara!” Mai calls. “Can you heal while we fly?”</p>
<p>Katara, for all her dark glances at the two of them, eagerly moves to help. She calmly asks Zuko questions about his injury as she passes water over his side. Mai holds Zuko’s hand again, but she mostly keeps her eyes closed. The movement upwards makes her stomach uneasy.</p>
<p>Once Zuko’s side is in better shape, he crawls over to Sokka to look at maps. Sokka seems initially distrustful of Zuko, but brightens when it becomes clear that Zuko’s knowledge of Fire Nation geography far surpasses his own. The two of them plot several potential routes, as if they are two generals planning war strategy.</p>
<p>Mai, however, doesn’t feel much like talking. She huddles in the back of the saddle, trying to think about anything other than the turbulence in her gut. Toph joins her with a moan.</p>
<p>“I <i>hate</i> flying,” she admits. “But don’t insult Appa in front of Aang.”</p>
<p>“What’s Appa?”</p>
<p>“He’s the bison.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>This is the only conversation anyone gets out of Mai until they land for the evening. Zuko gives her a sympathetic grimace, and Mai pretends to be annoyed. She doesn’t like looking weak in front of everyone, but it’s nice that Zuko caresses the nape of her neck when no one is looking.</p>
<p>They manage to get a small fire going — Katara and Mai scold Zuko when he tries to bend a flame for them — and they eat a simple meal of jook. Mai is used to finer fare, but she is too hungry to complain. As they sit, she becomes aware of the tightness of her muscles. She had expected soreness from the fight on the ship, but the tension from her anxiety is an unwelcome surprise.</p>
<p>“We should call it a night,” Sokka says finally. “In the morning, we’ll figure out a plan.”</p>
<p>There is an unspoken feeling of unease. Mai knows that they have promised to help the Avatar, but it only now catches up to her what that might entail. She had wanted to escape the immediate danger of Ozai’s goons, but she fears that they had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.</p>
<p>Zuko nods respectfully to their new travel companions before limping off to the rock tent Toph has erected. Mai supposes she should thank Toph for this, but exhaustion overrides everything else. She helps Zuko lower himself stiffly onto the cold, hard ground before curling up beside him. Not for the first time, she is grateful her husband is a firebender.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She awakens the next morning in a bad mood. Her personal heater is missing.</p>
<p>She crawls out from the rock tent, half-annoyed and half-worried. Zuko always rose early for his firebending katas with the rising sun, but his injury would make bending dangerous. Mai marches over to the eastern point of their campsite, ready to force Zuko to return to bed.</p>
<p>She is met by Katara, who is staring at the riverbank with an odd expression. Mai moves to stand next to her and looks down. Next to the banks below, two seated figures bask in the bright morning sun. The golden rays soften Zuko’s scar. The look of complete surrender on his face makes Mai’s heart skip. After a long moment, she realizes why Katara had been taken aback. Aang, who looks similarly transfixed by the sun’s power, is seated inches from Zuko, the same placid look on his face.</p>
<p>Mai turns to Katara, who is watching Aang with the same mix of worry and fondness that Mai feels when she looks at Zuko. She wonders if perhaps some of Katara’s sharpness came from same place as Mai’s did. Mai was not one to trust easily, but she thinks, at least, that she understands Katara a bit better now.</p>
<p>“Come on,” Mai says after a minute. “They’ll be ages. Firebenders just love sitting in sunbeams like sloth-cats.”</p>
<p>“Aang is an airbender,” Katara says woodenly.</p>
<p>“He’s the Avatar,” Mai shrugs. “So he’s a little bit of everything, whether you like it or not.”</p>
<p>“Who said I didn’t like it?” Katara frowns.</p>
<p>“You obviously dislike firebenders,” Mai points out.</p>
<p>Katara’s expression could freeze oceans. Mai is, naturally, unaffected.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I <i>dislike</i> the people who murdered my mother,” Katara spits.</p>
<p>Mai can’t help her mild surprise.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you Water Tribe? Fire Nation armies haven’t penetrated your walls in decades.”</p>
<p>“I’m Southern Water Tribe,” Katara snarls. “Your soldiers decimated my home. Raid after raid…”</p>
<p>“Which soldiers?”</p>
<p>Katara looks taken aback.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Which soldiers?” Mai repeats. “I’m not as knowledgable about the military as Zuko is, but if you remember who it was, we could find them.”</p>
<p>Katara gapes at her.</p>
<p>“You… I…” she stutters in shock before she composes herself. “The flags had ravens on them.”</p>
<p>Mai shrugs. </p>
<p>“That’s probably good enough. You should ask Zuko. He would know who did it.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Most likely.”</p>
<p>“Why are you doing this?”</p>
<p>Mai frowns at Katara.</p>
<p>“Doing what?”</p>
<p>“Helping us. Helping <i>me</i>.”</p>
<p>“You <i>did</i> save my husband’s life,” Mai points out.</p>
<p>“But for all you know, I could use that information to kill the men who hurt my mother.”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“So, they’re your people! Don’t you care?”</p>
<p>Mai fixes Katara with a stern look.</p>
<p>“Katara, I killed eight men two night’s ago. They were Fire Nation, and probably more loyal to Ozai than they would ever be to me or Zuko. I don’t care if you kill the men who hurt your mother. I’m not here to mete out justice.”</p>
<p>“Then why <i>are</i> you here?”</p>
<p>“I’ll let you know once I figure that out. Do you have any black lotus tea?”</p>
<p>Katara looks confused by this change in topic.</p>
<p>“Uh, no. I don’t have any tea.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I need to go into town, then.”</p>
<p>Mai strides over to the rock tent where Toph is snoring, rapping sharply on the exterior.</p>
<p>“Ugh, five more minutes.”</p>
<p>“I’m going into town,” Mai says. “I need to get money and tea, so if you want to run a few scams with me, we need to go now.”</p>
<p>Toph sits up, rubbing her eyes.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Do I look like I’m joking?”</p>
<p>“You don’t look like anything to me,” Toph cracks. “But yeah, I’m in.”</p>
<p>“We need to lay low!” Katara protests. “You can’t just waltz into a Fire Nation city, Mai! Everyone thinks you’re <i>dead</i>.”</p>
<p>Mai unravels her buns, shaking her hair loose before gathering it into a simple braid.</p>
<p>“No one will recognize me.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know that.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do. I look like a peasant in these clothes. I’m basically invisible to anyone of high enough rank to have met me before, and the people who <i>do</i> see me have no idea what the Fire Lord’s least-favorite child’s wife looks like.”</p>
<p>“But…”</p>
<p>“Actually,” Sokka interjects from his own rock tent, “it’s not such a bad idea to pull a scam here. We should keep moving west, so we’re only going to be here for a few more hours until there’s enough cloud cover to fly again.”</p>
<p>Katara throws up her hands.</p>
<p>“Fine! But for the record, I think this is a terrible idea.”</p>
<p>“Noted,” Toph grins. “C’mon, Smiley!”</p>
<p>“Don’t call me that.”</p>
<p>“You know that just makes me want to do it even more, right?”</p>
<p>Mai lets out a long-suffering sigh. More than ever, she wonders if joining up with the Avatar was a terrible mistake.</p>
<p>Her worries are somewhat assuaged by her time with Toph. The tiny earthbender is wonderfully skilled at lying to people, which Mai finds amusing. When she was younger, she had always appreciated Azula’s propensity for pranking pompous idiots by lying. Of course, Azula had eventually escalated this behavior in a way Mai found distasteful. Mai promises herself to keep an eye on Toph. There were a number of similarities between Toph and the Fire Princess; perhaps Mai’s experience with Azula could prevent the same fate befalling the tiny earthbender.</p>
<p>They return to the group only two hours later, their pockets laden with gold. They had adopted a high-risk, high reward strategy that they refused to share with Katara, who would certainly scold them. Mai planned on using the gold to stock up on weapons in the next town — she didn’t want to draw too much attention to herself just yet — but she had managed to procure some tea. She hands some to Zuko, who is seated by the fire with Aang. Zuko brews Mai’s tea without a word, shooting her a curious look that she can’t quite interpret.</p>
<p>Mai sips her tea as Katara frowns at her over the fire.</p>
<p>“If you’re going to steal from people —“ she starts.</p>
<p>“Not stealing!” Toph interrupts. “They willingly parted with their money.”</p>
<p>Katara rolls her eyes. She returns her attention to Mai.</p>
<p>“You’re part of the team now. We <i>share</i> our supplies here.”</p>
<p>Katara gives Mai’s tea a pointed look. Mai puts on an expression of polite surprise.</p>
<p>“Oh! I didn’t realize you were having sex with Aang.”</p>
<p>Sokka chokes on his own spit. Aang and Katara go bright red as Toph laughs.</p>
<p>“<i>What?!</i>” Katara splutters. “We aren’t… We haven’t… why would you <i>say</i>that?”</p>
<p>“You wanted some tea, right?” Mai says calmly as she takes a sip. “Black lotus tea prevents pregnancy.”</p>
<p>Katara goes redder still.</p>
<p>“I don’t need any <i>anti-pregnancy</i> tea!”</p>
<p>“My mistake,” Mai shrugs. “But I have plenty if you ever need it.”</p>
<p>Katara lets out a huff of indignation and stomps off. Sokka follows her, looking concerned. Aang zooms over to Appa under the pretense of preparing the saddle, but Mai notices he seems to be staring at the bison’s fur with a mortified expression.</p>
<p>“Wow, Smiley,” Toph says, crossing her arms behind her head. “That was masterful.”</p>
<p>“You know, we <i>do</i> owe her for saving my life,” Zuko points out.</p>
<p>“Yeah, because you didn’t think that was funny,” Mai says with a quirk of her eyebrow.</p>
<p>Zuko looks sheepish.</p>
<p>“Okay, it <i>was</i> funny. But still, maybe we should be… nice. You know, so Katara doesn’t murder us. I think she could.”</p>
<p>“Oh, she definitely could” Toph agrees. “But don’t worry, she’ll pretend like nothing ever happened.”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I <i>did</i> think she and Aang were dating,” Mai admits. “I wasn’t trying to make fun… at first.”</p>
<p>“Ugh, it’s so annoying,” Toph groans. “He likes her. She likes him. Neither of them will do anything about it.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Mai asks. </p>
<p>She can’t quite believe that she cares. She blames her years of friendship with Ty Lee and Azula. Mai has learned that gossip can come in quite handy.</p>
<p>“Some Avatar nonsense,” Toph explains. “He’s supposed to give up ‘earthly attachments.’ As if earth wasn’t the greatest thing ever!” Toph holds up a handful of dirt and bends it into a cube for emphasis. “And Sweetness… well, don’t tell her I said this, but I think getting attached to people scares her, too.”</p>
<p>“Probably because of her mom,” Mai says with a nod.</p>
<p>“What about her mom?” Zuko asks, surprised.</p>
<p>“She was killed by the Fire Nation. Do you know of any patrols that might have gone through the Southern Water Tribe that had flags with a raven on it?”</p>
<p>“The Sea Ravens, most likely,” Zuko says, still looking at Mai curiously.</p>
<p>“Right. Apparently, they killed Katara’s mom. We should tell Katara so she can get revenge. Maybe she won’t murder us if she can go kill those guys instead.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks a bit startled by this information, but before they can discuss it further, Sokka joins them.</p>
<p>“Cloud cover looks solid. We should get a move on.”</p>
<p>Mai is extremely reluctant to fly again, but at least this time Zuko sits with her and strokes the back of her neck. She keeps her eyes closed until they land.</p>
<p>Like the evening before, dinner is quiet. As they put down their empty plates, Zuko clears his throat.</p>
<p>“Avatar Aang,” he begins.</p>
<p>“Oh, just Aang, please.”</p>
<p>This lack of formality seems to throw Zuko briefly, but he recovers and nods.</p>
<p>“Aang, for a hundred years, my ancestors have fought to control the world. I am ashamed to admit that for most of my life, I agreed with their struggle. I thought the Fire Nation was the greatest and most advanced society, and that we would spread our knowledge and our glory around the globe.”</p>
<p>Katara makes a tutting noise, but Zuko ignores her.</p>
<p>“These past few months, I have spent time with our people, and I see that they are suffering. We are not the great nation we promised to be. The only thing we bring to other nations is destruction and pain. The war must end, but Ozai will never surrender. You are right to seek to re-balance the world, and I will help you do it. I may not be as powerful a bender as my father, but I can teach you what you need to know. I can help you defeat him, Aang.”</p>
<p>There is a stunned silence. Finally, Aang stands and gives Zuko a solemn bow.</p>
<p>“I would be honored to learn from you.”</p>
<p>“What about you?” Sokka interrupts, looking at Mai.</p>
<p>“Me?” Mai repeats.</p>
<p>“Yeah, what are you bringing to Team Avatar, Smiley?”</p>
<p>“Knives, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Ooh, can I have some?”</p>
<p>“Just what we need,” Katara sighs, “Toph throwing knives at people.”</p>
<p>“I’d be a triple threat!”</p>
<p>“What’s the third thing?” Sokka asks.</p>
<p>“Earthbending, knife-throwing, and my incredible intellect, of course.”</p>
<p>“Guys!” Aang interrupts. “Kind of in the middle of an important moment, here?”</p>
<p>“Oh, right,” Toph grins. “Sorry, Twinkletoes.”</p>
<p>Aang turns back to Zuko, smiling.</p>
<p>“When can we start?”</p>
<p>“Tomorrow,” Zuko says. “We should rest first.”</p>
<p>“Great!”</p>
<p>Aang zooms around the campsite, seemingly determined to clean up and go to bed as quickly as possible. Mai and Zuko do their part to help, although Katara seems less than impressed by their attempts to wash cookery. To be fair, neither of them have ever washed a dish in their lives, so their technique is slow and inefficient.</p>
<p>Once they have finished, the two of them wander over to their rock tent. Zuko’s wounds are much better, but Mai senses he is still a bit tender from the fight. She settles against him without initiating anything more physical than a hug.</p>
<p>“I should have told you I was going to offer to train Aang,” Zuko says quietly.</p>
<p>“It’s fine. We <i>did</i> agree to help out. It makes sense, really.”</p>
<p>Zuko nods, but his expression is distant. Mai wants to ask what’s wrong, but she isn’t sure how to broach the subject. Instead, she fidgets, trying to get comfortable. She is less tired today, and each rock underneath her juts into her sore muscles.</p>
<p>“Ugh, I hate sleeping on the ground,” Mai complains.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to.”</p>
<p>Mai gives Zuko a quizzical look.</p>
<p>“Where else would I sleep?”</p>
<p>Zuko shrugs, not meeting her eyes.</p>
<p>“You could go to an inn or something. You have some spare coins, right?”</p>
<p>“We can’t go to an inn,” Mai reminds him. “We’re fugitives. Or we’re supposed to be dead or whatever. Either way, people would recognize you.”</p>
<p>“They wouldn’t recognize you though.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to an inn without you. You’re my husband.”</p>
<p>“Well…” Zuko says slowly. “I don’t have to be.”</p>
<p>Mai frowns.</p>
<p>“What’s <i>that</i> supposed to mean?”</p>
<p>“You said it yourself. We’re supposed to be dead. Our vows only promised until death do us part, so…”</p>
<p>Zuko trails off, staring fixedly at the ceiling.</p>
<p>Mai is too stunned to speak. Her body unconsciously starts to move, her knees drawing up towards her chest. She turns away from Zuko and curls tightly into a ball, making herself into a smaller target. She has never actually been on the receiving end of a knife, but she imagines that the pain she feels is akin to being stabbed. She tries to keep her focus on her breath as her heart hammers against her ribs.</p>
<p>“Mai?”</p>
<p>She doesn’t answer. She has to clamp down hard on the emotions building inside her so they won’t spill out.</p>
<p>“Hey, are you okay?”</p>
<p>A long minute passes without an answer. She feels Zuko’s hand on her shoulder and she flinches. His hand moves away, and she feels even worse.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand,” Zuko says hoarsely. “I thought you would be relieved. You don’t have to be stuck with me anymore.”</p>
<p>“Stuck with you?” she echoes. “Zuko, I <i>chose</i> you.”</p>
<p>“No, you didn’t. Your mother arranged our marriage. You didn’t want to be married.”</p>
<p>“I told you,” Mai says, her voice tight. “I could have run away. I didn’t.”</p>
<p>Even though she has been reluctant to admit it, she knows what she feels when she looks at Zuko. She has fallen in love with him, like a fool.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want me, I’ll leave,” she says finally.</p>
<p>“I didn’t say that.”</p>
<p>“You said you didn’t want to be married.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t say that, either.”</p>
<p>“Then what <i>do</i> you want, Zuko?”</p>
<p>She turns to face him. He stares at her, confused.</p>
<p>“I want to help the Avatar restore balance.”</p>
<p>“And what about me?”</p>
<p>“I can’t ask you to stay. It will dangerous.”</p>
<p>“You think I can’t handle myself?” Mai demands.</p>
<p>“I know you can handle yourself. You’ve already saved my life. But they could have <i>killed</i> you, Mai. If anything ever happened to you… I don’t know what I would do.”</p>
<p>Mai feels anger flare in her chest.</p>
<p>“Zuko, <i>you</i> were the one who almost died! How do you think <i>I</i> feel? I know everyone says I’m cold-hearted, but do you really think I could have watched you bleed to death and felt nothing?”</p>
<p>“You’re not cold,” Zuko says quickly.</p>
<p>“Really? That’s your takeaway from what I just said?”</p>
<p>“It’s important!” Zuko argues. “But you’re right. I didn’t think about what it must’ve been like for you. I was thinking about what it was like for me.”</p>
<p>Mai’s anger wars with her curiosity.</p>
<p>“What do you remember?” she asks finally.</p>
<p>“I <i>did</i> think I was going to die,” Zuko admits. “Not at first, but by the time we got up the cliff… I was having trouble focusing, and everything seemed to be happening really slowly. I was afraid. And then I saw you, and you looked afraid, too… I don’t want you to be the reason you feel like that, Mai. Not ever.”</p>
<p>Mai’s shoulders drop.</p>
<p>“Zuko, you idiot,” she groans. “Of course I was afraid. Even if we weren’t married, I would have been afraid. I <i>care</i> about you, Zuko.”</p>
<p>Zuko blinks hard and looks away. He draws in a shaky breath and rubs at his eyes.</p>
<p>“I care about you, too,” he chokes. “But the people I care about always get hurt. I can’t let it happen, Mai… Not to you.”</p>
<p>Mai shifts and wraps her arms around Zuko’s shoulders. He returns her embrace without hesitation, and some of the anxiety in Mai’s chest releases.</p>
<p>“You’re right,” Mai says quietly. “I could get hurt. But so could you. At least last time, we were there to have each other’s backs.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Zuko agrees reluctantly. “But —“</p>
<p>“No buts,” Mai says firmly. “We’re a team. If you don’t want to be my husband…” she adds shakily, “I understand. But I’m on your team, Zuko. I help you, and you help me.”</p>
<p>“I <i>do</i> want to be your husband,” Zuko admits in a small voice. “I just don’t want you to feel stuck with me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t,” Mai says. “And if you ever tell me you don’t want me to be your wife anymore, I <i>will</i> stab you.”</p>
<p>Zuko snorts in amusement.</p>
<p>“I didn’t say I didn’t want you to be my wife. I just wasn’t sure if you wanted me.”</p>
<p>“Zuko, do you realize how much black lotus tea I bought this morning? Trust me, I’m not leaving any time soon.”</p>
<p>Zuko squeezes Mai tightly. She pretends to be annoyed at his affections, but she burrows closer against him. They listen as the sound of cricket-flies fills the darkness around them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Source of Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Although Mai is used to travel, their new companions require a lot of adjustments on her behalf. For one thing, there is very little privacy. Mai is used to having space to retreat at the end of the day, but the others prefer to sit around a campfire swapping stories. Even when they do finally call it a night, Toph’s rock tents don’t offer much of a barrier to everyone else. Mai can hear Sokka snoring and Aang mumbling in his sleep. She’s thankful that Zuko’s injury provides an excuse to avoid intimacy; the idea of being overheard is very unappealing.</p>
<p>It is nice, however, to travel with a group of people who share some of her interests. She and Sokka go into the next village together to stock up on weapons. Sokka is as gifted a shopper as Ty Lee; by the time they leave the shop, he has managed to cajole the merchant into giving them a discount. This had been achieved by asking a barrage of questions that annoyed the merchant rather than Ty Lee’s method of flirting, but the end result was the same. Mai and Sokka return to camp armed to the teeth. Mai still has the golden dagger from her crown, but it would be a shame to lose it in a fight.</p>
<p>After a few days, Katara declares Zuko fully fit to return to bending. Everyone gathers around to watch Aang and Zuko’s first real lesson. Their previous sessions had been largely theoretical — mostly meditation to access their inner fire rather than wield it. Today will be the first time they bend together.</p>
<p>It’s rather anticlimactic. Aang is clearly afraid of his fire, and Zuko seems to be keeping his small on purpose. Mai watches from the shadow of a tree with a growing sense of trepidation. At first, she assumes Zuko is being cautious about his injury. His facial expressions start out calmly enough, but after ten minutes, she catches him frowning. His directions to Aang grow terse. Zuko repeats moves Mai has seen dozens of times, but his fire is nowhere near its normal size. The training session ends abruptly, and Katara glares at Zuko for his curt dismissal of Aang. Zuko ignores her and marches away. Mai, quiet as a shadow, follows.</p>
<p>Zuko stomps over to a nearby cliffside overlooking the villages below. He glares at the landscape, his fists clenched at his sides.</p>
<p>“I know you’re there,” he says finally.</p>
<p>Mai emerges from the trees to stand with him.</p>
<p>“Say it,” he barks.</p>
<p>“Say what?”</p>
<p>“Don’t,” he says tightly. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice.”</p>
<p>Mai thinks carefully before speaking.</p>
<p>“I thought you were trying to take it easy,” she admits. “But you’re not, are you?”</p>
<p>Zuko turns away, shamefaced.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. There’s just… no flame inside me.”</p>
<p>“Are you hurt? Maybe Katara missed something.”</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko says quickly. “It’s not that. It’s me.”</p>
<p>“How do you know?”</p>
<p>Zuko lets out a deep sigh.</p>
<p>“Because it’s been happening for a while now.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Mai is unable to hide her surprise. “You were bending just fine on the ship.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” Zuko agrees. “But some days I couldn’t bend properly. I thought it was just a fluke. It usually happened after we set sail for the next town, so I thought maybe I was just tired, but…”</p>
<p>Zuko sinks to the ground, kicking his legs out to dangle over the precipice. Mai seats herself beside him. She keeps her hands in her lap, although she itches to touch him. She waits, hoping he will take her hand to soothe himself.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do,” he admits quietly. “I told the Avatar I could train him, but I can’t.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you just need more time,” Mai suggests. “More rest.”</p>
<p>Zuko shakes his head.</p>
<p>“I’m not tired. Really,” he adds to her skeptical look. “It’s something else. Something… inside me. I’m the problem.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks down at his feet with a forlorn expression. Mai thinks for a moment before speaking.</p>
<p>“Who taught you to firebend?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Tutors, mostly. But I was never as good as Azula, so I don’t see —“</p>
<p>“Forget her,” Mai says quickly. “Anyone beside the tutors?”</p>
<p>“My uncle.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s face pinches with worry. There had been no rumors about the Dragon of the West in any village they had passed through. Mai knows Zuko blames himself for whatever ills might have befallen his uncle.</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s think like Iroh,” she suggests. “What would he say about all this?”</p>
<p>“Probably something confusing about how I need to access the source of my fire.”</p>
<p>“What’s the source of your fire?”</p>
<p>“How should I know?”</p>
<p>“He didn’t teach you?”</p>
<p>“No. Well…” Zuko hesitates. “He <i>tried</i> to. But I could never figure out what he was getting at.”</p>
<p>“What did he say?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks skyward, as if his memories are hovering just above his head.</p>
<p>“He always said that fire was life, that it was precious. Firebenders need control and discipline, but he also said fire was freedom. He mentioned a few times that there was more than one way to firebend, but I never really learned other ways. Everyone uses Sozin style.”</p>
<p>“What does that mean?”</p>
<p>“You fight to win. You need to have conviction. Maybe that’s my problem,” Zuko adds with a dark look. “No matter what I do, I know I’m going to lose.”</p>
<p>Mai frowns at this, but Zuko seems too lost in thought to notice. He continues, looking puzzled.</p>
<p>“But it doesn’t make sense. All the times I struggled before… it was <i>after</i> we had finished our anti-corruption work. If anything, I should have been proud. I <i>was</i> proud. My bending should have been huge!”</p>
<p>“It always seemed that your flames were biggest when you were angry,” Mai says. “When we were back in the palace and you would get home from all those stupid meetings, your fire seemed really strong.”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s part of Sozin style,” Zuko admits. “My uncle always said ‘<i>rage can fuel a flame</i>.’”</p>
<p>“Why does it sound like there is a ‘but’ coming?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks up again, trying to remember.</p>
<p>“‘<i>Rage can fuel a flame</i>’,” he repeats slowly. “<i>’But anger will burn too hot to keep it</i>.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Mai frowns. “Sounds like anger doesn’t actually help with firebending.”</p>
<p>“But it does!” Zuko protests. “Maybe it’s not sustainable long-term, but it should be enough to win a fight.”</p>
<p>“Maybe that’s what Iroh was trying to say though,” Mai counters. “Sure, you’ll win a fight, but that’s not what life is, is it? I mean, for most people it’s not. I know you’ve been fighting a long time, Zuko.”</p>
<p>“So what, I’ve just run out of fire?” Zuko scowls. “I’m all used up?”</p>
<p>“No,” Mai insists. “But you can’t bend that way forever.”</p>
<p>“So what am I supposed to do? I don’t know any other way to bend!”</p>
<p>“Iroh said there used to be different ways, right? There must be someone who knows.”</p>
<p>“If it was before Sozin style, the only person who was alive back then was Aang,” Zuko frowns. “All the old masters are dead by now.”</p>
<p>“Maybe they wrote it down?”</p>
<p>Zuko looks up at her, stunned.</p>
<p>“Mai… that’s brilliant.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know about <i>brilliant</i>,” she says with an arched brow. “I mean, you’d still need to find the scrolls they wrote…”</p>
<p>“But you’re right!” Zuko says with enthusiasm. “There <i>are</i> places with ancient scrolls. If we find them, I can learn other ways to bend. And I can teach Aang, too!”</p>
<p>Zuko scrambles to stand up. He reaches down to help Mai to her feet.</p>
<p>“I might have to leave for a few days,” he says, his brightness dimming. “I mean, you could come with us, but…”</p>
<p>“I understand,” Mai says quickly. “It’s a firebending thing.”</p>
<p>Zuko smiles at her and pulls her into an embrace. Her insides squirm. She is lying; she is terrified to be parted from him. Zuko may have been sleeping better these days, but Mai’s nightmares of Zuko’s near-death have been keeping her up at night.</p>
<p>“I should go talk to Aang,” Zuko says as he pulls away. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with the others?”</p>
<p>“Perfectly,” Mai lies again.</p>
<p>“Let’s go.”</p>
<p>It takes some convincing. Katara is opposed to Aang and Zuko going alone, and unlike Mai, she is plenty vocal about it. In the end, Aang smooths everything over and Katara begrudgingly agrees that their presence on an ancient island that once belonged to dragons might not be the best idea for the group.</p>
<p>Before they leave, Mai catches Zuko in a lingering kiss. She can hear Toph and Sokka making retching noises behind her to tease them. They are silenced when Mai throws a handful of daggers dangerously close to their feet.</p>
<p>“You can’t just throw things at us!” Katara yells.</p>
<p>“No, we deserved it,” Sokka admits. “Sorry, Mai.”</p>
<p>Mai ignores all of this, keeping her eyes fixed on the base of Zuko’s throat.</p>
<p>“Here,” she says, pressing her gold dagger into his hand.</p>
<p>Zuko looks surprised.</p>
<p>“I have the dao blades you got me,” he reminds her. “I don’t need it.”</p>
<p>Mai doesn’t know how to explain herself, but she presses it more firmly into his hand. After a moment, Zuko pockets it.</p>
<p>“I won’t lose it,” he promises.</p>
<p>“Good,” she says shakily. “I want it back.”</p>
<p>“I’ll come back, Mai.”</p>
<p>Mai presses her lips tightly together. She feels a sudden urge to cry, and she hates herself for it.</p>
<p>Zuko presses a soft kiss to her temple. She closes her eyes.</p>
<p>“Be safe,” he whispers. “And don’t stab anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Just go get your bending back quickly, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>She watches Appa take flight and retreats to her rock tent. She can hear the others debating if anyone should check on her.</p>
<p>“Just leave her alone,” Katara says wearily. “She’s probably just sad Zuko is gone.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, so shouldn’t we try to cheer her up?” Sokka asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Sugar Queen. I’m surprised you think we should leave her alone. You love talking about stupid romantic feelings.”</p>
<p>“They’re not stupid,” Katara says primly. “And we can cheer her up tomorrow. But sometimes, you just need to be sad for a little bit. Besides, I have a feeling she’s got a bunch of knives set out for whoever tries to get into her rock tent, and I’m not healing anyone tonight.”</p>
<p>Mai stares moodily at the blades she has pointed towards the entrance of her tent. She rolls over and tries not to think about how cold it is to sleep alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After Aang and Zuko leave, the rest of them take some time to regroup. Mai and Katara use their sewing skills to patch up spare clothing. Sokka pours over his maps. Toph sneaks into town to pull a few scams, which Katara sniffs at, even if the gold does come in handy.</p>
<p>After two days, the mood in their camp is bleak. Sokka, who thus far had seemed to be a cheerful and focused person, starts snapping at everyone. When he isn’t acting like an angry boarcupine, he is stalking off into the woods to sulk. Katara tries to cheer her brother up, and Toph pokes fun of his brooding. Both of these approaches seem to exacerbate the issue, and morale drops lower and lower.</p>
<p>Fortunately, Mai has experience in dealing with angsty young men. She knows the best approach is not to cajole, coddle, or tease. She is going to puncture this bad mood once and for all.</p>
<p>“So,” she starts, flopping down next to Sokka around the dimming campfire. “What’s your deal?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“You’re upset about something.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not,” Sokka pouts.</p>
<p>Mai works very hard to suppress an eye roll.</p>
<p>“Look, you’re the plan guy here. If you’re off your game, we’re all screwed. So, out with it. What’s going on?”</p>
<p>Sokka stares into the fire, his expression downcast.</p>
<p>“I’m not the plan guy,” Sokka sighs. “My plans don’t work. I just make everything worse.”</p>
<p>“Why do you say that?”</p>
<p>“I planned the invasion. It’s my fault it failed.”</p>
<p>“Invasion?” Mai asks, confused. “What invasion?”</p>
<p>“Of the Fire Nation,” Sokka says glumly. “It was such a failure, you haven’t even heard about it.”</p>
<p>“When was this?”</p>
<p>“Not that long ago. Remember the eclipse?”</p>
<p>Mai thinks back. She hadn’t taken much notice of the eclipse, but Zuko had complained bitterly about it. Given how far north they had been, the eclipse had not been complete, but Mai had heard it was a bigger deal in the Fire Nation capital. Every firebender had their inner flame snuffed out for a several long, uncomfortable minutes.</p>
<p>“That sounds like a good time to attack the Fire Nation,” Mai admits.</p>
<p>“Yeah, except they knew we were coming. We got all the way to the palace, but we found Azula instead of Ozai. We had to run for it, and most of our allies got captured.”</p>
<p>Sokka’s face twists with regret. He doesn’t notice the look of shock on Mai’s face.</p>
<p>“You mean, you actually landed on Fire Nation soil? You broke into the palace?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sokka says with a shrug. “But we failed. We didn’t stop Ozai.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think you understand,” Mai says, slightly shaken. “No one has invaded the Fire Nation in almost a <i>thousand years</i>. The palace is the most guarded place in the entire Fire Nation. It’s no wonder I hadn’t heard about it. Ozai wouldn’t want everyone to know you had gotten past his defenses.”</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Sokka looks cheered. Then, his expression dims and he stares morosely back into the fire.</p>
<p>“It still was a failure,” he sighs. “We didn’t get Ozai.”</p>
<p>“No, but he’s vulnerable. You just need a new plan.”</p>
<p>“You don’t get it!” Sokka exclaims. “Our people were captured! It’s my fault!”</p>
<p>“Captured isn’t the same as killed,” Mai says with a shrug.</p>
<p>Sokka’s eyes light up with interest.</p>
<p>“Where would high-profile prisoners be kept?”</p>
<p>Mai hesitates. She worries that she has given Sokka false hope. If there were high-profile prisoners, Mai assumes that Ozai would have them publicly executed. Sokka stares at her, his anticipation mounting.</p>
<p>“Boiling Rock is for the most dangerous,” she says slowly. “But that doesn’t mean…”</p>
<p>“Where is that?” Sokka interrupts.</p>
<p>He unfurls his favorite map of the Fire Nation. Mai notices several notes the margin made in Zuko’s handwriting.</p>
<p>“Over here,” she points. “There’s a landing port on the southern face. Gondolas take you down over the lake — filled with boiling water, obviously — and then the prison is on a rock in the center of the caldera.”</p>
<p>Sokka looks at her curiously.</p>
<p>“You seem to know an awful lot about maximum-security prisons.”</p>
<p>“My uncle is the warden of Boiling Rock. I used to go there a lot.”</p>
<p>“To a prison?”</p>
<p>“Zuko’s sister Azula was my friend when we were kids. She was obsessed with Boiling Rock. She made us go like four times so she could memorize everything about it.”</p>
<p>“That’s super weird.”</p>
<p>Mai shrugs.</p>
<p>“So, if I wanted to break in…” Sokka starts.</p>
<p>“It would be a tremendously stupid thing to do.”</p>
<p>“Unless I had someone with expert knowledge,” Sokka says, raising an eyebrow at her. </p>
<p>“Still a bad idea.”</p>
<p>“You keep saying how boring it is sitting around while everyone else trains the Avatar,” Sokka pleads. “This could be a… side trip. Y’know, something fun for us non-benders.”</p>
<p>Mai reflects on this for a moment. A prison break did sound like more fun than performing repairs on a bison saddle.</p>
<p>“I’m in. <i>But</i>,” she adds quickly as Sokka lets out a whoop of excitement, “not before Zuko is back.”</p>
<p>“You need permission from your husband to break into prison?” Sokka teases.</p>
<p>“No,” she says darkly.</p>
<p>Sokka’s expression turns sympathetic.</p>
<p>“Sorry. I think it’s kind of nice, actually.”</p>
<p>“What’s nice?”</p>
<p>“That you two watch out for each other. That’s how it’s supposed to be, right?”</p>
<p>Mai looks down at her hands.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she agrees quietly. “I guess it is.”</p>
<p>Sokka gives her a cheerful slap on the back. Mai shoots him a dirty look. She hasn’t quite gotten used to the casual touches of her new companions, and feels suspicious every time someone tries it. But Sokka just smiles at her, looking relieved.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Mai.”</p>
<p>Mai nods, wondering what exactly she was getting herself into.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>—</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mai bides her time the best she can. Sokka becomes her sparring partner, and both of them are surprised at how well this goes.</p>
<p>“Nice moves,” he pants at the end of a training session.</p>
<p>“You too.”</p>
<p>“You sound surprised,” Sokka says with a raised brow.</p>
<p>“I’m not surprised you’re good,” she says with a shrug. “But I am surprised you didn’t take it easy on me.”</p>
<p>“Ah,” Sokka says with a knowing smile. “Well, I’ve made the mistake of underestimating women in a fight before. I learned my lesson.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Toph shouts from the sidelines, “and now we know Mai murdered eight people.”</p>
<p>“Oh, right,” Sokka says. “I forgot about that. Are you…. uh, okay?”</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>Sokka gives her a doubtful look. Mai scowls.</p>
<p>“Look, it’s not like I’m happy about killing them or anything, but I had to do it. They almost killed Zuko.”</p>
<p>“Do you ever regret it?” Katara asks with unusual interest.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Does it give you bad dreams?”</p>
<p>Toph’s question sounds innocent enough, but Mai suspects that the earthbender is aware of her troubled sleep.</p>
<p>“No,” Mai repeats. “The bad dreams are the ones where I <i>don’t</i> kill them in time.”</p>
<p>Everyone nods. Mai feels a surprising sense of relief. Although she certainly doesn’t feel guilty about what she has done, she doesn’t like the idea of her traveling companions judging her. She isn’t ready to call them friends yet, but she might like to someday.</p>
<p>Mai learns new skills, too. She has never really had to fend for herself before, and unsurprisingly she knows little about how to do so. The only chore she finds tolerable is chopping food for dinner, and even this is tempered by the fact that it results in the dirtying of some of her knives. Mai and Toph try to find ways of getting out of chores, but Katara usually manages to rope them into helping out.</p>
<p>“How is it that none of you knows how to cook?” she complains one afternoon.</p>
<p>“That’s not something people of our social rank are taught, Sugar Queen.”</p>
<p>“What <i>do</i> you learn then?”</p>
<p>“How to arrange flowers and make passive-aggressive comments,” Mai says dully.</p>
<p>Toph lets out a snort. Even Katara cracks a smile. Mai has noticed that Katara, for all her gooey positivity, seems to enjoy Mai’s dark side. Mai wonders if she in Katara aren’t so different after all. Mai sees the aggression in Katara’s bending; Mai is not the only one who has had to hide her darker feelings from the world.</p>
<p>Sokka’s voice punctuates the stillness of the afternoon.</p>
<p>“Look!”</p>
<p>Katara lets out a happy cry. Mai leaps to her feet.</p>
<p>“Someone want to fill me in?” Toph grumbles.</p>
<p>“Giant fur ball approaching,” Mai says, trying to keep her voice free of the anticipation she feels.</p>
<p>“Excellent,” Toph says. “Twinkletoes is probably rusty at earthbending by now. We could use some training.”</p>
<p>Appa sails towards them and lands neatly in a meadow. Aang jumps down to hug Katara, chattering nonstop.</p>
<p>“We saw dragons!” he exclaims. “Zuko said they were all wiped out in the past hundred years, but they weren’t! And they taught us firebending and it was amazing — right, Zuko?”</p>
<p>Mai’s heart leaps to her throat. Zuko slides down from Appa’s saddle and gives the bison a grateful pat. Although he wears the peasant’s clothing he and Mai have adopted to disguise themselves, he looks more regal than Mai has ever seen. She pulls Zuko to her and crushes her lips to his.</p>
<p>“You know,” Toph says in an amused voice behind them, “I’m pretty impressed at how little you care about public displays of affection.”</p>
<p>“The Air Nomads always believed you should be open about expressing your feelings through physical touch,” Aang replies. “Maybe we could have a group hug?”</p>
<p>“How about we give them some privacy instead?” Katara says tactfully.</p>
<p>Mai steps back, releasing Zuko. She scrutinizes his expression. He gives her a soft smile.</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>Mai blushes and feels a flash of annoyance. They had been married for months now, and a simple greeting still made her heart all sea-sick. Zuko’s smile transforms into a smirk and she glares at him.</p>
<p>“Well?” she demands. “Did it work?”</p>
<p>Zuko doesn’t get a chance to answer before Aang interjects excitedly.</p>
<p>“Zuko, let’s show everyone what we learned!”</p>
<p>They all make their way to the center of their camp where bending is easiest. Aang and Zuko put on a rather dazzling display. Mai has seen Zuko bend many times, but there is something different in his manner now. His fire is just as powerful as before, but there is a gracefulness to its use. Balls of fire shoot from Zuko’s wrists, flames dancing and curling as they push through the air around them. Zuko’s muscles flex with the effort, but he does not look tired by the action. He sneaks a glance at Mai before the final movement he makes with Aang. He catches her eye and then lets forth a burst of fire unlike any Mai has seen before. There is a flash of color, like a kaleidoscope within his flame, before the heat dissipates. Aang and Zuko bow in their direction. Mai’s heart beats wildly in her chest; her mouth feels very dry.</p>
<p>“Wow, Smiley,” Toph whispers with a smirk. “Seems like you enjoyed the show.”</p>
<p>Mai gives Toph a dirty look that Toph, of course, cannot see. While Katara and Sokka rush over to Aang to shower him with praise, Mai pulls Zuko aside.</p>
<p>“Follow me.”</p>
<p>She leads him away from the camp, past where Appa is dozing in the meadow. She walks without pause until she reaches a thicket of trees, and only once she passes through them does she turn to look at Zuko.</p>
<p>He frowns at her, looking wary.</p>
<p>“Did I do something wrong?”</p>
<p>“No. I wanted to be alone with you.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Zuko’s expression clears. “Good.”</p>
<p>Mai doesn’t waste time. They haven’t been together properly for more than two weeks with Zuko’s injury and absence. Mai is more than eager to rekindle the intimacy between them.</p>
<p>Zuko, it seems, feels the same way. He groans as he lets Mai press him against a tree. His hands wander up her back and then to her front, toying with the edges of her tunic. She is about to suggest removing it when Zuko pulls away, looking serious. Now it is Mai’s turn to wonder if she has done something wrong.</p>
<p>“There’s something I need to tell you,” Zuko says solemnly.</p>
<p>Mai’s stomach tightens in fear. Her face remains neutral as always, but Zuko seems to realize what is happening underneath.</p>
<p>“It’s not a bad thing,” he says quickly. “At least, I don’t think it’s bad. Maybe you will, though. I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Tell me.”</p>
<p>Zuko evaluates her for a moment. He takes a deep breath to steel himself, his jaw set. None of this helps Mai’s stomachache one iota.</p>
<p>“I found the source of my fire,” Zuko explains. “And I found out what was blocking it.”</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes go distant, as if staring into the past.</p>
<p>“For so long, I wanted my father’s approval. I wanted him to see me for who I was and to accept me. It took a long time for me to see it, but going around the Fire Nation with you and Uncle Iroh... I finally realized that my father will never accept me for who I am. I’ll never get his approval. Every time we helped a new town, I knew what I was doing was pushing me further from him. It was the right thing to do, but to know that it would deprive me of my father’s acceptance… I was ashamed. Ashamed I could never be what he wanted, and ashamed that I still <i>wanted</i> his approval, even though I could finally see what kind of man he was. As long as I felt shame, I couldn’t feel my fire.”</p>
<p>Mai rubs a thumb over the edge of Zuko’s scarred cheek. His eyes lock onto hers. The faraway look in his eyes evaporates.</p>
<p>“Uncle Iroh was right,” he continues. “Rage <i>was</i> fueling me, but it couldn’t sustain me. I had to find something else.”</p>
<p>“Like what?”</p>
<p>“Like love.”</p>
<p>Mai’s thumb stills for a moment. It takes all her years of practice to keep a straight face. Did he mean…?</p>
<p>“I love you, Mai. I know you might not feel the same way, but —“</p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>Zuko blinks, surprised.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>They stare at each other for a long moment, both looking slightly dazed.</p>
<p>“How long?” Zuko asks finally.</p>
<p>Mai feels herself go red.</p>
<p>“A while,” she says evasively. “You?”</p>
<p>“A long time,” Zuko admits. “Remember that night you told me you thought I was doing the right thing? About the rice allocation?”</p>
<p>“We hadn’t even kissed before that,” she says, surprised.</p>
<p>Zuko goes slightly pink, but he holds her gaze.</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t <i>realize</i> that’s what I felt,” he says. “I just felt… strongly about you. It’s why I got you the dagger crown. I wanted to show you… I don’t know, that you were important to me, I guess.”</p>
<p>Mai’s heart leaps happily in her chest. Her stomach is still knotted, but the fear is replaced by a riot of grasshopper-butterflies.</p>
<p>“I don’t know when I first felt it,” she admits. “But probably just as long. Remember the first time we snuck out?”</p>
<p>Zuko smirks.</p>
<p>“When you beat those guys at darts? Yeah, I remember.”</p>
<p>“I wanted to stay out there forever,” she says with a sigh.</p>
<p>Zuko reaches up a hand to stroke her hair. She tries not to shiver in anticipation.</p>
<p>“There was a lot of stuff we learned about fire being the source of life,” Zuko says slowly. “The best way to access it was to think of your best memories, of all the things that made you happy to be alive. I thought of my mother, and of Uncle Iroh… but so many of my thoughts were of you and I realized… I realized what it meant. I should have told you I loved you a long time ago, but —“</p>
<p>“Don’t,” Mai interrupts. “You’re telling me now. That’s what matters.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes blaze and there is no more talk after that. They hastily tug at each other’s clothes in between searing kisses. There are some logistical challenges to making love in the woods, but eventually they make a nest of their tunics for Mai to lie back on as Zuko enters her. Neither of them is gentle with the other. They are too wound up from their confessions to hold anything back. Zuko snaps his hips against hers, and she does her best to swallow her screams of pleasure.</p>
<p>“No,” Zuko rasps in her ear. “I want to hear you. This is why you brought me all the way out here, isn’t it? You wanted to do this?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” she gasps. “Yes, Zuko, I —“</p>
<p>But the rest of her thoughts are carried away as Zuko’s thumb finds her center. Her legs twitch as she cries out.</p>
<p>Several enthusiastic minutes later, Zuko is lying in a heap next to her. They both pant heavily from the exertion, breaking into tired laughter when their eyes meet. After a few minutes, they fall silent, listening to the parrot-finches twittering nearby.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Zuko whispers against her skin.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that,” Mai sighs.</p>
<p>“Really?” She feels Zuko’s smirk on her shoulder. “You won’t get bored of it?”</p>
<p>Mai nudges him to meet his eyes.</p>
<p>“No,” she says firmly. “Never.”</p>
<p>The laughter leaves Zuko’s face, replaced with the same tender look he had been giving her for months. He pulls her in for another deep kiss. She sighs against him, nestling into his warmth.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you got your bending back,” she says. “I was cold without you.”</p>
<p>Zuko laughs and then sits up.</p>
<p>“We should probably go help with dinner.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Mai whines. “Aang can firebend now. He can light the fire.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but if Katara’s there, he’ll try to impress her and probably burn everything.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Mai sighs. “I guess I’ll put my clothes back on.”</p>
<p>This causes Zuko to swoop forward to kiss her naked breasts teasingly, and she gives out a very un-Mai like squeal. Zuko laughs again, smiling even as she pretends to be annoyed with him.</p>
<p>“I know you don’t mean it,” he says warmly. “You said you loved me.”</p>
<p>Part of her is tempted to deny it to tease him, but she knows her husband well enough by now. It would not do to make him question her love for him. Too many people who should have loved him had deprived him of it in the past. Instead, she leans upwards to kiss his scarred cheek.</p>
<p>“I do love you,” she confirms. “And you love me, so that means you’re going to cook me the best piece of meat you can get.”</p>
<p>Zuko nods, extending a hand. Together, they walk back towards the camp, a sense of understanding between them. Aang beams at them as they approach, and Toph gives Mai a smug smirk. Mai chooses to ignore both of these, but she can’t help the happiness fluttering in her chest. For once, she doesn’t try to stifle it down and hide it. Zuko doesn’t either; there is a light that seems to emanate from him as he goes about preparing the fire for their dinner. Mai thinks of Ty Lee and her love of aura-reading. Mai doesn’t really believe in auras, but there’s something bright and hopeful about Zuko now. She’s not surprised his flame has returned; she can practically feel his warmth as he smiles.</p>
<p>Mai lets out a long breath. For the moment, life is good.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Had to throw in some fluff ;) Back to adventures next time!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Combustion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A bit shorter than usual, but hopefully a fun ride ;) Also, I know I'm messing around with the order of canon events a lot here, but that's the fun of an AU.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group stays on the move for reasons that are never fully explained to Mai. Sokka has a convoluted plan, and it’s best not to question it too much. Mai has not forgotten her promise to help him infiltrate Boiling Rock. She figures it is only a matter of time before Sokka brings it up again, especially now that Zuko has begun training Aang in earnest. There had been a lingering wariness about this arrangement at first, but now Aang trails Zuko around like an eager polar-dog puppy. Even Katara seemed to accept that Zuko and Mai were a permanent part of the group.</p><p>Almost a week after Zuko and Aang’s return from the dragons, their group decides to resupply in a nondescript colonial town. It’s best to keep a low profile, which had been hard enough with the Avatar, two Water Tribe siblings, and a blind young woman. Now that the presumed-dead Crown Prince and his wife are part of the gang, Sokka’s paranoia makes venturing into town almost unbearable. Everyone is grumpy at the layers of disguise and obfuscation required of them. Sokka tries to force Zuko to wear a ridiculous false beard, and they almost come to blows when Zuko refuses. Mai has to threaten both of them with her daggers, pointing out that the yelling would draw even more undesirable attention.</p><p>“Besides” she points out, “Sokka’s already wearing the same beard. It would be even more odd to have the two of you with matching facial hair.”</p><p>“Can you at least—“ Sokka starts.</p><p>“No,” Mai says firmly. “I am not walking with a fake limp. People will notice. Let’s just get in and out as quickly as possible.”</p><p>‘As quickly as possible’ has a whole different meaning than Mai expects. On her previous excursions, she had gone into town with just Toph or just Sokka. Now that there are six of them, she feels like she is trying to herd a group of panther-cats. Aang flits around, eager to meet people — the exact opposite of keeping a low profile — while Sokka eyes all the wares they cannot afford. Toph has a nose for finding trouble, and even Katara can’t resist going out of her way to talk to townspeople and learning about all their intimate troubles. Only Zuko follows the plan and keeps quiet, skulking behind Mai as they wander in search of supplies.</p><p>“No wonder you guys have to keep moving,” she complains to Sokka after she drags him away from a stall of swords. Mai hustles their group down an abandoned street, towards the edge of town where Appa is hidden away. “If this is the amount of attention you guys get everywhere you go, it’s a miracle the Fire Nation hasn’t figured out who you are yet.”</p><p>Sokka is about to offer a retort, but Toph puts up a hand. Her face goes white.</p><p>“Everybody down!”</p><p>The explosion is deafening. For several horrible seconds, Mai panics in the dust cloud that overtakes them. She can’t see or hear Zuko, or anyone else for that matter. She’s not even sure what just happened.</p><p>A hand grabs her, and she almost jerks away before recognizing the heat. Zuko tugs her through the haze and they duck into an alleyway where the rest of their companions are hidden. There seems to be a furious debating raging, but Mai’s ears are ringing too loudly to hear it.</p><p>“Mai? Mai!” </p><p>Zuko’s voice finally punctures her senses.</p><p>“I can hear you,” she confirms. “What’s going on? What happened?”</p><p>“Sparky Sparky Boom Boom Man,” Sokka says tightly. His eyes are narrowed and searching.</p><p>Mai shakes her head. She must not be hearing things correctly yet.</p><p>“Come again?”</p><p>“I thought we agreed on calling him Combustion Man?” Aang asks.</p><p>“Right,” Sokka confirms. “But he’s being a jerk, so I’m going to go with the more annoying name for his annoying personality.”</p><p>“Why is he following us?” Katara asks anxiously. “This is the third time he’s tried to attack us!”</p><p>“He’s obviously tracking the Avatar,” Zuko frowns. “He’s a known hit man. He’s here to kill you, Aang.”</p><p>Aang pales. Toph, however, looks skeptical.</p><p>“How would you know that, Sparky?”</p><p>“I’ve heard stories about him,” Zuko says uneasily. “Honestly, I considered sending him after the Avatar when I was younger.”</p><p>Everyone turns to stare at Zuko, horrified.</p><p>“I didn’t do it!” Zuko rushes to explain. “I just thought that if the Avatar <i>were</i> still alive, it would bring me glory to capture him.”</p><p>“But you said this guy was a killer!” Sokka exclaims.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t actually go through with it,” Zuko asserts. “But I’m not the only one who knows about him…”</p><p>“Azula,” Mai says darkly.</p><p>Katara frowns.</p><p>“We’ve met her. In the invasion,” she adds to Zuko’s surprised look. “So she definitely knows Aang is alive and is the Avatar.”</p><p>“So how are we going to take this guy down?” Mai asks, anxiety creeping in. “We’re sitting ducks here, and I really don’t want to get blasted again.”</p><p>“We can make a run for it,” Aang suggests. “I can divert him while you guys get to Appa. I’ll join you up on the cliff.”</p><p>“We can’t run forever,” Mai points out. “You just said this guy has attacked you before.”</p><p>Before anyone can counter this point, Sokka lets out a yell of alarm and they dive out of the alley mere seconds before another explosion hits.</p><p>As the dust clears, Mai finally gets a good look at their attacker. Combustion Man — Mai refuses to use <i>Sparky Sparky Boom Boom</i>, even in her head — cuts an impressive figure. His shining, smooth head draws attention to the eye tattooed in its center. Mai only gets a brief look before the man clenches his fists, and they all jump before a blast hits them.</p><p>“We can hold him off together,” Zuko pants to Aang. “The rest of you can get back to Apaa.”</p><p>“And miss out on the action? No way!” Toph shouts as another explosion echoes in the empty streets.</p><p>“Well <i>someone</i> needs to get our escape plan going,” Sokka says. “Katara, you and Mai can —“</p><p>“I am <i>not</i> running from a fight,” Katara says, affronted. “I’m as much of a fighter as you are!”</p><p>“Of course you are!” Sokka says quickly. “It’s not about that. We just need someone who can —“</p><p>“Guys!” Mai interrupts sharply. “Running isn’t going to work.”</p><p>While the others bickered, Mai had kept her eyes trained on Combustion Man’s progress towards them. He had just popped into view again but had stopped dead, blinking in surprise. He was staring at Zuko.</p><p>“Duck!”</p><p>Sokka’s shout gets them all down in time, but the explosion splits their group in two. Aang, Sokka, and Toph are on the right, while Mai, Zuko and Katara are on the left. Mai sees Sokka try to speak — presumably to direct them to go get Appa — but to everyone’s surprise except Mai’s, the Combustion Man sets his sights on the left. Zuko tackles Katara out of the way of the blast, not realizing that the hit had been intended for him.</p><p>“What are you <i>doing</i>?” Katara huffs, lifting herself from the ground.</p><p>“Saving you from being crushed,” Zuko scowls.</p><p>“I don’t need your help,” Katara says icily.</p><p>Zuko looks on the verge of firing back, but Mai holds up her hands, a knife clenched in each fist.</p><p>“Both of you, come on,” she says sharply. “We’ve got to take cover before he comes after us.”</p><p>No sooner than Mai has said this, another blast hits the building above them. They dash away to avoid the falling debris. They hear Combustion Man clunking after them with his metal leg. Mai can hear the sounds of earth rumbling. She assumes that Toph, Aang, and Sokka are trying to draw Combustion Man away from them, but he continues his dogged pursuit. Mai, Zuko, and Katara are much faster than him, and they take refuge behind a low stone wall out of his line of sight.</p><p> “We’ve got to take this guy out before it’s too late,” Mai says hurriedly.</p><p>“Aang said we should run,” Katara points out.</p><p>“Yeah, and see how great that’s worked out,” Zuko mutters darkly.</p><p>“Why don’t you—“ Katara snarls.</p><p>“Shut up, both of you,” Mai snaps. Katara and Zuko look surprised at her venomous tone. “I know Aang wants to run, but this guy isn’t just after Aang anymore.”</p><p>Katara and Zuko exchange confused looks.</p><p>“I saw his face, Zuko,” Mai continues. “He recognized you. And if Azula is the one who sent him here…”</p><p>“He’ll report back to her that I’m still alive,” Zuko replies, realization dawning.</p><p>“Exactly. And then we’ll have Ozai’s attention, too, and it’s going to be hard to train the Avatar if the entire Fire Nation army is coming after us at once.”</p><p>“Okay,” Katara says solemnly. “How are we going to take him down?”</p><p>“He’s after me,” Zuko says with a shake of his head. “I can fight him with fire while you two get the others.”</p><p>“That’s definitely not happening,” Mai says firmly. “He’ll try to kill you.”</p><p>“You think I can’t take him in a fight?”</p><p>“Even if you could, why would you fight him alone?” Katara asks. “You’ve got us.”</p><p>Zuko blinks in surprise, but before he can respond, another explosion knocks them off their feet. Combustion Man has found them, but Aang, Toph, and Sokka are hot on his heels.</p><p>“Guys, you have to run for it!” Aang shouts. “We’ll hold him off! Take cover!”</p><p>Combustion Man turns and fires a blast at Aang, looking annoyed at the airbender’s ability to dodge. Sokka’s boomerang narrowly misses Combustion Man’s head, and he’s forced to step back.</p><p>Mai watches the scene, calculating. Everyone wanted to fight — Katara flinging shards of ice, Toph hurling rocks, and Zuko trying to deflect the blasts with his fire — but no one was really striking. They were trying to distract the Combustion Man, to draw his attention away from hurting anyone. It was working, but Mai sensed that sooner or later, Combustion Man would withdraw from the fight. A man like him knew how to bide his time. While he waited, he could pass on information to the Fire Princess about the status of the Avatar and his alliance with her presumed-dead brother.</p><p>Mai had to take matters into her own hands.</p><p>With her left hand, she grabs the short tantō sword she keeps on her. With her right, she wields a wakizashi. She might normally prefer her daggers, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Much to the alarm of her friends, Mai runs full-tilt at they attacker. Combustion Man looks almost bored by her daring. He flicks his head towards her, sending a quick blast near her feet. </p><p>This, of course, had been what Mai hoped for. She dodges at the last moment, but as the ground explodes underneath her, she leaps, the momentum of the blast propelling her upwards. She sails towards her attacker, high over his head. She thinks of Ty Lee’s cartwheeling tricks and draws her right, outstretched arm in towards her, changing her center of gravity. The motion flips her down, her feet pointing towards the ground as she flies past Combustion Man’s shoulder. She lashes her left arm out, jabbing the tantō into his neck.</p><p>He jerks at the movement, and Mai is yanked abruptly to the ground behind him. There is an odd popping sensation in Mai’s right foot as she slams into the dirt, but her focus is entirely on her hands. The man tries to turn to face her, but she holds the tantō tight, driving it up. He gives a cry of pain as it forces his head skywards. Mai slashes the wakizashi across his bared throat. From her position behind him, she can see the looks of horror on her friend’s faces as blood spurts forward. Combustion Man slumps to the ground at her feet.</p><p>A terrible silence falls. Mai yanks her bloodied blades free and draws herself up to face her companions. Strangely, it is Toph who looks the most unnerved.</p><p>“I think you just broke like, every bone in your foot,” she says in a strangled voice.</p><p>Mai glances down. Her right foot is, indeed, at a very odd angle. Time starts to move strangely. It feels like hours pass as she stares at her mangled foot, and yet mere seconds before Zuko is by her side. She blinks and suddenly Sokka and Katara are there, too. Aang and Toph hang back. Aang is pointedly avoiding looking at the blood on the ground, and Toph seems horrified by the idea of a broken foot.</p><p>“We’ll need to splint it,” Sokka says in a calm voice. “Katara, you can’t heal bones, right?”</p><p>“No,” she confirms. “And we need to get out of here fast. People are bound to come investigate all the noise.”</p><p>“Right,” Sokka nods. “Okay, Mai. I can carry you out of here. It might not be the most comfortable ride, but it’s the most efficient.”</p><p>Mai nods. She’s not sure if it’s the adrenaline, or if she really does trust Sokka. She figures someone raised on the harsh plains of the South Pole will know what to do about a broken foot.</p><p>Moments later, Sokka has hoisted her over his shoulder, his arms tight around her legs in front of him. The rest of her is draped over his back; she is eye level with his behind.</p><p>“On second thought,” she croaks, “you can leave me here. This is undignified.”</p><p>Her complaints are rightfully ignored as they race back to Appa. The jostling isn’t as bad as Mai feared, although it does shake off some of her initial shock.</p><p>Pain starts to creep up her leg. By the time they are airborne, her jaw is clenched tight against it. Katara uses cool water to investigate the extent of the injury, and Zuko lets Mai crush his hand in hers as she is prodded. Sokka and Katara come up with a makeshift splint for her, but not much can be done about the pain. Combined with airsickness, Mai vomits twice before they reach their destination. She is angry at her weakness at first, but no one says anything about her inability to keep her breakfast down. When they finally land — Aang has mercifully decided that Mai’s injury would best be tended to on solid ground — she is trembling with pain and exhaustion.</p><p>The mood in camp is subdued. Everyone wordlessly goes about their usual evening chores as the sun begins to set. Zuko takes on Mai’s chores without comment. </p><p>Once dinner is finished, Aang turns to Mai.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>Mai casts a quick glance around. Everyone is staring at her in concern.</p><p>“I mean, my foot is in several pieces, so no,” Mai says.</p><p>“I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>Mai arches an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“Taking someone’s life… it can’t be easy,” Aang says solemnly.</p><p>“He would have taken ours.”</p><p>Aang frowns.</p><p>“I think what Aang is trying to say,” Katara interrupts delicately, “is that if you need to talk about what happened, we’re here to listen.”</p><p>Mai blinks at her, nonplussed.</p><p>“You all saw what happened,” she says. “What is there to talk about?”</p><p>“Twinkletoes is worried about your spiritual side, Smiley,” Toph says, idly picking at her toes. “Y’know, since killing is bad.”</p><p>“Is it bad to kill a killer?” Zuko says defensively. “Mai saved our lives.”</p><p>“To be fair, Sparky, she was mostly trying to save <i>your</i> life. Right, Smiley?”</p><p>Mai shrugs.</p><p>“Sure, but I probably would have killed him anyway if he came after one of you.”</p><p>“Aww, thanks!”</p><p>Toph gives her a cheeky grin. Mai rolls her eyes to hide her amusement.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s right to kill people if there’s an alternative,” Aang says.</p><p>“But <i>was</i> there an alternative?” Sokka asks. “I mean, this is the third time he attacked us. Mai was right. He would have just kept coming after us.”</p><p>“There’s always another way!” Aang protests. “Mai, I <i>am</i> thankful you saved us. I don’t want you to think I’m not. But I don’t think we should kill anyone if we can help it.”</p><p>“Aang,” Zuko cuts in. “What will you do when you face the Fire Lord?”</p><p>There is an uncomfortable silence. Aang fidgets before responding.</p><p>“I’ll do my best to stop him.”</p><p>“Stop him how, exactly?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“It depends,” Aang says evasively.</p><p>“On?”</p><p>“There has to be a way to stop him without killing him,” Aang says, a note of desperation in his voice.</p><p>“There isn’t,” Zuko responds sternly. “Aang, you’re going to have to kill him.”</p><p>Aang looks crestfallen.</p><p>“But I don’t want to be a murderer!” Aang cries.</p><p>“Assassin,” Mai corrects.</p><p>Aang frowns at her.</p><p>“What’s the difference?”</p><p>“If you kill him, it’s an assassination. If I do it, it’s murder. Your motivation is political. You want to oust him as Firelord. I just want him dead because he’s a dick.”</p><p>Toph and Sokka snort in amusement, but Aang’s expression doesn’t change.</p><p>“Assassin, murderer, it doesn’t matter! I don’t want to kill <i>anyone</i>.”</p><p>“You have to, Aang,” Zuko says sternly. “It’s the only way.”</p><p>Aang whirls around, looking for someone to come to his aid. No one moves. Even Katara can only look on sadly as Aang spins.</p><p>“I need to go clear my head.”</p><p>Before anyone can stop him, Aang jumps up, an air scooter forming beneath him. He grabs his nearby staff and zooms away, headed towards the nearby trees. Katara takes a few steps to follow, but Zuko holds up his hands wearily.</p><p>“Leave him,” he croaks. “He’s going to have to come to terms with his destiny eventually.”</p><p>The mood around the camp is somber. Mai is distracted from the gloom by the pain in her foot. Katara does her best to heal the muscle and ligament damage, but the bone itself will take time. She and Zuko take turns cooling and warming Mai’s foot, which helps soothe the ache somewhat. </p><p>When it becomes clear that Aang will not return anytime soon, Zuko carries Mai towards the rock tent Toph has made for them. Mai gives Katara a weak nod of gratitude; she knows she owes her more than that, but she feels too fragile to risk showing much real emotion right now.</p><p>Zuko fusses over her, arranging her and her foot with care. Mai lets him, reminding herself that she had insisted on behaving similarly after he had been stabbed. When he finally deems his work sufficient, he lowers himself down next to her, sighing heavily.</p><p>“How’s the pain?” he asks.</p><p>“Not great.”</p><p>“Should I —“ Zuko starts.</p><p>Mai shakes her head.</p><p>“Nothing you can do,” she says resignedly.</p><p>“You saved our lives — <i>my</i> life — again,” Zuko says, looking serious.</p><p>“You would have done the same for me.”</p><p>“I would have,” Zuko agrees. “But you were braver than me.”</p><p>“Not braver,” Mai sighs. “You were fighting him, too.”</p><p>“But I wasn’t decisive,” Zuko frowns. “I should have taken action. I should have recognized that he was a threat and taken care of him. If I had only —“</p><p>“That’s your father talking,” Mai says curtly. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Zuko.”</p><p>“I didn’t protect you.”</p><p>“I don’t need to be protected.”</p><p>Zuko’s eyes swing down to her swollen foot, looking skeptical.</p><p>“I don’t need to be protected,” Mai repeats firmly. “I need you to have my back. And you do.”</p><p>“Always,” Zuko says fervently.</p><p>“Good,” Mai says, rolling her head against his chest. “I’ve got your back, too.”</p><p>“I know.” </p><p>Zuko’s voice grows tight, as do his arms around her. There is a long pause before Zuko speaks again.</p><p>“Was I too hard on Aang?” he asks.</p><p>“You told him the truth,” Mai shrugs. “He’s not going to like it, but he’ll respect that you were honest with him.”</p><p>Zuko does not seem to believe this, and shifts uncomfortably.</p><p>“Things will be better in the morning,” Mai adds.</p><p>Zuko gives the hint of a smile.</p><p>“Since when did you get so optimistic?” he teases.</p><p>“That’s me,” she mumbles sleepily. “Your ray of sunshine.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko says gently. “That’s you.”</p><p>Mai thinks he might not be joking, but she’s too tired to ask. Sleep pulls her into its embrace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Mediation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's a chapter to tide you over for the weekend!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aang returns to the camp the next morning, his attitude subdued but not defeated. He seems wary of Zuko, as if he will be chastised for not leaping at the chance to kill the Fire Lord, but Zuko does not raise the issue again. </p>
<p>They take refuge in the abandoned Western Air Temple, which Aang suggests as an easy place to recuperate after their most recent ordeal. Originally, they plan to stay until Mai’s foot can bear weight, but Sokka insists that they leave sooner than that. This becomes a topic of heated debate around the campfire. Zuko agrees with Sokka that frequent movement is prudent, especially if Azula is the one behind the search for the Avatar. To make matters worse, they find an abandoned Fire Nation airship, which sends both Sokka and Zuko into a tizzy of paranoia. Toph has to insist a dozen times that her feet cannot feel anyone else in the temple.</p>
<p>Mai is torn between supporting Zuko and wanting to avoid airsickness. Toph, naturally, prefers to stay grounded, and Aang worries about tiring Appa with continued travel. Katara finally forces everyone to go to bed in the hopes that cooler heads will prevail the next morning. No one is happy about this, and they all grumble as they wrap up the evening’s chores.</p>
<p>Mai sleeps fitfully. Her foot frequently wakes her, throbbing with pain as she tries not to fidget and wake Zuko beside her.</p>
<p>She glances out of the window in their room spots a figure in the moonlight. Sokka is seated near the remains of their fire, staring up at the full moon with a forlorn expression. Mai’s stomach twists, realizing that she certainly won’t be able to help him infiltrate Boiling Rock now. Mai vows to herself that as soon as her stupid foot is better, she’ll make things right for Sokka. She had promised to help him.</p>
<p>By midday, she decides that waiting might not be the best option after all. Katara and Sokka get into a shouting match over Agni knows what, resulting in the two of them being in foul moods all day. This, in turn, makes Toph grumpy that Sokka won’t joke around with her, and Aang anxious that Katara is upset with him. Zuko also seems to have a hard time with the change in mood. He is on high alert all day, and he reaches out unconsciously for Mai’s hand more than he has since they had lived in the palace. This is the last straw for Mai. She orders Zuko to carry her away from the group to practice knife throwing.</p>
<p>“I can set up a target for you,” Zuko offers. “Do you want to throw seated on the ground, or should I put you on top of that rock?”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to throw knives,” she explains. “I needed to talk to you in private.”</p>
<p>Zuko looks mildly panicked. Mai hastens to explain.</p>
<p>“When you and Aang were gone, Sokka told me about an invasion he planned.”</p>
<p>“Aang mentioned that,” Zuko says. “I can’t believe they made it all the way to the palace.”</p>
<p>“Well, Sokka thinks it was a failure and it was his fault. Some people got captured.”</p>
<p>“That explains why he’s so obsessed with us staying on the move,” Zuko says thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well…” Mai hesitates. “I <i>might</i> have told him about Boiling Rock and he <i>might</i> have asked me to infiltrate it with him.”</p>
<p>Zuko’s eyes go wide.</p>
<p>“That’s a suicide mission.”</p>
<p>“It’s not,” Mai protests. “My uncle is the warden. I know it really well.”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Zuko says, still gaping at her. “But breaking into the most secure prison in the Fire Nation? Even with insider knowledge, that’s going to be nearly impossible.”</p>
<p>“That’s what I told him,” Mai agrees.</p>
<p>“But you agreed to go anyway?”</p>
<p>“Not without telling you first.”</p>
<p>Zuko ponders this for a moment.</p>
<p>“Does he have enough information to try it by himself?” he asks finally.</p>
<p>Mai frowns.</p>
<p>“I mean, he knows where Boiling Rock is, but that’s all I told him.”</p>
<p>“I’ve been training with him with swords all week,” Zuko says slowly. “He’s been getting reckless. I didn’t know why but…”</p>
<p>Zuko frowns into the distance.</p>
<p>“It’s a bad idea,” Zuko says finally. “But he’s probably going to do it anyway. At the very least, he should have someone with him. And it can’t be you if your foot is broken.”</p>
<p>“Zuko…”</p>
<p>“Tell me everything you know about Boiling Rock,” Zuko says firmly. “I’ll go.”</p>
<p>“It was my promise,” Mai reminds him.</p>
<p>“I’m going to help you honor it.”</p>
<p>Mai knows that as soon as the word ‘honor’ is involved, there is no way Zuko will let go. She sighs.</p>
<p>“Go get Sokka and I’ll walk you through my plan.”</p>
<p>It takes most of the afternoon to explain everything. The layout of the prison is one thing, but she has to go through everything she knows about the guard shifts, the uniforms, even how the prisoners are rotated through the yard to exercise. She is glad Azula had been so obsessed with learning all the intimate details of the prison so she can share them with Zuko and Sokka.</p>
<p>The one flaw in the plan comes the next morning. Sokka and Zuko have disappeared without a word to the others. Also missing is the Fire Nation war balloon that they had found abandoned at the foot of the temple.</p>
<p>Katara is immediately suspicious that her brother has been hoodwinked by Zuko for some nefarious purpose. Mai is so offended by the suggestion that the two of them do not speak for the two days of Sokka and Zuko’s absence. Aang tries to mediate, but to no avail. On the second afternoon, he flops down next to Mai, looking miserable.</p>
<p>“Can you <i>please</i> talk to Katara?” he begs.</p>
<p>Mai does not look up from her pile of mending. Having a broken foot is bad enough, but being stuck with boring chores is even worse.</p>
<p>“No,” she says flatly. “I’m not interested in talking to someone who is determined to think the worst of Zuko and me.”</p>
<p>She expects Aang to argue this point, but he sighs instead.</p>
<p>“I’m no good at this, am I?”</p>
<p>Mai turns to frown at him. Self-deprecation is uncommon for Aang.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“The Avatar is supposed to bring balance. I’m supposed to help people come together. But I can’t even get two of my friends to speak to each other!”</p>
<p>Mai feels a guilty squirming in her stomach. </p>
<p>“It’s not your job to make everyone get along, Aang.”</p>
<p>“That’s exactly what the Avatar’s job is!”</p>
<p>“Balance and being best friends aren’t the same thing. You can treat someone with respect even if you don’t like them.”</p>
<p>“You and Katara aren’t even speaking to each other!”</p>
<p>“No, but we’re not being uncivil,” Mai points out. “She’s given me equal portions of food. I’m helping with all this stupid sewing stuff. We’re still on the same side.”</p>
<p>Aang, far from looking relieved, seems even more disheartened.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’m cut out for this,” he laments.</p>
<p>“You are,” Mai insists.</p>
<p>“What makes you so sure?”</p>
<p>“You’re still here, aren’t you?” Mai shrugs. “All of this — training, fighting, trying to get people to work together — all of it is hard. But you haven’t given up.”</p>
<p>Aang looks at her curiously.</p>
<p>“What?” she asks.</p>
<p>“Honestly, I thought you were going to tell me everything was terrible and I could be really mopey all afternoon.”</p>
<p>Mai turns back to her sewing, trying to hide her hurt feelings. Aang, however, seems to notice the shift in mood.</p>
<p>“What I mean is,” he adds quickly, “thank you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, either.”</p>
<p>Mai shrugs, still feeling stung.</p>
<p>“It’s fine.”</p>
<p>“No, really,” Aang says earnestly. “It was really dangerous to join us — I mean, you almost got blown up a few days ago — and Zuko told me all the stuff you’ve done to help him along the way.”</p>
<p>Mai feels a twinge of curiosity, but she tries to keep her interest hidden.</p>
<p>“I’m his wife,” she says dully. “It’s my duty to help him.”</p>
<p>Aang shakes his head with a smile.</p>
<p>“You don’t seem like the type of person who would help someone you didn’t believe in.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know me,” Mai reminds him.</p>
<p>Aang, far from looking offended, smiles more widely.</p>
<p>“Call it a hunch,” he says in amusement. “I have a good feeling about you.”</p>
<p>Mai wants to brush this aside, but it makes her think of Ty Lee. A lump comes to her throat unexpectedly, and she looks away.</p>
<p>“Did I say something wrong?”</p>
<p>Mai hesitates.</p>
<p>“No,” she says finally. “It was nice of you to say.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>Mai stares down at the sewing in her lap. It is one thing to talk to Zuko about her feelings, but she had hardly done so with anyone else.</p>
<p>An idea steals over her. She knows she doesn’t have as much to offer to the Avatar as everyone else. She can’t bend like the others, or plan half as well as Sokka. But if Aang wants practice dealing with difficult people, well…</p>
<p>“A lot of people in the Fire Nation are guarded about their emotions,” Mai tells him plainly. “It’s different from what you’ve told us about the Air Nomads. That will be a challenge for you once the war is won.”</p>
<p>Aang looks surprised by the change in the conversation. Mai continues.</p>
<p>“You’re struggling with your ability to mediate between very different people. I’m not a good mediator, but I’ve gotten good at listening to what people say, and what they’re <i>not</i> saying. It’s a good skill to learn.”</p>
<p>“Are you offering to teach me?” Aang smiles.</p>
<p>“If you want,” she shrugs. “It’s not as useful as firebending, but…”</p>
<p>“It’s really useful!” Aang says eagerly. “If we win… <i>when</i> we win, I mean — being the Avatar is going to be a lot less fighting and a lot more negotiating and peacekeeping, I hope. Monk Gyatso always said we should try to see the world from a different perspective. I used to meditate in a handstand to try it.”</p>
<p>Mai’s lips quirk upwards.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s one way to do it,” she teases.</p>
<p>Aang smiles at her brightly.</p>
<p>“Okay, so tell me what I’m missing between you and Katara. What are you guys <i>not</i> saying? Because you both keep telling me things are fine, but they’re obviously not.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Mai says, a bit more hesitant about her idea now. “I can’t really speak for her, but I can explain how someone from the Fire Nation would view our disagreement.”</p>
<p>Aang sits ramrod straight, eager for her to continue.</p>
<p>“The Fire Nation is pretty obsessed with honor,” Mai begins.</p>
<p>“Zuko may have mentioned that once or twice,” Aang says delicately.</p>
<p>Mai rolls her eyes fondly.</p>
<p>“He’s on the extreme end,” she admits, “but it <i>does</i> permeate a lot of aspects of the culture. Insulting someone and sticking to your insult is a really big deal. People can be hotheaded and say rude things, but they’re always quick to apologize. If you don’t, that insult takes on a lot of weight.”</p>
<p>Understanding starts to dawn on Aang’s face.</p>
<p>“Yesterday, Katara said Zuko had kidnapped Sokka and you didn’t get mad right away,” he remembers. “It was only after breakfast when she was still saying it was Zuko’s fault that you stopped speaking to her.”</p>
<p>Mai nods.</p>
<p>“So how do people forgive each other after time has passed?” Aang asks.</p>
<p>“Sometimes they just don’t,” Mai shrugs. “I’ve known plenty of people who have life-long grudges against each other because someone called them a liar when they were kids.”</p>
<p>Aang looks dismayed.</p>
<p>“But you can’t go on like this forever!”</p>
<p>“I’m not saying I will,” Mai says. “But apologies — proper, <i>real</i> apologies — are important in the Fire Nation. You have to humble yourself to admit you were wrong; <i>your</i> honor has to take a hit to bring back someone else’s. Katara isn’t sorry about what she said, and I can’t forgive her until she is.”</p>
<p>Aang looks thoughtful.</p>
<p>“That makes sense, I guess. But if Katara <i>did</i> say she was sorry, would you accept it?”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Mai hedges. “Like I said, apologies are important. They have to be sincere. I just don’t know if she would ever actually feel bad for thinking ill of Zuko.”</p>
<p>“You really love him, don’t you?”</p>
<p>Mai blinks, surprised by this question.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she admits.</p>
<p>Aang gives her another smile.</p>
<p>“That’s good. He really loves you.”</p>
<p>Mai feels her face heat. Aang, however, doesn’t press the point or tease her. He just keeps smiling happily until she speaks again.</p>
<p>“A lot of people have hurt him,” she points out. “I’m not going to let more people try to tear him down.”</p>
<p>“I understand,” Aang says sympathetically. “And I see why you’re mad at Katara. She doesn’t know Zuko well if she thinks he would hurt Sokka. I think she’s scared for her brother. The two of them haven’t really been apart before.”</p>
<p>Mai’s heart sinks. She had not considered this. She thinks about her own brother and how she would feel if he were in danger. Admittedly, Tom-Tom could not defend himself like Sokka, but still. Mai would resent someone who had put him in a dangerous situation. She sighs.</p>
<p>“That makes sense,” she agrees. “And I’m worried about them, too. But she doesn’t have to insult Zuko.”</p>
<p>Aang nods in agreement.</p>
<p>“I’m going to go talk to her,” he says, rising to his feet.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to do that,” Mai insists.</p>
<p>“It affects all of us,” Aang points out. “And like you said, I could use the practice. I’m going to try to listen to what Katara isn’t saying and see if I can help.”</p>
<p>Mai has a sinking suspicion this might backfire, but Aang looks resolved, and she can’t exactly chase after him in her current state. She leans back against Appa, whose furry body keeps her warm in Zuko’s absence, and returns to her sewing.</p>
<p>To her great surprise, Katara appears an hour later, looking contrite.</p>
<p>“I’m not good at apologies,” she begins slowly. “But I think I owe you one.”</p>
<p>Mai wants to brush Katara off to avoid the awkwardness, but she spots Aang’s bald head in the distance as he dodges rocks from his training with Toph. She sighs.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Mai nods.</p>
<p>“I’m worried about Sokka,” Katara admits. “I’ve always been there to have his back. Now he has to rely on Zuko to look out for him.”</p>
<p>“He will,” Mai insists.</p>
<p>“But why?” Katara asks with a note of frustration. “He has no reason to protect Sokka.”</p>
<p>“Zuko is an honorable man. He would die before he let anything happen to Sokka. To any of you,” she adds pointedly. “He made a promise to help Aang. That includes protecting his teachers and friends.”</p>
<p>Katara is silent for a long moment, worrying her lip.</p>
<p>“You must think I’m a terrible person,” she says finally.</p>
<p>“No,” Mai disagrees. “I think you’re like me, actually.”</p>
<p>Katara looks surprised.</p>
<p>“Like you?”</p>
<p>“You would have killed Combustion Man if I hadn’t, wouldn’t you?”</p>
<p>Katara looks slightly nervous.</p>
<p>“Aang says it’s wrong to kill if we don’t have to.”</p>
<p>“But that’s not what you think, is it?”</p>
<p>Katara gives Mai an evaluating stare before speaking.</p>
<p>“Aang is right,” she says firmly. “We shouldn’t kill if we can avoid it. But sometimes…”</p>
<p>“Sometimes you can’t avoid it,” Mai finishes. “And if it came down to killing Combustion Man or letting him kill Aang, would you hesitate?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>The two of them stare at each other for a long time. Finally, Katara lets out a long sigh and moves to sit next to Mai, slumping back against Appa.</p>
<p>“Aang is such a good person,” she says, closing her eyes as she rests her head. “Sometimes it makes me feel like a monster.”</p>
<p>“Zuko keeps asking me if I’m okay,” Mai admits quietly. “He’s really worried about how I feel having killed so many people to protect him.”</p>
<p>“And?” Katara asks curiously. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>“I don’t feel anything, really,” Mai admits. “Just relieved they can’t hurt us anymore. But I don’t think Zuko can imagine what that’s like. It would really weigh on him to know that he had taken a life, even if it was to protect me.”</p>
<p>Katara nods absently.</p>
<p>“I’ve wished a lot of people were dead,” she admits. “The man who killed my mother, the soldiers who harmed our village, even people like the prison guards in Ba Sing Se. It makes me feel crazy sometimes, knowing that I want to <i>hurt</i> people. Knowing that I <i>can</i> hurt people.”</p>
<p>She opens her eyes and stares down at her hands. Her expression is a mix of sadness and self-loathing.</p>
<p>“You don’t need to feel bad,” Mai says. “Don’t get me wrong — you can definitely take it too far wanting to hurt or kill people. But wanting isn’t the same as doing. We all want stuff we’re not proud of.”</p>
<p>“Even you?” Katara says with a skeptical smirk.</p>
<p>“I still want my parents to tell me they’re proud of me even though that’s never going to happen,” she admits, a bit surprised at her honesty.</p>
<p>“That’s not the same thing as wanting to kill someone out of revenge.”</p>
<p>“Maybe not,” Mai concedes. “But it’s wanting something that you don’t <i>want</i> to want, but you can’t help it. My method is to just pretend I don’t want it, although I’m sure Aang would have something to say about that.”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes,” Katara agrees with the hint of a real smile. “He’s not one for bottling up his feelings.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, not like us.”</p>
<p>“You think I bottle up my feelings?” Katara frowns.</p>
<p>“Don’t you?”</p>
<p>Katara considers this for a moment.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think about it, really,” she admits. “Sometimes they just explode out of me.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like they don’t get to come out regularly, then.”</p>
<p>“I guess I just keep things to myself until I can’t anymore.”</p>
<p>“When that happens to me, I usually have to go throw knives for a while.”</p>
<p>“You do that every day.”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p>To Mai’s surprise, Katara laughs.</p>
<p>“You know, I didn’t think we’d have this in common,” Katara says with a sardonic smile. “I thought we were so <i>different.</i> But I guess we’re not, really.”</p>
<p>“Just two women ready to kill anyone who hurts the people we care about,” Mai says in a sarcastic tone.</p>
<p>Katara giggles. Mai feels oddly relieved.</p>
<p>“Well, I <i>am</i> sorry I said rude things about Zuko,” Katara adds. “If he’s half the person you and Aang say he is, then he deserves more credit than I’m giving him.”</p>
<p>This isn’t quite the level of apology Mai would like, but she’ll settle for it.</p>
<p>“If you bring me the carrot-squash, I’ll chop some up for dinner,” Mai replies.</p>
<p>By the time Toph and Aang join them, Mai and Katara are swapping stories about their travels. Katara has a surprising rebellious streak that Mai admires. She tells Mai of all the injustices she had tried — successfully and unsuccessfully — to end as she had traveled through the Water Tribes and Earth Kingdom. </p>
<p>“Looks like Smiley and Sweetness are friends again,” Toph says as she kicks up her feet. “Good work, Twinkletoes.”</p>
<p>Katara rolls her eyes at Toph, but gives Aang a fond look.</p>
<p>“Thank you for encouraging me to talk to Mai,” she tells Aang. “You were right. We had more in common than I thought.”</p>
<p>“Looks like you’re pretty good at the balance and mediation part of the Avatar job after all,” Mai adds.</p>
<p>Aang is on the verge of responding when they hear a whistling on the wind. Katara bolts upright.</p>
<p>“Sokka!” she cries</p>
<p>Everyone turns to look at Mai, who sighs.</p>
<p>“Go ahead.”</p>
<p>Toph, Aang, and Katara run from their fire — carefully hidden inside the Air Temple to not be spotted easily from the outside — out to the temple entrance. Mai waits as she hears joyous greetings outside, feeling more annoyed than ever at her injury. She might not regret killing Combustion Man, but she certainly regretted the toll it had taken on her body.</p>
<p>Several minutes later, Zuko appears in the doorway. Mai’s heart leaps. Zuko crosses the room to kneel beside her, and she holds his face in her hands.</p>
<p>“You’re okay?” she asks, searching his expression.</p>
<p>“Mission accomplished,” he confirms. “You were right to drill us. We definitely would have been caught without your advice.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>Mai pulls him towards her, sighing as his familiar scent washes over her. He dips his tongue into her mouth, and she grabs fistfuls of his tunic to pull him closer. It’s a bit awkward with her injured foot and Zuko trying not to fall on top of her, but she doesn’t mind. She keeps kissing him, deep and hot, until there is the sound of a throat clearing in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Is it safe to come in?” Toph teases.</p>
<p>“Not like you would see anything anyway,” Mai fires back.</p>
<p>Zuko looks slightly scandalized at this joke, but Toph laughs uproariously. She is followed by Aang and a mountain of a man that Mai does not recognize. Katara enters with an older man who looks strikingly like Sokka; Mai can only presume that he is their father. Sokka enters last, his eyes continuously straying to the pretty young woman on his right.</p>
<p>“This is Mai,” Zuko says, gesturing to the others. “Mai, this is Chit Sang, Suki, and Chief Hakoda.”</p>
<p>Mai gives the most polite bow she can give while remaining seated.</p>
<p>“It is an honor to meet you,” she says in a practiced, neutral tone. “Please forgive my lack of courtesy in greeting.”</p>
<p>The man called Chit Sang looks amused.</p>
<p>“Never thought I’d have royalty bowing to me,” he laughs.</p>
<p>“Chit Sang was imprisoned for speaking out against the Crown,” Zuko explains to Mai. “Suki was the head of the Kyoshi Warriors and Chief Hakoda is the leader of the Southern Water Tribe.”</p>
<p>Both of them nod at Mai, which she returns.</p>
<p>“Let’s eat!” Sokka exclaims.</p>
<p>It is the most pleasant evening Mai has had in quite sometime, broken foot not withstanding. She and Zuko spend most of the time listening to the boisterous stories of others, the two of them pressed tightly to one another’s sides. They laugh as Sokka recounts their prison escape — complete with sound effects — and several of the more humorous adventures they have been on in the past year. Mai notices how Sokka always double checks that Suki finds his stories amusing and she tries not to smirk.</p>
<p>When the night has well and truly fallen, they each retreat to their own rooms to sleep. Mai curls up against Zuko, who lazily strokes her back.</p>
<p>“Thanks for helping Sokka,” she whispers. “And for helping me keep my promise.”</p>
<p>Zuko drops a kiss onto the top of her head. Mai sighs.</p>
<p>“Can’t wait until your foot is all healed,” Zuko rasps sleepily. “It’s more fun sneaking around with you. Sokka was a good partner, don’t get me wrong, but I like having you there, too.”</p>
<p>“That’s a good incentive to get better,” she snorts.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Zuko says, his eyelids starting to droop.</p>
<p>Mai gives him one last kiss before sleep overtakes him. She stares out the small window at the waning moon. It was curious to realize just how much her world had shifted of late, and more curious still to find that she rather enjoyed it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know a lot of you were super stoked for Boiling Rock adventures, but I figured Mai’s journey and Zuko’s journey would be different. Zuko has to prove to himself that he can do the right thing, and Mai has to get a little more in touch with her feelings. Don’t worry - she’ll get back on her feet eventually ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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